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Page name: Hedda's Elftown Story [Logged in view] [RSS]
Version: 1
2008-10-29 06:28:52
Last author: Artsieladie
Owner: Artsieladie
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Hedda's Elftown Story



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Original Story By [Hedda]:



I found my world in another world



¶ -1: It was a night like any other, but it changed my life. Well, to be honest, it wasn't really a normal night. I had just lost my boyfriend and I had felt lonely for a while, but now I had decided to do something with my life. So I clicked around randomly on the Internet...

¶ -2: I found myself dreaming away into made up worlds and untold adventures, so it was not strange that I ended up on a strange site. It wasn't really anything for me, but I looked around at images and the contests a little. Then I happened to click on the Register-button and got chocked!

¶ -3: It was many many things to select from. What was this? And I could select "Big Breasted" for some reason. My mind started to wander again... But surely they look huge if I just use balloons, so is it lying then? So I felt I had to test it.

¶ -4: Then I started to search to find if there is anyone I might know on the site, but everyone seemed to be pretty far away. I send some messages and got some replies, and it was fun, but over with pretty quick. But I had put hundreds of good artists and maybe quite a few cuties too on watch after only some hours.

¶ -5: When I later returned I got more deeply involved in the wiki, which is a set of pages that we can edit together. It was amazing to realize that if I just uploaded a few reference photos and many others did the same, we soon got an extremely impressive collection. And while putting up the photos, I got to know more and more people and they started to feel like friends.

¶ -6: After some year, I realized that I now have friends in almost any part of the world and there are always some people on my MSN that are having breakfast while others are on their way to bed. I started to travel more, but now I do it more cheaply thanks to my friends, and it's so strange to think about that I came here to escape from my world, but now I know more about it and love it more than ever before.

¶ -7: So what happened to the cuties I put on watch then? Well, I'm married to one of them now, but that is another story for another time... Sign up and live your own story!


<img:http://www.elftown.com/stuff/ElftownBanner_MatchingDivDark_Div500x10.png>



Original Story By [Hedda] With Edit 'Suggestions':



I Found My World In Another World!



¶ -1: It was a night like any other, but it changed my life. Well, to be honest, it wasn't really a normal night. I had just lost my boyfriend and I had felt lonely for a while, but now I had decided to do something with my life. So I clicked around randomly on the Internet...

(Word Diff: same)

It was a night like any other, but it changed my life. Well, to be honest, it wasn't really a normal night. I had recently lost my boyfriend and I had been feeling lonely for a while, but I had decided to do something with my life. So, I clicked around randomly on the Internet...

¶ -2: I found myself dreaming away into made up worlds and untold adventures, so it was not strange that I ended up on a strange site. It wasn't really anything for me, but I looked around at images and the contests a little. Then I happened to click on the Register-button and got chocked!

(Word Diff: same)

I found myself dreaming away into made up worlds and untold adventures, so it was not unlikely that I ended up on a strange site. It wasn't really anything for me, but I looked around at images and the contests a little. Then I happened to click on the Register-button and got (shocked?)!

¶ -3: It was many many things to select from. What was this? And I could select "Big Breasted" for some reason. My mind started to wander again... But surely they look huge if I just use balloons, so is it lying then? So I felt I had to test it.

(Word Diff: mod = 6 more)

There were so many things of interest to select from, but no mile long contract! Among these, I could choose a fantasy race to describe myself. I thought a halfling maybe, or a dwarf? Other interesting fields beckoned, but my curiosity got the better of me. My new adventure into this new, mysterious place awaited!

¶ -4: Then I started to search to find if there is anyone I might know on the site, but everyone seemed to be pretty far away. I send some messages and got some replies, and it was fun, but over with pretty quick. But I had put hundreds of good artists and maybe quite a few cuties too on watch after only some hours.

(Word Diff: same)

Then I started to search to find if there was anyone I might know on the site, but everyone seemed to be pretty far away. I sent some messages and got some replies. It was fun, although over with pretty quickly, but I had put hundreds of good artists and maybe even quite a few cuties, too, on watch after only some hours.

