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Page name: //.1101-1200.// [Logged in view] [RSS]
2007-01-09 03:59:22
Last author: dead~spirit
Owner: Keseken
# of watchers: 20
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D20: 15
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//.1101-1200.//



.Messages //.1101-1200.//.





Dear God,

1101. First spot hehe. I notice you have chosen to ignore my request for Tarkan to release new songs. I am so distraught by this that I am considering converting to Buddhism in response. Take my requests more seriously next time :)
1102. Please help me and my boyfriend to have a great, steady relationship. After both of our hearts were broken and we met so coincidentally and instantly shared a bond, he is everything I find in a perfect boy, and God, I was just wondering if you could help us be happy together, without the daily strife that comes and goes.
1103. I really feel conflicted... Help me come to a decision?
1104. Please make me something not worth loving... I don't know how to deal with all these emotions.
1104. I feel blank. I don't know why.
1105. He Dosnt Like Me. And I'm Okay With That. Thanks God:]
1106. Please help me look after her. You know its hard. Help me keep her safe. Please.
1107. I wish people will stop blaming you for stupid little stuff. Like busted knee's, or having to choose, or having a boyfriend/girlfriend leave them.
I know you have much greater things to deal with on your hands than these stupid hopes & prayers, like helping starved children get help in africa/other countries, or helping someone get rid of cancer.
Some people are just so selfish, but you know that.
1108. I feel as if im going to slip into my old habits that you've helped me slip out of. Please help me to stay strong. ily.
1109. When you come down to Earth again, will you warn me so I can be beside my mother when the plague comes? 
1110. I want to have the 1111 spot. ><
1111. Can you help me figure out what to think about him? He's done a very very bad thing, but I don't feel as though he's a bad person. What do I do here?
1112. Decided not to be a Buddhist after all. Wish me luck with my dear little exam tomorrow!!
1113. Damn, I totally missed my chance to get the first spot. I even knew exactly when this page was being made. Hell, I was talking to her on the phone as she was making the page. Oh well. Hey, just a curiousity, why did you decide not to go Buddhist? ~[Faulty Limerence]
1114. Changing religion is too much of a hassle :) Besides, since Buddhism has no God, who am I meant to put the complains into? ;)
1115. Well, you could always trust your own ability to solve the problems that come up in your life. ^_- Or you could just stop complaining about them all-together. But I suppose that's no fun either. ~[Faulty Limerence]
1116. I know I'm lucky I'm not like horrifically mutated thanks to a chemical spill, but sometimes....most of the time....ALL THE TIME....I feel like I am. Especially when I'm with him. Why?
1117. Why must I always dream about him when I know that no matter what I do he'll never come back to me again? And if he does I couldnt help but say no? :(
1118. God, please, please, please keep him safe for me. You know that I can't protect him from here.. Please, just try and keep him safe for me. You know how much I want to do it myself, but I just can't.. so please, God, please?
1119. Don't let this happen. I'm not ready for this.
1120. I'm not diserting you, I'm just trying to find a faith I can hold onto without doubt.
1121. I know I have the disease, & I know the boy I love does too. He doesn't know he has it nor does the others... how can I get through it? Do I tell him his slutty girlfriend/fiance caught it from cheating on him? I can't. I love him. He loves me. I know I was wrong. I'm trying to fix it. I'm doing bad at it, but I really am.
1122. Help me get my GED too please.
1123. I would just like to say that this does not count as helping him.
1124. Actually, I'd like to add even MORE emphasis to that last note. This is completely and totally unfair. Fucking.. damnit.
1125. Help me get over him!
1126. I know it's bad, but I kinda wanna stop eating so I can relate to his pain...
1127. Its been over 4 months and I still cant get over him. The thirteenth will kill me :(
1128. I'd just like to say thank you, God. It occurred to me today- I can be rather ungrateful. Cheers, mate.
1129. Things are finally the way I want it. Don't let me mess it up.
1130. Why, oh "lord" does the bible completely skip over the adolecent years of Jesus H. Christ?
1131. Thanks for everything you have blessed me with, I love you.
1132. If we're going by the actions, then I guess I'm going to be just fine. If we're going by the motive behin it, then I'm totally fucking condemned and I know it. I know it's a loophole. But you must admit, between you and me, that it's a damn good one.
1133. Leibner's not going to win, you should tell Helm that, fr EVERYONE's benefit.
1134. I hope me and my friends have a great time tonight. And I hope my friend can bring 'him'. I miss him a lot.
1134. I think I love him. Don't let him be a creep :/
1135. I always mess up. Sorry, ill try to do better.
1136. God, I would like to thank you for late late nights on the phone and someone who understands that even if it's fun, that's not what it's all about. :P And please help me be quieter. Waking the house = not good.
1137. I'm feeling thankful today. <3 I love you.
1138. God! *whimpers* Come on! I know premarital sex is a sin or whatnot. And lust is too.. And.. Anyway! I know I was sinning! But what the hell?! It was a delicious freaking sin!! And I want it back! I want to have it back, as soon as I get done doing this! What. The. Hell.
Your sense or irony is amazing. As in your sense of timing.
1139. i think im totaly in luv.
