Page name: the secret cult everyone knows about [Logged in view] [RSS]
2005-06-18 02:01:49
Last author: wilde-beast
Owner: wilde-beast
# of watchers: 3
Fans: 0
D20: 20
Bookmark and Share



real name:-

the secret cult that no-one knows about but everyone else does

and welcome to the cult no-one now about, but everyone else does.
This was created because it came to my attention that there was no secret cult between footballers and cheerleaders. So i felt it was my responsibility, being an aussie who plays no sport- apart from ultimate frisbee- to make such a cult happen, and such was the birth of this wiki.


Bald Queen

Bald Queen is [wilde-beast]'s alter ego. Created one year for her bald father, for father's day, Bald Queen has been chasing after nameless men for countless years. Recognised by her mating call, which sounds oddly like "NO FRIENDSHIP, ONLY MARRIAGE", Bald Queen recently found out the cause of her thirst for marriage, she was sent by Lemon King, the almighty one, to interact with us norm's, and marry, carrying on the genetic default of baldness.
Some Original Cartoons can be seen at


Lemon King is the one true overlord who sent a message from the planet of Sorbet, to two young girls, [mustardseed] and [wilde-beast]. The two realised who was sending shivers up and down their spines and set out on a quest to tell the world about Lemonadic- the religion where Lemonking rules.

Some useful things to know about Lemonatics

1. Thursday is the official day of praise
2. If you anger Lemon King, he shall smite you with his citric acid
3. The official food of Lemonadics is sorbet- any flavour goes!!
4. So long as you say "oh my Lemon King" instead of "oh my God", there is no rigorous   praising involved
5. Sacrifices must be in vegetable form

The Head Honcho's Of this Thing

[wilde-beast]- wonderful lass who created this page, even after elftown refused to make it easy for her. Sole creator of Bald Queen, re-incarnation of Lemon King, all round nice guy
[mustardseed]- co-creator of the Uniting People Of Lemonatics Place- erin's house , main Priest for Lemonatics, Priest at most of my weddings, likes to eat children
[true dude]- reason for starting this cult. He is a cowboy who play's football and recently informed me of the non-exsistance of a cult between footballers and cheerleaders, i think he was lying


once upon a time there was a mad professor who wanted to create a wonderful king who would rule fairly and wisely over the whole world, he himself would have done it but he wasn’t that good looking, so he decided that the would make a king, not the normal way that two people very much in love make a king, but by locking himself in his lab with nothing but a plastic spoon, a bowl of grapes and some platforms with live goldfish in them, along with all the science equipment in the world
3 days later he had done it, he had created the perfect king
He was nicely rounded, silky smooth skin and a fair and wise king.
the professor introduced the townsmen to AV MAN
they thought he was wonderful, but unfortunately they were hungry, and he was tasty, so they ate him, and he was a good king while he lasted.
determined not to give up, professor return to his lab and came out some time late with the sequel to AV MAN....LEMON KING
a wise and fair ruler who doesn’t taste good, but is still tasty to look at!
and so the king ruled the fair planet of cannibals, then he created earth and all living things on it, and thus the origin of Lemonatic Religion was started

PLEASE- we need memebers so we feel popular and loved, you see, in our hearts, we are all orphans, looking for someone toto think that we are the man, so please, love us and join or wiki OR WE SHALL RELEASE THE KILLER SLOTHS ON YOU- you have been warned

--->secret members we all know about<---

Username (or number or email):


2005-04-08 [mustardseed]: comments ahoy we need to get this thing moving, cmon people where is the team spirit

2005-04-20 [Adaria_Moonlight]: wow, kinda quiet in here isn't it? how come the Lemon king isn't off smiteing people for not comming to visit?

2005-04-21 [wilde-beast]: oh he is.......they all just seem to have a protective layer he's going for all their turtle neck jumpers

2005-04-21 [mustardseed]: well he's a gracious ruler and understands the ignorate fools... why dont you join?? unless you already did then go you!!

2005-06-04 [Daladís]: I was sent here *bows down to the floor*, I heard a rumor out in the wild city about the most fair and noble lemonking... tell me, is this rumor true?

2005-06-05 [wilde-beast]: my dearest daladis- it is most certainly true, and i know i speak for lemonking when i sya that he appriciates your obvious respect for all things lemon king

2005-06-05 [Daladís]: Oh glory! I must say, I'm overwhelmed, I never thought such a wondrous thing could possible exist... I'm just afraid that I'm not a worthy praiser of the almighty Lemon king...

2005-06-06 [wilde-beast]: all those who realise that they are nimwits in comparision to the lemonking, and myself since i am the re-incarnation of the lemon king, are more than worthy to praise him and his acidness

2005-06-07 [Daladís]: So, you don't have a quest for me to prove that I'm worthy? *lies flat in the floor and kisses feet*

2005-06-07 [wilde-beast]: could keep kissing my feet....or you could try and find someone equally enthused about lemonking as we are, or just find someone easily amused by lemons

2005-06-08 [Daladís]: Then I will kiss your feets until my lips bleed and then I will go off searching for more praisers of the lemonking so you don't have to get blood on your feets and then, when my lips are healed I will start to kiss your feets again, most noble one...

2005-06-09 [wilde-beast]: your always thinking about thinking about whats best for me arent you?!?!   Thats a good thing, we would want me (lemonkings reincarnation) having to do anything human, it'd be inhuman to ask me to do so. Your in the good boks now!

2005-06-09 [Daladís]: Yes, most merciful one, thank you most merciful one *cleanes feet from saliva and continues to kiss them* Always at your service, most noble one, always prepared to praise your overwhelming beauty and grace!

2005-06-12 [wilde-beast]: beauty eh?!? grace eh?!? oh such a smooth talker are you

2005-06-17 [lagrima]: Oh finally. Daladis sent me here, but I had a hard time finding it. What all this then?

2005-06-18 [wilde-beast]: ooo- im so excited that someone was actually sent here- we should do something for you, like sacrifice a tomato or something, well, all this is just the ramblings of my friend [mustardseed] and i who, one night whilst sleeping in our firneds backyard, realised that there was no human god, only a lemon one, adn he wasnt called god, he was called lemonking, and hence the almighty lemon started useing us to tell the world about lemons adn their wonderfulness and how they are king. It wasnt always lemons though, Avman was originally King of all, but he was so delicious and tasty that he was soon eaten by all, so the mad scientist who created Avman thought he would create something less tastey

2005-06-18 [Daladís]: Yes, I am a smooth talker, but between all my smooth talking and feet kissing I've spread the word of the most holy Lemonking to my friend lagrima and as you can see, she came here! She is ready to praise! *raises hands against the sky and shouts out the last words with a fanatic grin*

2005-06-19 [wilde-beast]: being reayd to praise is always a good thing and always looked kindly upon- keep up with the converting and feet kissing and praising my good people, also with the grining at the skies

2005-06-19 [lagrima]: ay, ay, I'm your most humble servant now. except for Daladís of course... she's probably even more humble :b

2005-06-19 [Daladís]: I am... I'm the MOST humble... *continue to kisses feet and glares suspicious ar lagrima*

2005-06-20 [wilde-beast]: ahhhhh, you are both now worthy of officially being a lemonatic- i suggest joinging the members pae so we have more than we the oringinal three there so people realise how awesome lemon king really is!!

Number of comments: 22
Older comments: (Last 200) 1 .0.

Show these comments on your site

Elftown - Wiki, forums, community and friendship. Sister-site to Elfwood