A shallow pool fills the centre of this large room. But this is no ordinary bath.
Not a chance.
The utterly twisted combination of both [BadCat
] and [Arctik
] are honoured to welcome you into the first and only Vodka Bath! Please read the warnings before bathing or indulging in any other odd vodka related fantasies.
When you're done with the reading, feel free to grab a drink from the table in the corner - always well stocked with a wide variety of beverages - or play Naughty Twister, or tease the ferocious, starving rodents in the big cage. But be careful - they'll take your hand off as soon as look at you!"
Mounted on the wall next to the door is a set of rules:
Do not drink out of the pool. You will be punished.
Drinks are provided on the corner table.
Orthotolidine has been mixed into the vodka, so if anyone dares
urinate in our precious pool, we will know straight away! You will be severely punished.
Clothing is optional, but feel free to thrash anyone you feel is staring too keenly.
Feel free to stare at anyone, but accept that there are consequences.
If, while bringing about the pain of anyone indulging in Rule #3a, you happen to spill any of either party's blood into our precious pool, you will also be severely punished.
No Spray-On Cheese allowed within four hundred metres of the Vodka Pool. You will be annihilated
Punishments are as follows.
"Punished": Any remaining clothing will be confiscated. You will then be placed within the large cage of flesh-eating rodents (ferrets included) that you see on against the east wall. You will stay there until the observers grow tired of watching you being gnawed to a pulp.
"Severely Punished": The above punishment is nothing compared to what we can think of if we really put our minds to it. Just don't tempt us, we really love our torture!
If you're looking for archived smut, we suggest mouldyvodka
Well, it's about time. There is now a mouldyvodka2
, for the rest of our rubbish...
Oh, look... mouldyvodka3
BadCat leans against a wall with a large contented grin on her face. "It's so nice to have this place once again filled with the juvenile murmurings of silly folk..."
Kay pauses, writes 'juvenile' on her mallet, then throws it-WHAM!-into Eli's face. "How's that
for juvenile mutterings?" she (ironically) mutters, most of her fingers now regrown thanks to the healing power of asterisks *regrows fingers*.
Arctik slides over to BadCat, with help from a teatowel and a slick of splashed vodka on the floor. Tying the teatowel around his head, he says, "It ain't filled yet! We need more people still... and I hear they're going cheap down the road. Does anyone want to go and get some?" He pulls out a wallet and casually starts going through it.
Kay raises her hand. "Could you bring me back an insecure 13-year-old girl who likes horses?" she asks politely, wanting to break in her mallet some more.
"If you're paying, I'll go fetch some cheap (and easy) people," BadCat says agreeably. "I'll pick up some cans of whipped cream and some tropical fruit juice too."
Eli falls back into the pool, but comes up moments later, the imprint of the mallet still on his face and the mallet in question in his hand. Jumping out, he wraps an arm around Kay's shoulder. "You're so cute when you're on a homicidal rampage," he says. He looks up. "Anything you'd like me to do?" he asks the lovely BadCat. "I'd love to repay the favor, for this place, and letting me swim in the vodka pool."
"Forget about the 13-year-old," Kay says, grabbing her mallet back and gripping the handle so hard her knuckles turn white. "This lil'un's skull is hard enough. He'll do."
Jurankanimo slips into the pool and grabs a drink "Hi!"
Jewl mutters something about a young white male going through the voice change state of puberty.
Eli laughed nervously and stepped out of range of Kay's mallet.
Kay sighed, now bored that Eli was out of range-then came upon a phenominal concept! "I think... If I just do..." She heaves it at Eli's head, watching it connect. "Yes! Using my hand to project the object in a relatively straight line, allowing for gravity and air friction, then it actually sails in the air
toward a specified target! I think... I think I shall call this throwing!" She runs out of the room to announce her discovery to all the world, probably never coming back for shame that Abraham Lincoln had already invented it.