[Just another heartache on my lips.]'s diary

781533  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-04-21
Written: (5533 days ago)

*smiles brightly*I got to come home early!
You wanna know whyyyy? *giggles*
I got really sick during second block. :3
Started trembling and sweating while I felt as if my blood had ran cold, had awful cramps that made me wanna cry...
And when lunch started, I went with Stacy to get something to eat, and by then, my vision got blurry and my knees were shaking and I felt faint. Also felt like I was going to throw up.
So, afterwards, I called my dad to pick me up.
Which he did.
So, now I'm here...

781048  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-04-21
Written: (5534 days ago)

Dan is with someone!
Should be happy for him, I guess...
But god, I wanna stop falling for people.
Fuck you all and good bye. <3

781043  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-04-20
Written: (5534 days ago)

I feel like cutting again.
Eh, stupid temptation.
Stupid emoness. *stabs it* oo;
Having more thoughts of suicide.
And now I feel like crying.
And I was having such a good day, too. XD

780921  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-04-20
Written: (5534 days ago)

Ashes, ashes, we all fall down!

*giggles*Eh, hyper. Listening to 80's music. Hell yeah, it's gangsta. X3

Some of them want to use you, some of them want to be used by you. Some of them want to abuse you, some of them want to be abused.

Nummeh. Kinky. XD

Not much homework for me today! :3 Stacy helped me with my Spanish homework during third, so now all I have to do is my history homework. And reading. But I can do that. Though, sadly, we have an essay to work on tomorrow for third. ><

Love shack, baby!

That song makes me giggle. X3

I did good on my introduction paragraph for resurrection as a theme. :3 I'm sho happy!

Oh, lots of projects for English to work on though. Fudge.

And...I'm making a wishlist. XD

Stephy's Wishlist.
*More music for my MP3 player.
*More manga.
*Different colored eyeliner and nail polish.
*Stuffed animals.
*Anime DVD's
*Trip to Italy.
*A cat.
*A job.
*Less stress.

Yeah. >>; I'm odd. Well, off to finish my work for fourth period. Ciao!
780271  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-04-19
Written: (5535 days ago)
779817  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-04-19
Written: (5536 days ago)

Who's the girl behind the mask of "happiness"? <3

It's Stephanie.
She's the girl behind the mask.
Oh, what a pathetic girl. <3

Baby, at least I don't need love...

Steph, is a fucking idiot. Here's a song fit for her. </3

Simple Together by Alanis Morissette.

You've been my golden best friend
Now with post-demise at hand
Can't go to you for consolation
Cause we're off limits during this transition
This grief overwhelms me
It burns in my stomach
And i can't stop bumping into things
I thought we'd be simple together
I thought we'd be happy together
Thought we'd be limitless together
I thought we'd be precious together
But i was sadly mistaken
You've been my soulmate and mentor
I remembered you the moment i met you
With you i knew god's face was handsome
With you i suffered an expansion
This loss is numbing me
It pierces my chest
And i can't stop dropping everything
I thought we'd be sexy together
Thought we'd be evolving together
I thought we'd have children together
I thought we'd be family together
But i was sadly mistaken
If i had a bill for all the philosophies i shared
If i had a penny for all the possibilities i presented
If i had a dime for every hand thrown up in the air
My wealth would render this no less severe
I thought we'd be genius together
I thought we'd be healing together
I thought we'd be growing together
Thought we'd be adventurous togheter
But i was sadly mistaken
Thought we'd be exploring together
Thought we'd be inspired together
I thought we'd be flying together
Thought we'd be on fire together
But i was sadly mistaken
779789  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-04-18
Written: (5536 days ago)
Next in thread: 780042

I think I'm in love...

With 80's music! :D

Feeling utterly exhausted right now.
Chyeah. Blood loss and not getting enough sleep probably does that to people.
Stupid Emo Steph. -.-
Oh, one more thing...
I'm getting glasses! :3
I look even more ugly with them. XD
Ah well...
Now I'm off to ignore the pain in my left arm and right leg due to my stupidity last night...
And try to get music into my mp3 player.
779320  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-04-18
Written: (5537 days ago)

Wonderful HP fanfiction that I'm reading. Here's a quote. <3

Frustration and self-loathing had Harry close to tears, but Draco would not take back the ring. Fingers numb from cold and desperation, the band slipped free to land soundlessly in the snow.

“Harry, listen. Do you not understand the meaning of the words ‘I love you’?”

Blank green eyes stared back at him. Draco sighed and slid the scarf from around his neck, tucking it between Harry’s head and the snow.

“Alright, listen up scar-head, and I’ll define it for you. It means that even though you may think you’re stupid and worthless and all that utter rubbish, to me you’re important for some strange reason. I guess you could say you’re precious to me, maybe even so much as vital. It means that as much as you cry or run away or break down, that I’m still going to be there to catch you, and help pick up the pieces again. It means that even when you feel like being a complete prat, or you want to punch me in the nose, I’ll just hold you down and kiss you until you realize just what a git you actually were and apologize properly. It means that if you do, in fact, decide you don’t want this,” Here he grabbed the fallen ring back up, along with a handful of snow, “Then you’ll probably need to tie me up, stuff me in a bag and chuck me into the Lake to ever be rid of me.”