¶ -5: When I later returned I got more deeply involved in the wiki, which is a set of pages that we can edit together. It was amazing to realize that if I just uploaded a few reference photos and many others did the same, we soon got an extremely impressive collection. And while putting up the photos, I got to know more and more people and they started to feel like friends.

(Word Diff: same)

When I later returned, I got more deeply involved in the wiki, a set of pages that my friends and I can edit together. It was amazing to realize that if I just uploaded a few, reference photos and many others did the same, we soon had an extremely impressive collection. While putting up the photos, I got to know more and more people and they started to feel like friends.

¶ -6: After some year, I realized that I now have friends in almost any part of the world and there are always some people on my MSN that are having breakfast while others are on their way to bed. I started to travel more, but now I do it more cheaply thanks to my friends, and it's so strange to think about that I came here to escape from my world, but now I know more about it and love it more than ever before.

(Word Diff: mod = 2 more with option in parenthesis plus 9)

After some year now, I realized that I have friends in almost every part of the world and there are always some people on my MSN that are having breakfast, while others are on their way to bed, [(OPTIONAL: to dream about the Elftown experiences (or adventures) of their day)]. I have started to travel more, but now I do it more cheaply, thanks to my friends, and it's so strange to think that when I came here to escape from my world, I would come to know more about it and love it more than ever before.

¶ -7: So what happened to the cuties I put on watch then? Well, I'm married to one of them now, but that is another story for another time... Sign up and live your own story!

(Word Diff: mod = 1 more)

So, what happened to the cuties I put on watch, you ask? Well, I'm married to one of them now, but that is another story for another time... Sign up and live your own story!

Editor's Comments:


Editor: [Artsieladie]
Comment: Since this is for the entrance to Elftown, there's a few more suggestions than would be usually done. This story I found, even though short, imaginative and believable, magnetic for the reader and easy to follow. Love your 'ending' that leads to the idea of a new 'beginning' as well. :)

§ 1 - Numbered the paragraphs for easier reference.

§ 2 - About the title: All words in titles are supposed to be capitalised, with the exceptions of the three articles (adjectives) 'a', 'and', and 'the'. Since we are requiring proper English in the applications, we should make sure we apply the same as we expect. The exclamation is only a matter of my personal preference.

§ 3 - ¶ -2: Assuming 'chocked' is a typo = 'shocked'?

§ 4 - ¶ -3: I do think "...but no mile long contract!" would be good to incorporate, because many people do not like the long user and licensing agreements other sites use to join them. The goal is to entice people to join, so pointing out Elftown's pluses would be an attribute for this goal.

§ 5 - ¶ -3: Perhaps the part targeting the selection of 'big-breasted', maybe shouldn't be on the entrance to Elftown? (Not that it is a bad thing to be in your story or a bad thing in the choices, but just not as part of what is the first thing that people would see and read about Elftown. We don't really want cyberers here, do we? ^ ^ The last thing you'd want to do is give this impression, even as remote as it may seem. Remember though, this is just my take, so it's not gospel. The idea inserted was just what I came up with at the time of editing to replace the sexual focus surrounding 'big breasted'.)

§ 6 - Here and there I changed a few word usages, eliminated the word 'and' as a sentence beginning, and tried to make sure that the whole story was written in the same 'tense' (past tense).

§ 7 - Feel free to make your own changes or not to my ideas/suggestions. Should you want a second editing afterward, just place it below under the section: "Original Story 'Revisited' By [Hedda]" and I'll be glad to edit that piece as well, but the second edit will only be for typos, grammar, spelling, word usage, and so forth.

