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Page name: You Might be a Redneck Jedi If [Logged in view] [RSS]
2011-05-20 09:08:59
Last author: Paul Doyle
Owner: Ravenclaw
# of watchers: 23
D20: 6
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You Might Be a Redneck Jedi If...


Feel free to add your own jokes, but do keep in mind that Elftowners can be as young as 13. Try to keep it PG.






You might be a Redneck Jedi if you mow your lawn and find a band of Tuscan Raiders.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your back is hairier than your Wookiee's.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your belt buckle reads, "You'll get my lightsaber when you pry it from my cold dead hand."

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your old speeder is on blocks in the front yard.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if the bumper sticker on your speeder reads, "My Padawan kicked your honor student's ass."

You might be a Redneck Jedi if, to piss off your boyfriend, you kiss your brother. (See Return of the Jedi for reference.)

You might be a Redneck Jedi if, when your R2 dome droid blows up, you just slap some Duct Tape on him.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you regularly open your beer with your lightsaber.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you go to a jungle planet on a diplomatic mission and come back with 63 pounds of fresh meat.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you can't describe the taste of an Ewok without using the word "Chicken".

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you call Yoda "my little, green buddy."

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you can't find any grammatical errors in Yoda's sayings.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you have a beer-can opener at the end of your lightsaber.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if Wookiees are offended by your B.O.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you used your best Force repulsion skills to fend off the tornado, but the tornado still laid waste to your trailer park, anyway.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you pass gas and think it was part of the Force.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you refer to the Jedi High Council as "all ya'll".

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you distill whiskey in the evaporators.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you Force Jump by using your own farts.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your lightsaber doubles as a bug zapper.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if the only galactic beast you haven't stayed on top of for eight seconds is a rancor.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you brew your own "That's No Moon"-shine.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if the man who's trying to kill you turns out to be your long-lost father.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you can converse with Jar-Jar Binks perfectly when you’re drunk, which is often.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your house has so many robot parts lying around it resembles a junkyard.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you bulls-eye wamprats in your T-16 for fun.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you were raised by your aunt and uncle and have no idea where your parents are.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if, instead of getting a job, you join the rebellion.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your hair is often worn buzzed in the front with a short pony tail in back.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you refer to general Palpatine as ‘Pappy’.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if, when someone you don’t understand yells at your companion, instead of asking questions, you cut off his hand.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you think Jedi is short for Jebediah.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you have fantasized about your sister...more than once.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you love pod racers because it's easy to follow when hammered. (Look, another left turn!)

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you have Ewok heads mounted on your walls.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you camouflaged your speeder.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your ceremonial robes aren't complete without a blaze orange hat covered in trophy pins.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your droid regularly downloads holograms of the Bass Pro Challenge.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you activate your lightsaber by holding it near your crotch while you say, "The South will rise again."

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your translator droid is fluent in Cajun just so it can translate for you.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you think the dark side is the back of the fridge.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you refer to your mother-in-law as Jabba's sister.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if, nine months after meeting the princess of Alderon, you and your best friend are dispatched to a paternity civil case on Tatooine.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you have to hold the hatches and airlocks of your rustbucket Millenium Ford-Falcon in place with catgut and duct tape (since dental floss is unheard of).

You might be a Redneck Jedi if all you know of the political landscape comes from Red Fox News.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you and your friends are forced to move to Hoth and you declare a "Snow Day"

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you have to build an extra room to showoff your rancor head trophy.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you reunite with your missing human mama when your doting "Wookiee foster mom" shaves her body (it was human mom, all along!)

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your Gungan foster child is kept in line with a leash and a "Jar Jar Binky" pacifier, despite being near puberty.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if

You might be a Redneck Jedi if

You might be a Redneck Jedi if

You might be a Redneck Jedi if

You might be a Redneck Jedi if

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2011-05-15 [Paul Doyle]: . . . and thank you for adding the age clarification. :)

2011-05-15 [Ravenclaw]: Np

2011-05-15 [Paul Doyle]: Rather than get put-off by the watered-down version of my last post, I added something new :3 "Flowers for Algernon" is an amazing read, by the way. Classic, timeless SF.

2011-05-15 [Alexi Ice]: PD - Ok, that might have been uncalled for a bit but it was HILARIOUS! LOL

2011-05-15 [Nioniel]: Great humour is uncensored humour. :)

2011-05-15 [Balthizar]: Sometimes censorship is required. And sometimes, censorship makes something even more funny. Mystery and imagination. It does wonders.

2011-05-15 [Ravenclaw]: I just like to keep in mind that we might not all be adults. I like a good dirty joke as much as the next person. Had this not been a featured wiki where everyone could find it, I would have left it the way it was.

2011-05-16 [Avaz]: This was definitely chuckleworthy, though the Grammar Nazi in me desperately wants to edit the whole thing and fix the typos and take the comma away from after the word "if".

2011-05-16 [Ravenclaw]: Go for it. Firefox is great for spelling, but terrible for grammar.

2011-05-16 [Avaz]: Done.

2011-05-16 [Ravenclaw]: gratzi

2011-05-16 [Avaz]: De nada. :)

2011-05-16 [Sideways]: Lol, please keep it pg! God I love futile hypocrisy. Our youth are far too busy knocking each other up, doing drugs, drinking and killing each other at pandemic rates to care if a cuss word appears on a featured wiki xP

2011-05-16 [Ravenclaw]: There wasn't a curse word in that post. I've dropped acid but you don't see me pushing it on the playground.

2011-05-16 [Sideways]: Heck I didn't see the post. It's just my opinion that censorship is asinine.

2011-05-17 [Balthizar]: Censorship has its places, and uses. Featured Wiki isnt a bad place to have one.

2011-05-17 [Ravenclaw]: Thank you Balthizar. Those were my thoughts exactly.

2011-05-17 [Balthizar]: -Yeti tips hat. Goes off to scare some random tourist-

2011-05-17 [Balthizar]: -Since Red Fox died in the movies, I thought he deserved a Meme like memorial in here.

2011-05-20 [shadow of darkness]: wookie foster mom - LMAO!

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