2011-06-16 [Lord Josmar]: Darn...one comment too late, lol
2011-06-16 [Mortified Penguin]: You know, of the last thirty featured members, only two have been male. However, Elftown's active members are roughly equal, with 408 males and 422 females logging on in the last week. So it isn't a lack of male members causing this. Does this mean that females on Elftown are inherently more interesting and deserving of being featured? Or perhaps only females are ever nominated? That can't be true though, I've seen plenty of males nominated before. So what then is the case? Maybe the Featured Member Bosses are to blame, but that can't be it. The Crew is infallible, as we're all so well aware of. Maybe it's all just a coincidence or something, like how the Crew is also mostly female... I dunno... *eats ramen*...
In any case, I would like to nominate myself.
2011-06-16 [SilverFire]: That can't be true though, I've seen plenty of males nominated before.
Actually, most of the recent nominations HAVE been female. Find some other males to nominate.
2011-06-16 [Mortified Penguin]: I do believe I've nominated quite a few in the past. Maybe they've just been overlooked? Peculiar.
I'll just try again, I suppose. How about [Pillowthief], [Paul Doyle], [Nekko fox], [Sagacious Turkey], [Imperator], [American Revolutionary], [Avaz], [Duke Devlin] (she's close enough), [nokaredes] (I'm pretty darn sure she has a penis as well), [Lord Josmar], [Lethan], [Mystin], [RemovedAcct], [djxmonster], [HTOWNCASPER], [Sideways], [ScottJo], and [Sheamus Finn]?
2011-06-16 [SilverFire]: I was just looking through past pages for exactly that. Some nominations may well have been overlooked whilst the feature was somewhat dormant.
2011-06-16 [Mortified Penguin]:
2011-06-16 [Mortified Penguin]: I second that nomination.
2011-06-16 [Akayume]: All noted. (:
2011-06-17 [Mortified Penguin]: Yeah, Twitchy too. And don't forget about all the other people I forgot.
2011-07-01 [Akayume]: Noted. (:
2011-07-03 [Yami]: Thank you ^_^
2011-07-16 [Lord Josmar]: If we get one more woman in a row for the featured member, I'm going to call shenanigans!
2011-07-16 [Lord Josmar]: :p
2011-07-16 [wicked fae mage]: So nominate more men that are active. :P
And remember that there's a list.
2011-07-16 [SilverFire]: I wonder if you'd have noticed had it been so many men in a row. <_<
2011-07-16 [Mortified Penguin]: I would have. I notice these things. And those things. And sometimes even them things as well.
2011-07-16 [SilverFire]: I don't suppose you've noticed how many Europeans to Americans we've featured? I was actually getting quite curious about certain statistics, and was almost tempted to investigate, but if you've already noticed...? :P
2011-07-16 [Mortified Penguin]: No, no, that would be included in them there things, which aren't things I've noticed yet, but will have noticed in the future.
2011-07-16 [SilverFire]: Lemme know when you notice them. :P
2011-07-17 [Lord Josmar]: I wouldn't know if they were European or not unless I did further research. And the only reason I noticed that there were so many women in a row was because someone mentioned it earlier somewhere. So there :P"
2011-08-06 [Thrice]: >.> I nominate Mort... just to make him happy and get him out of the way xD
2011-08-07 [Yami]: I nominate Mort too because he's a funny penguin
2011-08-07 [Lord Josmar]: I nominate Mort again.
2011-08-07 [Mortified Penguin]: I fifth that nomination.
2011-08-07 [Doormat]: Nope.gif
2011-11-04 [wicked fae mage]: She's a crew member, so she cannot be featured. But, I am certain she appreciates the thought! :)
2011-11-04 [Mortified Penguin]: I second that.
2011-11-04 [Ravenclaw]: That being crew would make his head swell? *snicker snicker*
2011-11-04 [Mortified Penguin]: That as well.
2011-11-04 [Ravenclaw]: lol
2011-11-04 [Mortified Penguin]: Awright.
>complain about no guys ever winning featured member
>four guys win in a row
Now, if we could only get more guys on the crew...
2011-11-04 [wicked fae mage]: Lord Josmar is not a member of crew, so I'll put him on the list of nominations. :)
2011-11-04 [Lord Josmar]: ...my head wouldn't swell...
2011-11-04 [Mortified Penguin]: It's swelling right now! *repeatedly stabs it to relieve pressure*
2011-11-04 [Ravenclaw]: Josmar... You and I both know that it would.