1140. I know I'm responsible. The opertunity was there, he's very persistant, but I didn't. I know I didn't and he knows I didn't. I wish my parents would trust me to make the decisions I know are right and I know I'll make. Can you show my mother that I'm not that horrible child I was years ago, I know I'm not.
1141. Im making this change real. I love you.
1142. He's clueless that I know he lied. He makes it harder.
1143. And I really like Alex. John doesn't even know what's going on in my head. Help me sort this out.
1144. Does he even care anymore? i know it was my fault, but I just wanted to know he wanted me. And.. obviously.. he didn't. I'm sorry.
1145. I think I used your name in vain alot tonight, God.. I'm sorry.
In light of this repentance, will you please make sure my family sleeps heavily? <3 Thank you.
1146. God give me the strength to pull this off, to say what I need to say. Give me the strength not to break down on the phone. God give me the strength not to cry when I see him, next.
1146. I loved him, I thought he atleast liked me...I've been used. again -_-;
1147. Why cant I make up my mind :[ I want to get better, but then again I don't want to. :[]
1148. Please, God, help me get control of this before I try to become everything that I am not. Before I try to be everything they need, and before I collapse under the strain of failure and break my heart.
1149. God, please tell me what he really wants and tell him to stop playing around with my mind. 
1150. Is he messing around? Im so confused...no one has made me feel that specail since Adam...so its big. Help me to tell the truth from lies. Please?
1151. God, besides being stupid, could you please tell me what the hell I think I'm doing?
1152. I was actually dumb enough to think he'd actually like THIS gross thing I call my face. Why do you make men that use women for sex? I don't understand their purpose.
1153. Why can't I do more? Huh? What is it! Why can't I do more, God!
1154. It shouldn't mean as much if you just use your nails to hurt yourself...
1155. I can't...
1156. Thankyou for Danny pointing at me during Mcfly. And for Ben :)
1157. I know I made the mistake. the BIG ONE. but please let him believe I'm sorry. He doesn't have to accept it, just....believe it.
1158. I just finished a book called Saint Iggy.
I can't do this. I just can't. There has to be something, or there has to be nothing, or ANYTHING, but not this. There has to be some break in the contradictions which will open my eyes and give me some place to hunch my shoulders and give in. Can't I just give in? Just for once? I can't fail. You know I can't allow myself to slip into despondency and fail. I can't run on this hyper-intensive slew of emotions which are slamming me down. I just can't.
I know this is a long, long message to you, but I need you. I know it's not fair to want God only when you are needed, but it's hard to have faith when things are good. Hell, I don't even really have faith when things are bad, but I need you anyway, and I feel that this is the only place I can talk to you.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I just don't know. I just don't. I want to scream and scream and scream because I feel so helpless right now. I feel trapped. I see what I need to do, how I should do it, what I'm supposed to feel, and I just don't know how to do it. Tell me how to help him. Tell me how to make things better. Why can't I just fix things? Why can't I just want them as much as I do and have them WORK? Why do I always feel so confined by the things I want to say? I want to say so much, and so much of it would be painful. I can't bring myself to say it, but.. can I say it to you?
Please help me understand the things I'm doing wrong. I try really hard not to be a bad person, I don't know if that counts for anything on my part, but I really do. I try to help people, even though I know I can be selfish. Maybe even selfish in that helping.. but I need to know what I'm doing wrong, and more than that, I need to know how to fix it. And I need to know how to fix other things. Why can't I just hold him tight and make things okay for once. Why can't I keep my friends safe from heartache? Why can’t I bring the people they need to them? I know what she thinks of me, how do I change it?
I want things to be better. I want them, honestly, to be better. My life isn't terrible. My past is between you and me right now, and that's just.. the past. I want to make the future work. But I feel like I'm losing my mind some times. I want to bring myself up into something better than this. I feel half-broken. Please help me, God. I don't know how to do it alone, I just don't. I'll try, but... If you can help me...
Iggy reminded me so much of him… Please help him too.
1159. I feel dead on the inside. I want to take back what I did. I want to erase my only regret. I feel lower than low, I feel hurt, but who care about me...HE'S hurt. The one person I love more than anything else in this world is hurt and broken because of ME. The one thing I didn't want to do, the one thing I tried so hard to avoid and the one thing I made everyone else pay for was hurting him and yet I did it in one night. I'm a horrible person. Please, please please please let him understand how sorry I am. Make him better, make everything better for him. He's had it rough, I don't want to be the reason he no longer trusts. I know how it feels not to trust, I don't wish it on him. I need you, I need you to help me help him. Help me erase the past...
1160. Please help me, God... I'm really not kidding...
1161. Please let this work out. He's my best friend, and I'm so scared this'll ruin us if it doesnt..
1162. Do I Just Write It Here? Oh Well.
Help Me. I Dont Want To Get Over Him. I Just Want Him To Feel About Me The Way I Do About Him. But I Feel Like Im Betraying Her. We Both Moved On, We Are Both About 300,000 Miles Away From Each Other. But I Still Love Her.And Miss Her...

