2005-08-30 [Modnoc!]: *hugs her knees*
2005-08-30 [trinity313]: unm ok
2005-08-31 [~Nyx~]: you helped. :) lol *try to free her knees* :P
2005-08-31 [trinity313]: HOW FUCKING NICE
2005-08-31 [trinity313]: MY FUCKING FRIENDS WILL PICK POPULAR KIDS OVER ME
2005-08-31 [trinity313]: BUT YOU GET FRIEND BY HOLDING ON TO SOMEONE'S KNEESSS
2005-08-31 [lost soul 13]: I hate life so fucking much now....I am depressed again and I haven't been for a little while...My mother read my journal and I am grounded and In a LOT of trouble *nods* well just thought this would be the wiki to put something like that up.
2005-09-01 [trinity313]: she read your journal... thats what my mom did too i hate her eh, i hate my whole family so what the hell is new
2005-09-01 [Modnoc!]: *looks at you, starteled* eh
2005-09-01 [trinity313]: yeah... about that i just.... anger problems... sorry
2005-09-01 [~Nyx~]: I didn`t mean to offend you if that`s what I did... (¨,)
2005-09-01 [Modnoc!]: its ok *wraps her arms around trinity and hugs her* Is there anything I can help with?
2005-09-01 [~Nyx~]: not anymore, I`m in a happy mood now. but I`ll remember to recomend this wiki. You`re all so helpfull :)
2005-09-01 [Modnoc!]: Sorry :S I was talking to trinity.. But its kay.. eh thankyou? lmao
2005-09-01 [~Nyx~]: oops sorry :P
2005-09-01 [Modnoc!]: its kay
2005-09-01 [lost soul 13]: everyone seems so nice here.
2005-09-01 [Modnoc!]: Hey Lost :)
2005-09-01 [trinity313]: ciooooooool
2005-09-02 [lost soul 13]: hello feathered dreams ^.^
2005-09-02 [Modnoc!]: *smiles weakly as she snuggles up in blankets, waving only slightly*
2005-09-02 [lost soul 13]: awww you ok?
2005-09-02 [Modnoc!]: *shakes her head* Nah.. but Ill be fine... and you??
2005-09-02 [lost soul 13]: i'm sick..and depressed (obviously that's why i'm here)....well i hope things get ok for you. *nods*
2005-09-02 [Modnoc!]: and I hope they get better for you,*hugs you* Want to talk about why your derpessed?..
2005-09-02 [lost soul 13]: *hugs you back* well I'll send you my poems that i wrote to get my feelings out....maybe they shall explain things?
2005-09-02 [Modnoc!]: *nods gently* kay.. If you ever need someone.. and your friends arent there I mean.. Im here for yah :) ..
2005-09-02 [lost soul 13]: thank you ^.^
2005-09-02 [Modnoc!]: No worries
2005-09-02 [lost soul 13]: *smiles lightly*
2005-09-02 [Modnoc!]: Hry mind if I go to sleep for an hour?.. maybe two?
2005-09-02 [lost soul 13]: sleep all you want! sleep is good for people!
2005-09-02 [Modnoc!]: yeah.. I guess.. *has majour headache* sorry.. Take care and keep safe *hugs you* Ill talk to you later. If not in a few hours then yeah..
2005-09-02 [lost soul 13]: i shall and you too! *hugs back* bye!
2005-09-02 [trinity313]: yeah
2005-09-02 [Modnoc!]: *hugs Trinity* Hey there.. and back
2005-09-03 [trinity313]: hiya
2005-09-03 [SILLY..(BETH)]: hey
2005-09-03 [Modnoc!]: *smiles gently* hellloooo
2005-09-03 [trinity313]: oh sorry if that was awkward
2005-09-03 [Modnoc!]: ? o.o
2005-09-03 [trinity313]: i dont know just um... what?
2005-09-03 [Modnoc!]: *hugs trinity* sorry Im a bit taken over @.@ *hics*
2005-09-03 [trinity313]: O_O um *smacks you* get lost!!!