§ 7 - Good job! :) <img:stuff/ThumbsUp_Wh_Mood.gif><img:stuff/dand-gif.gif>


<img:http://www.elftown.com/stuff/ElftownBanner_MatchingDivDark_Div500x10.png>



Original Story 'Revisited' By [Hedda]:




<img:http://www.elftown.com/stuff/ElftownBanner_MatchingDivDark_Div500x10.png>



Finished Story By [Hedda]:


(Can be a link to the finished piece or the finished piece placed here. It is suggested, if the piece has considerable length, it might be wisest to place it on a separate page. A finished piece would even be deserving of its own separate page.)</center>


<center><img:http://www.elftown.com/stuff/ElftownBanner_MatchingDivDark_Div500x10.png>



Additional Writing By [Hedda] - Original:



On <URL:index-4.html> in the lower left hand corner, you have under:

This is Elftown


¶ -1: Elftown is the fantasy and science fiction community for artists, writers and hangarounds. It should be easy to find other people here and to discuss whatever you like.

¶ -2: On Elftown you can get help with your drawings, publish your work for friends or everyone and meet friends for life from the entire world. You can put people, forums or interesting pages on watch, so that you don't miss anything that interests you.

Original Writing By [Hedda] With Edit 'Suggestions':


¶ -1: Elftown is the fantasy and science fiction community for artists, writers and hangarounds. It should be easy to find other people here and to discuss whatever you like.

(Word Diff: mod = 5 more)

Elftown is the fantasy and science fiction community for artists, writers, [ roleplayers ], and hangarounds. It's quite easy to find other people here to discuss whatever you like [ and make friends in the process ].

¶ -2: On Elftown you can get help with your drawings, publish your work for friends or everyone and meet friends for life from the entire world. You can put people, forums or interesting pages on watch, so that you don't miss anything that interests you.

(Word Diff: mod = 3 more)

On Elftown help is available for artists and writers. You may show your work to other members, even the world, and meet and make friends for life all around the globe. Interesting people, forums, and pages you can watch, so you don't miss anything that interests you.

Editor's Comments:


Editor: [Artsieladie]
Comment: Nothing additional to: "§ 1 - ¶ -1" and "§ 2 - ¶ -2" that follows...

§ 1 - ¶ -1: Added 'roleplayers' because roleplaying could be a good attraction as well as artists and writers, since there are many roleplayers both inside and outside of Elftown. Added 'and make friends in the process' because this can also appeal to many visitors.

§ 2 - ¶ -2: I suggest 'artists and writers' as opposed to just 'drawings' because 'artists and writers' will entice a broader scope of people. I would refrain from using: "publish your work", because Elftown is a wonderful place to show/display one's work, but Elftown doesn't really have anything to do with the 'actual' publishing of art or writings (that I'm aware of). But this is just my intake.

<img:http://www.elftown.com/stuff/ElftownBanner_MatchingDivDark_Div500x10.png>


<img:http://www.elftown.com/stuff/ET-IvyDrkLft_15.png>Related Links:
  <img:http://www.elftown.com/stuff/ET-IvyDrkLft_10.png> Editing Assistance - Elftown
  <img:http://www.elftown.com/stuff/ET-IvyDrkLft_10.png> EAE - Editors:
    <img5*0:http://www.elftown.com/stuff/ET-IvyDrkLft_10.png> [Linderel]
    <img5*0:http://www.elftown.com/stuff/ET-IvyDrkLft_10.png> [Dark Side of the Moon]
    <img5*0:http://www.elftown.com/stuff/ET-IvyDrkLft_10.png> [Artsieladie]
  <img:http://www.elftown.com/stuff/ET-IvyDrkLft_10.png> Writers Rock!
<img:http://www.elftown.com/stuff/ET-IvyDrkLft_15.png>Other Links Of Interest:
  <img:http://www.elftown.com/stuff/ET-IvyDrkLft_10.png> I Rock Elftown!
  <img:http://www.elftown.com/stuff/ET-IvyDrkLft_10.png> I Believe In Elftown!
  <img:http://www.elftown.com/stuff/ET-IvyDrkLft_10.png> I Use Elftown Because
  <img:http://www.elftown.com/stuff/ET-IvyDrkLft_10.png> Elftown Rocks!