Fuck. Im Emotional Fuckup. Help Me Please Lord. Or Whoever It Is Out There. I Have Strong Feelings For Them Both. Im Sorry. There Is Nothing I Can Do About Laurie. But Let Things Progress With Him. Help Me.
I Know There Is Much More That You Have To Do.
But If You Could Help Me, That'd Be Amazing.
But Before You Help Me With My Messed Up Love Life, Please Help Julie Beat The Cancer. I Love Her.
Please Keep Me And Everyone I Care About Safe.
xxxxxx
1163. I hate the way this is happening. I don't want to do any of this..but I can't help it. How do I break it to him that im not the type of girl to do long distance, even if it is a city away? And how do I tell him that I don't feel as strongly for him as he feels for me? And about Josh. What is going on inside his head? Why does he only love me when he has no one else to love? I can't play these games. On other notes, thank you for everything you have blessed me with. And thanks for always loving me, when I have been so awfully rude to you. I love you <3.
1164. I haven't stopped coughing for three months. The said they might need a lung biopsy. I'm taking ten pills a day. Do you want me to die, or just to make Eli Lilly happy?
1165. How many times am I going to have to say "IM SORRY"?
1166. Hey, it's me again I guess. I don't want to treat you like Santa Clause, so I'm not making a wish. Just talking about my hopes. For I still hope with all my heart that my friend will not die. I really feel like I lost her this time. She doesn't respond to me as frequently any more and is starting to skip on social life. I don't like these bad signs. When D. told me she'd not make it 'till December, I was shocked, but I knew. However, there's still time for her to make it to Decemeber. To make it to the new year. To make it to her graduation, her first job. I say please to whoever hears me. She needs a life, a good decent less worried life.
And please, could someone out there make out his mind about my mother? If you don't want her dead, 'cause clearly you do not, why would you torture her like this? Choking her, making her allergic to her lifesaving medicine, is pure murder. She deserves so much more, she is my mother, she is my hero. No one deserves ten years of dying. No one.
I pray for all the people in the world, even though I'm atheist. I'm sorry for being such a heathen. I wish I could believe in any god above. I'm sorry.
1167. Please help #1166's mother. if you want people to believe in you so badly, you have to start providing miricles agian, instead of tragedy's. You know I love you, but you also know what I just said is very true.
Prove us wrong, please?
1168. My mom is a drug addict. I was put in a foster home, and adopted for up to 9 years of my life. The other 7 were spend in abuse. Anyway, I hadn't talked to my mother in years, and it hurts... bad. But she called me out of no where, for a week straight, talking to me everynight for at least an hour. I got all my hopes up and settled down into the thought that she'd be back. I'd have a mom again. But she cut me off, and is moving to Drug Capitol of California with her abusive boyfriend. This causes my whole family to be angry, but they take it out on me. My aunt screams at me all the time, telling me I'm worthless, a failure, that I'll be just like my mother. And that scares me so much. I turn my sadness into anger so I don't feel like commiting suicide anymore. So, I get angry and when I talk to my boyfriend on the phone that's all I am. I lost him because of the way I'm feeling about my mother. I feel so alone and I have no one to lean on. I'm so scared that I could fall back into my old habits. I've never done this before. I've never broke down to tell someone everything. I want to feel like I'm worth something. I want to have my boyfriend love me for who I really am, not who my anger makes me.
I'm so scared.
1169. Do you have to say prayers aloud for you to hear them?
1170. I couldn't save him... I tried, and he ended up dieing right before my eyes... I don't really believe in you, but if you are real, what do you want from me?!?!? I try to be good, and I try to help others, even when it destroys me, but I get nothing back from it, and usually it comes back to hurt me. I just don't under stand..
1171. Puzzled...I want to bleed out these excess emotions. They're building up, I guess, and I don't know how to deal with them.. That's the way I know to do things, even if I know I can't anymore...
1172. It's none of his business, tell him to butt out. Sometimes I feel bad for him, only because I know in 20 years from now he'll be dead on the side of the road and I'll be way up top.
1173.what if your not realy there ?
1174. Thank you for giving me the strength and to beable to make the right desicion. I didnt want to make that mistake again. I love you.