2005-09-03 [Modnoc!]: XD LMFAO XD FOFLMFFAO XD I meant my brain is taken over XD *places her hand were you smacked her* you always this edgy?
2005-09-03 [trinity313]: well towards my brother but i guess your ok
2005-09-03 [Modnoc!]: O.o;; why your bro?
2005-09-03 [trinity313]: he sucks if you knew what he did to me you would be the same
2005-09-03 [Modnoc!]: ah.. *hugs*
2005-09-03 [trinity313]: O_O
2005-09-03 [Modnoc!]: o.o; what did I do now?
2005-09-03 [trinity313]: nothing ^^
2005-09-03 [Modnoc!]: O.o
2005-09-03 [trinity313]: lol
2005-09-03 [Modnoc!]: ^^
2005-09-03 [trinity313]: ^^ yep
2005-09-03 [Modnoc!]: n.n
2005-09-03 [trinity313]: haha cool
2005-10-02 [let.it.bleed]: wow.. lol that was kinda weird.. hi im hilary
2005-10-03 [trinity313]: im brittany call me trinity
2005-10-03 [Torchwood]: hello there
2005-10-03 [let.it.bleed]: ok.. so wuts up...
2005-10-06 [trinity313]: nm u?
2005-10-06 [Torchwood]: nothing is happening here either...
2005-10-07 [trinity313]: coool
2005-10-12 [let.it.bleed]: lol we need to like make this wiki more interesting.. its getting boring... but the anti-emo wiki is interesting,, i get in so many fights im anti the anti-emo ppl :P
2005-10-12 [Torchwood]: ah i love anti-emo people.. they all have the same arguements.. heh heh heh :D
2005-10-13 [trinity313]: um cool???
2005-10-13 [Torchwood]: *eats some broccoli*
2005-10-15 [trinity313]: ... thats great *rolls eyes*
2005-10-15 [Torchwood]: it is great, i love broccoli
2005-10-15 [trinity313]: yeah me too...........
2005-10-16 [Modnoc!]: *bows gently as she walks in*
2005-10-16 [Torchwood]: ooh welcome!
2005-10-16 [Modnoc!]: Yeah.. thanks *coughs again* damnit!!! T_T
2005-10-16 [trinity313]: um whats wrong again???
2005-10-16 [Modnoc!]: nothing, other than the fact My friends might commit suice I great ^_^
2005-10-16 [Modnoc!]: just ill ^^
2005-10-16 [trinity313]: um thats great
2005-10-16 [Modnoc!]: ... sorry
2005-10-16 [trinity313]: eh you did nothing
2005-10-20 [let.it.bleed]: sorry havent been on for a while... stressful my grandpa is in the hospital
2005-10-21 [trinity313]: yeah sad
2005-10-23 [let.it.bleed]: yea.. its my 'x' boyfriends b-day today... Derek i love him so much... if we still talked i would wish him a good one but we dont talk... :(
2005-10-23 [Elegy - gone]: awww, you poor darling *hugs*
2005-10-23 [let.it.bleed]: thnks that something i really need right now...
2005-10-23 [Torchwood]: *hugs also*
2005-10-23 [trinity313]: just go say it to him
2005-10-23 [Torchwood]: yea, obviously things cant get any worse if you arent talking at the moment
2005-10-24 [let.it.bleed]: im to scared to.. if i see him somewhere i cant even face him ill just end up crying.. i already have before... especially since he is usually with his new girl friend all the time...
2005-10-25 [trinity313]: hmmm well just... forget about her!!!!! you have every right to!
2005-10-25 [let.it.bleed]: ummm u mean him...
2005-10-29 [trinity313]: um... i forgot O_O
2005-10-31 [let.it.bleed]: lol well anyways its too hard to forget HIM anyways.. i luv him plus im going snowboarding with him next weekend with like 10 ppl i hope he talks to me tho...