2011-11-08 [Mortified Penguin]: Fact: If I were to be a featured member, everyone would get to see sexy pictures of me. :D
2011-11-08 [Lord Josmar]: Inominate[mortifiedpenguin]!!!!!!!!!!111!
2012-01-10 [wicked fae mage]: Noted! Thank you :)
2012-01-10 [Synirria]: No, thank you! :D
2012-03-05 [Mortified Penguin]: I nominate Mortified Pe- oh, wait...
2012-04-27 [Doormat]: I'd like to nominate [Petrified Penguin] for being a shining example of a penguin.
2012-04-28 [Mortified Penguin]: *loads his shotgun* Excuse me for a moment. *storms out the door, jumps into his truck, and promptly crashes into an oak tree, because he has been drinking heavily over the last few hours*... *stumbles out of the flaming wreckage and starts shooting at a stop sign, screaming stuff about the stock market*
2012-09-13 [Mortified Penguin]: ........this page needs updating.
2012-09-14 [wicked fae mage]: Whoops... Thanks, Mort! It slipped my mind!
2012-09-14 [Yami]: See? Mort should be featured, he rocks my socks ^^
2012-09-14 [Yami]: *giggles* See? He's funny and thoughtful.
2012-10-03 [wicked fae mage]: Yes, you do. And thank you for your nomination. :)
2012-11-12 [Mortified Penguin]: *sobs*
2012-11-12 [wicked fae mage]: Thank you for your nominations! :)
2012-12-31 [Mortified Penguin]: (and me too, while you're at it!)
2013-03-22 [pegasus1000]: I would like to nominate [SilverFire] First of all her number is awesome and Secondly she knows how to kick ass and take names in good form. I am really surprised she hasn't been featured for all the help she gives.
2013-03-22 [wicked fae mage]: She hasn't been featured because she was a crew member. Crew members can't be featured while they're crew members. And thanks for the nomination.
2013-03-23 [pegasus1000]: Mort you nominating yourself probably ruined your chances of actually being featured... It's like if I were to say "Hey re-feature me because the old format sucked..." It would NEVER happen... (I am kidding. Yes my feature was short but it's probably the funniest.). Think of this like kick ball, the more you say "Pick me! pick me!" the more the rest of us will ignore you.
2013-03-24 [Mortified Penguin]: I think I understand what you're saying. I need to kick a lot of balls if I'm to get featured. Thanks for the advice!
Also, I would like to nominate [Mortified Penguin].
2013-03-24 [Mortified Penguin]: As for your analogy, It's more like a lot of kids on the playground are saying, "Hey, pick Mort. He's great at kickball." And I'm saying, "Seriously, you guys. I played at regionals last year and lead the team to a near perfect season before we lost to the Sewageville Prep Fighting Wolpertings in triple overtime. And that was just because Larry got ejected for being 27 in an elementary school league and we lost our backup kicker."
And the team captains (the ones in charge of selecting featured members) are all like, "Yeah, he's awesome and the best player and should be on my team, but he's too damn handsome and Bridgett is watching and he'll show me up and make me look bad. And I've been wanting to date Bridgett since SECOND GRADE. But NNNNOOOOOOO! She always has to hook up with the cool jocks! When will she see my INNER BEAUTY?!" and then they break down in puny tears and sob like the children they are.
2013-05-01 [Mortified Penguin]: Hey, I've actually been nominated by [Eyden13], [Lord Josmar], [Thrice], [Yami], and possibly [Madhalf Heatlump]. And myself like 80 times. I think my chances are looking pretty high! :D
2013-08-08 [Mortified Penguin]: I hate you so much.
2013-08-08 [Sunrose]: Don't go Kelis on me now..
2013-08-09 [Mortified Penguin]:
2013-08-09 [wicked fae mage]: Thanks, it completely slipped my mind. Fixed.
2013-08-27 [Avaz]: Thanks. :) I'm just noticing this comment now. ^^
2013-08-27 [Sunrose]: =P
2013-12-20 [Mortified Penguin]: Also, I would like to see [Hedda] featured, even though he's probably technically a crew member. I think it'd be interesting to read what he'd have to say in an interview and I think more members should know about our reclusive mayor/merciles
2013-12-20 [Sunrose]: You think he's reclusive? :P
2013-12-20 [Mortified Penguin]: To Elftown at least.