1178. Your my Favorite :) I love you soo much.
1179. Was this to prove we can still be great friends even if we broke up? I'm glad you did this, it proved to me that we can still be. and nothing has changed, it's wonderful. Haha. I cant wait to see him on x-mas break, it'll be awesome.
1180. I'm so confused God, and I bet he is too. Could you please just help me get through this confusion? I don't know what he wants, and it's stressing me out.
1181. I thought you'd help me in my new school, but you haven't. I havent any close friends in or out of school Or if they consider themselves as close friends, why dont they let me know? And why do guys constantly want me as a fuck buddy or a friend? Nothing more... *sigh* I know there are more unfortunate people.. I just hate being like this..
1182. I know it takes time for great things to happen. Is it true? If it is, then I hope this will be a good one. I can wait God, but sometimes, I feel lonely.
1183. I just wanted to tell you that you're a bastard. Out of all the sluts, and useless arseholes you could have taken, you took her.
1184. I've been wanting to say this for a while and none of my other friends really cares or understands and If you're really out there, I know you're the one thing that will listen. I really miss talking to them...They were my best friends at one time or another and I just really miss talking to them....It kills me to think that we were best friends and then we just kind of quit talking to the point when we even DO talk, it's akward...I just really miss their comfort and how they understand me and where I'm coming from. I hope they're all happy, and that they think of me sometimes because you know I do. And by the way, He looks good, I'm glad he never ended up with her, I know she was my best friend at one point and they really "cared" for each other but he's way better off without her. And you know this isn't jealousy because he was just a really cool guy...And he's going somewhere. But he really does look good and I hope he's happy too. And this other thing...I hope it blows over because I never meant for this to happen.
1185. Is it wrong that I hate him?
1186. Honestly.....What is/was the point? Fill me in because I Really don't understand any of this.....
1187. Sometimes, It's really hard to keep going.
1188. Please Bring my brother back...28 days is a really long time to wait...he fucked up and this is for the best, but I really miss him. :(
1189. Thankyou for making things progress with him. if you let me know where his heart lies that would be great.
Im so grateful for what has happened with them so far.
xxxx
1190. I made a mistake by falling for him again. Please help me to be stong the next time he comes around. Please help me tell him No. ily.
1191. I don't get it. I met him and he told me I was pretty, but why do I always have to fall for guys so easily? I'm confused again, especially now that he has a girlfriend.
1192. I don't get it, why don't I feel the same way about him?
1193. Lord, I started reading the bible yesterday. I really like it. I stopped saying prayer. Do you know why? Because everytime I go to Church, say prayer, or do anything that has to do with you, I always have a horrible day. Why? I love you, what is happening?
1194. Please watch over and protect my best friend while he is serving in Iraq.
1195. I know me and Andy don't see eye to eye all the time, but please, let him survive this brain tumour. You already took Claire from us, wasn't that enough?
1196. I love him. I love him so much. It's been 2 years now, so...tell me God, why does something feel so wrong?
1197. God, please make it safe for my friend while he is stationed in the Army Infantry. I do miss him deeply, and I just want him to come back home so badly. Thanks, Lord. I love you.
1198. Its crazy to think that someone can hurt you so bad that you won't let yourself move on. But then again its incredible that you will have the one guy, that will always want to be with you, and will wait..even if he waits in another relationship. He's a great friend. I like him alot too, so please, help me find myself to overlook the age difference, and help me overcome my fear of commitment again. Thank you so much for blessing me with so much hope. And just, thanks. I love you.
1199. Bleh. 52 days.
1200. Of course it's my fault...everything is my fault. I lost the remote, I stained the carpet, I splashed soda that I don't drink on the wall, I did this, I did that...all my fault. Surely it couldn't have been your irresponsible loser of a son. Nope. It was me. Fuck you Linda. Maybe you could stop using me as a scapegoat for everything that goes wrong...~[Faulty Limerence]