2005-11-21 [BarleySinger]: Want a bigger reason to be depressed? Read the wiki PeakOil and the web site it talks about ( http://www.lif
2005-11-21 [~Nyx~]: I guess that`s the price we have to pay for being so greedy in the first place.
2005-11-22 [SILLY..(BETH)]: hey i need to talk to someone
2005-11-22 [~Nyx~]: you could talk to me ^^ what is it?
2005-11-23 [SILLY..(BETH)]: i think my boyfriends gonna dump me. i love him soo much. Im only 14 but i know what love is, ive given him everything including my virginity and i cant cope with out him
2005-11-23 [~Nyx~]: Why do you think he`s going to dump you?
2005-11-24 [let.it.bleed]: ...
2005-11-24 [SILLY..(BETH)]: we says he doesnt know what he wants anymore. hes having trouble. hes grandad has cancer and its been getting him down. he wanted a break to find out if he really loved me. he said that we are so used to eachother we forget what we mean to eachother
2005-11-24 [let.it.bleed]: also breaks are sometimes good too.. this way u 2 will see how much u will miss eachother and wanna see eachother again so.. well at least thats wut happened with me and one of my boy friends... i hope everything works out for you..
2005-11-25 [~Nyx~]: well, it sounds to me that he`s having a hard time, not that he dosen`t want to be with you anymore. I agree with [BarleySinger], be patient. If he said that you`re so used to eachother that you can`t remember what you mean to eachother, it sounds like you mean alot to him still.
2005-11-25 [SILLY..(BETH)]: thanks =) i guess i will have to wait and see. gawd i hope he doesnt end thinf with me. i love him to much to just let go
2005-11-25 [~Nyx~]: Maybe he just need some space to figure things out, with he grandad being ill and all. He`ll probably need someone there for him when he needs it. ^^ don`t worry I`m sure it`ll work out for the best. :)
2005-11-25 [BarleySinger]: If he is that stressed (death is a big deal) he might be pushing you away from him out of fear (to protect himself from more pain). People really do react that way sometimes. Maybe/Maybe not. After all, he has somebody close to him about to "leave him forever". Think about it. Sometimes people push you away because they get afraid. Afraid that love will just mean more pain.
2005-11-25 [BarleySinger]: Also just remember that even if he dumps you (and yes it will suck and it will hurt). No matter how real your feelings are, life goes on. You really don't need any guy to be complete. You are complete just by being you. You were born complete, and worthwhile (even if it is hard to believe). Sometimes things don't work out. Not all relationships do. Sometime other people are just plain stupid and can't see the value in what they have, or run away from it because it is just "too real". Remember - anyone who can't see the value in "you"...and takes you for granted. Well - they have a problem. Him dumping you (though it would hurt) would be "about him" and "his life"...not you.
2005-12-19 [~RainbowBullets~]: ok
2005-12-19 [let.it.bleed]: hmmm.. i like my boyfriend a lot but i love my 'x' even more and soon it is gonna be or WAS gonna be our one year anniversary but we arent even friends anymore... =(
2005-12-24 [a vamp named spaz]: let.it.bleed i know exactly how you feel.... i moved in with my new boyfriend.. on the day that would have been a 1 year anniversary with my ex.. and i still love him, i even cry cuz i miss him time to time, and its not fare to my bf, i feel guilty for this love of my ex... and to make things wores.. my ex told me he still loves me... but i dont want to upset my bf and leave him cuz hes the nicest guy ive ever met, but im not liveing with him right now, i had to move with my mom cuz me and my bf got kicked out... but hes looking for a new place. so im away from both of them, fighting with myself, crying late at night .. and im not sure over who any more. it sucks.