2013-12-20 [Sunrose]: Well if you had had boobs he might log in for you.. :P
2013-12-21 [Nuktae-tal]: I have big boobs... should I get a picture of my cleavage?
2013-12-21 [Viking]: Do you want the attention that a cleavage pic normally brings?
2013-12-22 [Sunrose]: I don't think size really matters to Hedda, but be my guest :P
2013-12-23 [Nuktae-tal]: I can't not get that attention I have cleavage in t-shirts even
2013-12-23 [Sunrose]: You can do a Joan of Arc and wrap yourself up..
2013-12-23 [Avaz]: As the resident Smut God of Elftown, it is my duty to inform you that all cleavage pictures (in addition to topless, bottomless, and all other smut-related pics) must get sent to me. It is a requirement.
2013-12-23 [Nuktae-tal]: lol!
2014-01-30 [MyAlterEgo]: I want to be a Featured Member!
2014-01-31 [Viking]: I think Mortified Penguin should be featured, but he doesn't seem to be here anymore. I guess he decided to leave Elftown.
2014-01-31 [Mortified Penguin]: I don't blame him, I would too if nobody ever featured me like that.
2014-01-31 [Viking]: Makes sense.
2014-07-16 [wicked fae mage]: Thanks!
2014-07-20 [Viking]: *Is an Untouchable*
2014-07-20 [Sunrose]: *slobbers*
2014-07-20 [hanhepi]: Well damn it. *touches you anyway* I'd wondered how you'd never been featured, even though you're kickass and always around.
2014-07-21 [wicked fae mage]: Yes, Viking, Rhymes with Orange and Skydancer are all nigh untouchable
2014-07-21 [Sunrose]: Can you actually share this info? I mean, maybe they want to be secret untouchables (aside from Viking)...
2014-07-22 [Sunrose]: I can't be featured, it would seem like favouritism towards former crew. Besides, my house is empty :P
2014-07-22 [Stephen]: You can feature retired Crew, I checked in the forums first.
Your house may be empty but you're still an active member of Elftown and have had a lot of involvement in art. x)
2014-07-22 [Sunrose]: I'm sure that's what the forums say, that doesn't make it right or suddenly change how it may be received or perceived :P
But then people would visit me and find a void!
2014-07-22 [Stephen]: Argh. I can't debate that.
Put something interesting in your house then! Or be the mysterious void lady?
2014-07-22 [Avaz]: Here's either my ignorance about such things, or my forgetfulness: What's an Untouchable? Is that a real thing?
2014-07-22 [Sunrose]: I know, I get told that a lot..
Meh I just don't have any inspiration :(
2014-07-22 [Sunrose]: People who have expressed not wanting to be featured :)
2014-07-22 [Stephen]: Kind of makes them sound like superheroes.
2014-07-22 [Sunrose]: Or seriously ill >_>
2014-07-22 [Stephen]: Hence why no one should be want be an untouchable.
2014-07-22 [Stephen]: Condensing all my nominations up 'til now into one message and deleting the old ones so it looks less spammy. :)
- [Jace Beleren]
- [Tekkon KinKreet]
2014-07-23 [Mortified Penguin]: I'm gonna start my own Featured Member! With blackjack! And hookers!
2014-07-23 [Viking]: Mort, are you planning to feature your member?
2014-07-23 [Nuktae-tal]: haven't all those people ones that have been nominated before... so it's not really fair right?
2014-07-23 [Stephen]: @[Nuktae-tal]:
I'm not completely sure what you mean; no one currently nominated (that I know of) has won prior. Some of them have had features, but not Featured Member - they'll all separate processes.
[Viking], don't put such terrifying ideas in his head. ):
2014-07-23 [wicked fae mage]: Thanks for the noms, and also to my knowledge none of them have been featured members.
2014-07-24 [Nuktae-tal]: hm okay makes sense to me I have a terrible memory so Don't mind any silly questions from me!
2014-07-25 [wicked fae mage]: S'okay. That's why we archive them.
2014-08-11 [wicked fae mage]: Noted and thank you :D
2014-08-12 [Eyden13]: Awww, thanks :]
2014-08-12 [Mortified Penguin]: You're very welcome! :D
2014-08-13 [Stephen]: *facepalm* xD
2014-08-13 [Nuktae-tal]: So... why nominate people and what happens after nomination? I assume there is voting of some kind?