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2008-10-29 [Artsieladie]: Ok, I hope this is helpful, [Hedda], but.... it's also part of a plan to increase awareness for the wiki, Editing Assistance - Elftown and perhaps more awareness to/for Elftown's Writers, Writers Rock!. I am also hoping to capture more writers' attention to perhaps, get involved as writers for the Elftown Creature Marathon Creature Sessions. I guess you could say that I'm hoping a little anyway, that one thing will lead to another and another and so on. I've invited my 'partners-in-crime' editors, too, [Linderel] and [Dark Side of the Moon], (jk with 'p-i-c' metaphor hehe) for it's more than likely than I have overlooked something. More pairs of eyes are better than one! :)

2008-10-29 [Dark Side of the Moon]: I'll read this as soon as I get a chance. It might be tomorrow or Thursday before I can do that though. I love editing and giving suggestions so I look forward to reading this! ;^)

2008-10-29 [Artsieladie]: *smiles* Hi, there!

I love editing and giving suggestions so I look forward to reading this! ;^)

Ooh! This is good to know! hehe Whenever you are able to is fine. I appreciate the help. *hugs* :)

2008-11-13 [Artsieladie]: I've set up two writing contests that I will propose to Council to see if they want them to be official or not. If not, I will run them privately, but I would still like a couple of additional mods on board with me for them, either way. I thought of them in part because of Hedda's story above, but also because I would like to hear the interesting stories from Elftowners, both how they came to be members here and then also some of their experiences as members here. ...And we really don't have all that many prose contests on Elftown. The two contests are: My Elftown Story and My Elftown Experience. (Maybe the 2nd one should be titled, "My Elftown Adventure"?) Anywho, I would like to use Hedda's story as an example for My Elftown Story, but I don't want to lead writers to write something sexually derogatory towards either gender. I mean, it's not like there's a choice of "big penis" as a choice to replace the "big breasted" with, so why should there be a focus on "big breasted", period, and having it on the entrance to Elftown? This depicts Elftown without class. I don't mean 'elitist'. I mean 'class'. There is a difference. Granted there are those that could care less, but for those of us that choose to be more discreet about ourselves, it's really insulting and degrading. But remember.... this is just 'my' opinion. :P

2008-11-13 [Dark Side of the Moon]: uh oh! I forgot all about this. *sigh* I'm almost finished with my children's book illustrations (I swear! There's only one left to draw and colour...) and I've been trying, trying, trying to get those done before I commit to anything else. Seeing as how this is already up on the log-in page, I guess there is nothing else to be done. I gotta admit the "big breasted" part kind of make me blink in surprise. I had no idea it was that important to anyone. Honestly, it kind of does send the wrong impression to those that may want to join the place. <img:stuff/mood14-gif.gif> But I think individual stories and experiences would make for great writing contests. If they are official contests that would, of course, leave me out as a potential mod. But if they are privately run then I believe I will have time to help.

2008-11-13 [Artsieladie]: Oh, don't worry about it, dear. Concentrate on getting your illustrating finished. I have my own little project that a lady has asked me to do some artwork for her and I am thrilled to the max! When she googled Pegasus Artwork (or something similar), my Pegasus was the first image she saw, she said. She contacted me through email and now we've worked out a deal that benefits both her and I. I'm designing her book front and back covers and I'm creating a logo for her for her stable and her own line of riding apparel. Originally, we were going to use one of my Pegasus images that I've already made, but she has a beautiful horse that I'm going to make a Pegasus image of for her. Sooooo, I'm excited about making another Pegasus! :D 

Well, I've had several people comment to me about it. It's embarrassing when you're trying to promote ET and then people come here and see "big breasted" thrust in their face. I realise many won't care, and most likely many men won't, but to some, it's just a bit more than they'd really like to see or read. There are some modest people left in this world, although they seem to be diminishing in number, however. This day and age it seems to be about putting it all out there for everyone to see, read and hear about. Nothing's private. :/

Yeah, me, too. I think it would be. Personally, I don't understand why regular members can't help mod official contests. I mean, what's the harm, really? This also would give regular members a chance to see how things are run and done officially and enable them to learn, so that they too, could possibly be part of the Crew one day. If you don't give members the chance to learn, how are they going to? Well, we'll see, because I would love to partner up with you! *hugs* :D

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