2005-12-26 [let.it.bleed]: yea it does... and i dont kno wut to do.. i was looking threw a bunch of my stuff yesterday and i found a picture of him and me together and i look so happy with him the happiest i have seen myself since we broke up and now my new boyfriend who i do like a lot seems to only want sexual things from me and on the other hand me and my 'x' didnt do much of that stuff and he seemed to like me for me... and thats wut i really loved about him but now he doesnt even wanna be friends with me anymore and now the boyfriend i have now is the closest thing to love i can get right now.... </3
2005-12-27 [woundedsoul]: Thats a large part of the problem for us guys, We get so upset about the fact that you girls are able to move on to the next relationship so fast, that it makes us question if you ever felt anything for us... For I have always believed that love doesn't just go away and if it does.. then it was never real to begin with.. then the girl I have dedicated myself to, asks for space and finds someone a week later... Makes us question everything.. Love doesn't go away, but manifests itself in the form of confusion and sometimes hatred.
2005-12-27 [woundedsoul]: Too many of my female friends just continue jumping from one person to another... Do people that are this way ever find themselves? they determine their personality by the person they are at the time.. Why are we so weak as to not be able to function as a whole person without feeling the need to attach ourselves to another person? As mentioned, we were born whole.. and we will die the same, why complicate yourself? But.. this is my current way of dealing with my last breakup :D im just jaded..
2006-01-01 [T_Pop]: happy New Year!!!
2006-01-02 [SILLY..(BETH)]: hehe you too!! :)
2006-01-02 [T_Pop]: ^_^
2006-01-03 [~RainbowBullets~]: i hate new years
2006-01-03 [T_Pop]: new years is cool... you can set off fire works... or at least i do lmfao
2006-01-05 [Eloura]: Hi...
2006-01-05 [let.it.bleed]: new years is kewl u cAn go to parties and get wasted!! :D:D:D
2006-01-05 [T_Pop]: lol ya... but i prefer to set off fireworks and wake the nabers of a sleepy naberhood at 12:00 to 4:00 or when ever i run out of fireworks lmao
2006-01-06 [Eloura]: *jumps at the big hello* ummm hello. me i am my normal self but that i doubt anyone knows here lol
2006-01-06 [T_Pop]: i have no heart, brain, or soul... so i cant die and leave this would *crys* lmfao
2006-01-06 [Eloura]: Awwww don't feel sad. Be you.
2006-01-06 [let.it.bleed]: hehe lol... :P
2006-01-07 [T_Pop]: but with out death there's no point to life... and with out life theres no way to expearions death lol
2006-01-08 [Eloura]: Well you have a point there
2006-01-09 [let.it.bleed]: yea
2006-01-09 [T_Pop]: ya... i guess... its trying to understand "love" that drives me crazy
2006-01-12 [Eloura]: ok
2006-01-12 [let.it.bleed]: me too...
2006-01-12 [T_Pop]: ^_^ lol
2006-01-14 [let.it.bleed]: last night i went bowling with my boyfriend 3 of his boy friends and 2 of my girl friends... and he was all over one of my best friends i got so fucking mad and i came home and cried all night because he pratially ignored me........
2006-01-14 [T_Pop]: i see... well... im sorry to hear that... im sorry i cant provied any advice or that but all i can do is say that most guys aren't that smart when it come to relationships (yes i am a guy and thats how i know) though i have never really been in a relationship before... hhmmm... ooh well thats life lmfao
2006-01-14 [~RainbowBullets~]: um
2006-02-24 [kamikame]: wow [T_Pop] sounds just like my friend [Ralph Ellison] he knows all my depressed thoughts cause i have no one to talk to exept him and with out my friends i probably wouldve commited suicide a long time ago. even though i am slowly falling back into suicidal mode again because no one cares about me, the only boyfriend i have had fucking just screwed me and doesnt even like me just used me for sex and im to depressed to actually care anymore whether i live or die
2006-02-26 [let.it.bleed]: oh well i wudnt even give up my virginity for some guy now because im only 15 and i kno none of my relationshps will last..... ^that one i was talking bout lasted maybe 2 weeks longer now its over w/...... but w.e
2006-03-02 [T_Pop]: who do what now?? *bug eyed look on face* WHY DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE TO TYPE SO MUCH?! AAAAAAHHHHHHH!