[Yo.Full.]
Lets move on.
//.1201-1300.// [<3]


[<3]//.1-100.//[<3]//.101-200.// [<3]//.201-300.//[<3]//.301-400.//[<3]//.401-500.//.[<3]//.501-600.//.[<3]//.601-700.// [<3]//.701-800.//[<3]//.801-900.//[<3]//.901-1000.//[<3]//.1001-1100.//[<3]


.My Messages To God.

[</3/3/3]



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2006-11-07 [Keseken]: I would like to remind you all that this is not a message board. :P Thank you.

2006-11-07 [Faulty Limerence]: Pah...fine we can talk here. Right? You're lucky we're on the same team around here Rachel, or I'd totally...well...I dunno I'd be all mean and pissy at you. ^__^

2006-11-07 [Keseken]: Yup. Here is the message board part. :P But up there is not.
And I know I'm lucky. :P I probably wouldn't win otherwise.

2006-11-07 [Keseken]: >> << >> I.. don't think that this is the discussion I want on the semi-my wiki either. >> << >>

2006-11-21 [Keseken]: Who ever is using the faces that look like this ':['
]
Could you please use a more standard form of frowy face, or put a ] bracket at the end of your message, otherwise it turns everything pink in the messages under yours.
Thank you very much. <3

2006-11-21 [jumpydrummer]: hey theres no link to this page on the main page:/

2006-11-21 [Keseken]: Whoopsies. Allow me to fix. ^^;;

2006-12-06 [dead~spirit]: iiLo

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