2014-08-13 [Stephen]: By being nominated a member is added to a pool of members. Once a month(ish), a member is selected by a Featured Member Boss due to some outstanding trait(s) and then is featured. :)
2014-08-13 [Viking]: Yes, there's a vote. And then the winner gets a free trip to Hawaii and subsequently sacrificed to Pele.
2014-08-13 [Stephen]: Very common occurrence.
2014-08-13 [Nuktae-tal]: I make that same mistake!
2014-08-13 [wicked fae mage]: So just nom people who are awesome and as far as you know don't break rules. They'll be interviewed and put on Mainstreet. And they'll of course be compensated with a shiny new badge!
2014-08-13 [Viking]: So just nom people who are awesome
That gave me a mental image that you probably didn't intend...
2014-08-13 [wicked fae mage]: I intended no mental image, but if you are going to nom people in that context, become a guard and take a bite out of crime :P
2014-08-28 [Sagacious Turkey]: I nominate my cute self!
*his eyes grow large and start glistening*
Oh shit, that acid is starting to hit...
2014-08-28 [Nuktae-tal]: Well I was going to nominate my friend who I got to join recently, Sheamus Finn, but he said he already was interviewed so... I got nothing.
2014-08-28 [Sagacious Turkey]: Four and a half years isn't all that recent!
2014-08-28 [Nuktae-tal]: well let's see I joined....eigh
2014-10-23 [Sagacious Turkey]: Totes lame, I been here over a decade. Oddly enough, Elftown has been in decline for just over a decade now... hmm... I'm sure it's just a coincidence/[Sunrose]'s fault.
2014-10-23 [Sunrose]: Hey!
2014-10-23 [Sagacious Turkey]: Hi! :D
2014-10-27 [Nuktae-tal]: sup?
2015-03-13 [Mortified Penguin]: I nominate [Mortified Penguin].
Not that Featured Member is even worth it anymore (or any other official Elftown page, for that matter). Especially now that Mort will be replacing all of Elftown's old, useless official pages with wikis of his own that will be more official than ever before! Want to see more art? Want more pictures? Contests? Roleplaying? Well, trust Mort! Over the next year, he'll be replacing all of Elftown with a cheap version of his own (that will be more successful and have more viewers than the originals, because he employs more effective advertising techniques). In summation, eat shit and die, I interviewed myself: Morterview.
2015-03-22 [Stephen]: I wonder what you would do, were you ever selected. :P
2015-03-24 [Mortified Penguin]: Probably politely decline. I've always been kinda shy. :/
2015-03-25 [Stephen]: Shy.
That's a great word for you. Hah. =P
2015-03-25 [Nuktae-tal]: Ahahaha shy... no.
2015-03-26 [Mortified Penguin]:
2015-03-26 [Nuktae-tal]: Blasphemy! but it is a cute little image!
2015-03-27 [Mortified Penguin]:
2015-04-08 [Nuktae-tal]: Woof!
2015-09-20 [Mortified Penguin]: Can we get a new member-of-the-
2015-09-22 [Sagacious Turkey]: I dunno, I've heard bad things about that guy.
2015-09-23 [Nuktae-tal]: yeah the featured member doesn't seem to happen... very much.
2016-04-07 [Nuktae-tal]: So when does the featured member change? It's been like months now hasn't it?
2016-04-07 [Mortified Penguin]: Let's see...
Yes. 20 months.
2016-04-07 [Nuktae-tal]: that's a really really long time....
2016-05-17 [Nuktae-tal]: I just want someone... I hate to see Elftown go stale again.
2017-08-07 [Nuktae-tal]: Anyone else at this point would be grand.
2017-09-26 [Nuktae-tal]: Or [Celltore]? anyone...
2020-08-22 [Stephen]: The next feature has been selected and will be interviewed soon. Today, hopefully..
But more features lined up would be nice.
2020-08-23 [Stephen]: You can suggest her! Sounds like a good suggestion, at that.
2021-12-28 [Sunrose]: It's not unique and creative, there are 100s of clones :P
2021-12-28 [Mortified Penguin]: Yeah, but a couple of his clones are. Especially that [Bob's Diner] one.
2021-12-28 [Mortified Penguin]: WAIT, WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT ACCOUNT?
2021-12-28 [Sunrose]: Hahaha love the panicked reaction. Seems I'm not the only one who forgot stuff here :p