2006-03-27 [~RainbowBullets~]: wow
2006-03-27 [T_Pop]: what??
2006-03-28 [kamikame]: breakin away from this wiki...not really depressed anymore so bye bye people
2006-03-28 [~RainbowBullets~]: um
2006-03-28 [Eloura]: *returns quietly*
2006-03-28 [~RainbowBullets~]: ok bye
2006-03-29 [T_Pop]: you know the best way to combat depression is too... fill your live with meaning less work that clouds your mind leaving you an empty shell that preforms mindless tasks for the sake of someone's amusment, and/or profet... in other words... get a job *shudders at the thought* lmao
2006-03-30 [~RainbowBullets~]: my bro just called me ugly and fat... THAT UGLY JACKASS I HOPE HE DIES!!! HES FATTER THAN 300lbs. NO LIE!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-03-30 [T_Pop]: uuum... riiiiight... well you could just say that you'll give him a cookie if he never dose it again (though if he's smart then it wont work to well) lmao
2006-03-30 [~RainbowBullets~]: lol i bet it would work knowing him
2006-03-30 [T_Pop]: there you go, COOKIES FOR ALL!!!
2006-04-02 [~RainbowBullets~]: YEAH!!
2006-04-17 [let.it.bleed]: i <3 cookies :P.... i just make myself throw up that way i can eat wut ever i want and not get too fat :P 115 pounds aint that bad right?
2006-04-18 [~RainbowBullets~]: lol
2006-04-22 [T_Pop]: um... i guess the greeks, and romens have never really been forgotten in the world have they? ~_^
2006-04-23 [~RainbowBullets~]: lol i thought it say geek
2006-04-23 [T_Pop]: um... well thats still alive and well too lmao ^_~
2006-08-20 [~RainbowBullets~]: cool
2006-08-20 [T_Pop]: lol
2006-09-03 [Danboo]: ...
2006-09-03 [T_Pop]: lol
2006-09-03 [let.it.bleed]: so.. this is fun......? :S lol
2006-09-04 [T_Pop]: um... i'm too tired to start a conversation right now... so i'll let someone else do it lmao
2006-09-04 [Danboo]: like who
2006-09-04 [Eloura]: Do you want me to?
2006-09-04 [T_Pop]: FFFFFIIIIIIIII
ok i got one... lets talk about the theary of time travile and why its a good/bad idea. (if anyone wants to start another conversation the by all means bring it up) lmao
2006-09-04 [Eloura]: Acualy this is a good conversation.
2006-09-06 [let.it.bleed]: umm no... but i love guys.. hot guys.. like emo guys.. and punk.. wut babes..
2006-09-08 [T_Pop]: ok... what dose "emo" mean?? thats got to be the 8th time in this past week i've heard it.
2006-09-08 [Eloura]: *blinks*
2006-09-08 [Winter_Alone]: Emo is like really depressed and stereotypicall
2006-09-09 [T_Pop]: i see... hhmmm... well i can agree with the mind set they have but the cutting themselves and other such things are ones i don't do lmao ^_^
2006-09-09 [let.it.bleed]: i use to cut myself... but my umm friend practically boyfriend but hes not.. made me promise to stop.. so ive been clean for prob almost a year
2006-09-09 [Torchwood]: aw well done :) That must be such a hard thing to do
2006-09-09 [T_Pop]: stopping or cutting?? i find i can't do any true harm to myself anymore its probably becouse of a few reasons but i could never really do anything like cutting myself. its something like what my friend siad. "It is foolish to tear one's hair in grief as though sorrow would be made less by baldness." lmao
2006-09-10 [let.it.bleed]: yea it was hard to stop... i was so close one night but i ended up calling him and talkin to him about it instead and it really worked hes really the only person i can talk to...
2006-09-11 [T_Pop]: i see. whats so interesting about cutting yourself?? (not trying to be rude or anything, just curios)
2006-09-11 [Torchwood]: what do you mean by interesting? (and i meant stopping - I know people who don't even want to try to stop)
2006-09-11 [Eloura]: *she watches them continue there talk*
2006-09-12 [T_Pop]: um... the dictionary defines interesting better then i could lmao
2006-09-12 [Torchwood]: haha thats not what I meant! I could go check out the dictionary if i wanted the definition! I guess I meant... interesting isn't the owrd i would use, because there is nothing interesting about it. It's simple. I think I thought you meant what's the appeal? If that makes any sence? HAHA oh dear..
2006-09-15 [T_Pop]: do wha?? now i'm confused... i'll have to start from the begining then...
Hi I'm T_Pop lol
2006-09-15 [Torchwood]: hehe HELLO!
2006-09-15 [Eloura]: HELLO!
2006-09-15 [let.it.bleed]: its not interesting.. the point of doing it is because the pain you feel makes u forget everything else goin wrong in your life at that point and it just feels better then be depressed i guess... but im not even depressed anymore even tho i think i might be bipolar cuz my mood changes a lot up and down like a rollercoaster.
2006-09-16 [T_Pop]: hhmmm... i, guess thats true that it MIGHT help... but to tell the truth i still don't get it. i guess i deal with my depresion differently then others (wich might explain why i'm so messed up) see i don't hurt myself or others (for i find i feal bad latter on) no, when i'm depressed i fall back into my mind. the thing is that i've gotten so used to it that my body will continue to function on varios tasks while i'm doing it so hardly anyone can tell when i'm doing it any more. the problem with this is that at times i miss something in reality (like in school or in conversations) and i whind up in truble... another problem with it is that my mind as gotten so used to makeing the "worlds" i fall back into so realistic that at times i can nither distiguish from the two, nor tell if my memories are dreams or real. the final problem is that sense the "worlds" in my head are so real everything from phisics, personalitys of the people in it, and even pain itself are all in it. so at times i find that i get depressed in my dreams along with reality lmao (thats one of the big reasons why i'm so messed up) ^_^
2007-07-18 [Eloura]: *walks in * Is anyone here?
2007-09-15 [Danboo]: i am
2007-09-17 [Eloura]: Hi.
2007-09-18 [Danboo]: hey
2007-09-18 [Eloura]: Hi
2007-09-18 [Danboo]: how are you
2007-09-19 [Eloura]: alive.
2007-09-21 [Danboo]: same, unfortunately
2007-09-21 [Eloura]: sadly it's agreed..
2007-09-29 [Danboo]: though it not from the lack of try
2007-10-01 [Eloura]: Aye....
2007-11-12 [BarleySinger]: I am tired of being in constant physical pain with no end in sight, and nothing else likely to happen other than a long and lingering very isolated existence in slowly increasing pain as I age. If it was not for the fact that my wife and child need me to stay alive, I would top myself. I am tired of the pain and exhaustion and isolation.
These days when I go to the dentist (my teeth are now also rotting) I can't use the shots (local anaesthesia) any more as they make me very ill and they do not work at all anyway..so I have to get it all done without any pain control. Just lie back in the dentist chair and try and "go away" mentally. And yes, it does hurt. I was in untreated pain for too long and have "central sensitisation" now. Everything hurts. Breathing hurts. A couple of weeks ago I had a "pulpation" done, which is the first and rather nasty part of a root canal where they run a metal rod through the center of the living tooth and kill the nerve...all done without anaesthesia. FUn fun fun. I used to have friends (sort of) and I was a musician with fans, and had a good career in computer (top of my field). Now all I can do is drag my body around to fix a bit of food for the family, do a bit of house work as I can, and try to hope that some day it will be better. I do not believe that it honestly will better any more. Just more pain. My only remaining goal in life, other than keeping my wife alive is to get my daughter to adulthood as a healthy human being who knows that she is loved. It is hard to do that when you can't even manage to play with your kid, and she has no friends because OUR illness isolates her from the world as well.