Harry ♥ Draco. Squee.

Bit of a warning: Harry is a bit messed up in the head after he's raped in the first chapter. But I ♥ it oh so much. Especially all the cute moments. <3


779203  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-04-17
Written: (5537 days ago)

Steph is such a pathetic wench. <3

Heart broken...

Hee. Glazed donut, mango juice and Prozac don't go well. :3
I'm tired of this teenage heartache shit. Teenage love isn't real. Damnit, it isn't. Maybe if you're older than sixteen, but for the rest of us, I doubt it. Love for a friend, maybe. Love for family, of course. Love for someone in that way? Noooo. Love fades as fast as it comes. ^^

Argh. Spring Break SUCKED. So dull. Didn't get enough sleep. And meh. Ah well. Looking forward to summer, though. :D

Might paint my room turquoise.
Might go on a road trip.
Might get $500 for my birthday.
Might get three colors in my hair along with blonde.
Might go to Knotts Berry Farm with Stacy.
Might start wearing makeup. xD

Lots of might. oo;


Thinking of sending Dan a card for his birthday. ^^ Or something of the like. He's too glam. :3

Well, in computers. So yeah. Having an eye exam tomorrow, no homework today, though! ^^ So, whatever bitches.

I'm out.

Love to Shelby,Lexy, Sana, Blaise and Nicole. <3

778803  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-04-17
Written: (5537 days ago)

oo; Essay for H. English. Saving it here incase I need to change it. XD

Stephanie Solis
Block 1
April 17, 2006

A Tale of Two Cities

            In the novel, "A Tale of Two Cities" by Charles Dickens, the author develops two different perspectives for not only the French working class, but also for the aristocrats during the first and second half of the novel. Charles Dickens uses the French Revolution to clearly express the different aspects of the two opposing classes. That being said, the novel offers many metaphors to clearly expose both of the different sides of each class. With the help of said metaphors, it allows the book to foreshadow how these two different social classes are going to react to the outbreak of Revolution among the streets of France. And because of this, the author clearly expresses, that even though these two classes start off quite differently, by the end of the novel they both appear to have gained more power, or to have lost all of what they once had.

       The French working class, in the first half of the novel, tend to be seen as hardworking people who are suffering under the hands of the aristocrats. And because of their suffering, the feelings of revenge are beginning to spill over. This assumption can easily be made with the spilling of wine on the streets. The wine brings out the primitive nature of the working class; their subtle thirst for blood and revenge becoming more apparent to the reader. The spilling of wine represents the blood of the aristocrats, and the actions of the peasants show how much their oppression, by the hands of the aristocrats, have left them lusting over revenge, to allow their most primitive side to get the best of them and drown the aristocrats in their own blood. Yet, these actions do not occur until the second half of the novel, thus continuing to leave the French working class timid and fearful of the aristocracy. Though, that is not so in the second half of the novel. Revolts flood through the streets of France, all lead by the French working class. These rebellions against the aristocrats are filled with the thirst of noble blood. The French working class goes from being timid and fearful of the aristocracy, to ruthless and vengeful towards them. 

    The French aristocracy, on the other hand, are portrayed as to only be concerned with their own well being, along with being quite harsh and unjust during the first half of the novel. An example of this can be seen when the Monseigneur, in chapter seven of the second book, is enjoying his chocolate, which is being served by four of his men. Monseigneur seems to have a ridiculous state of mind by thinking that if his chocolate were dared served by only two of the four men, he might as well die. This little statement goes to show that many of the aristocrats tended to be quite used to their way of life, always getting what they wanted, if not more. Yet, after the death of the Marquis, and the burning down of his home, the second half of the novel offered another sort of metaphor: the stone figure caught between a storm of flames. Such a metaphor can only express that the end of the aristocrats will not just stop in the world of the living, but continue a life of torture and suffering in the deepest pits of hell. The ruthless behavior of some, not all, of the aristocrats greatly differs by the time the second half of the novel is put into play. The aristocrats are no longer living a comfortable lifestyle, but suffering in jails, being killed, and tortured, all by the people they once oppressed.

     “A tale of two cities” by Charles Dickens shows an example as to how two completely different people, in this case social classes, switch their roles in society, for better or for worse. The French working class, first timid, fearful, off into the shadows change rapidly during the revolution. They become strong, ruthless, cunning, yet very bloodthirsty. Yet, the aristocrats are no longer cunning, powerful, and haughty, they have traded places with the lower-class men and women. That being said, Charles Dickens perspective on the French Revolution and the two classes caught between it all, intentionally or not, are a bit varied. At times he’s on the side of the working class, but all it takes is a blink of an eye, and he somehow appears to be on the side of the aristocracy. But, with the use of metaphors, it is clear that he has no side, but is merely showing the consequences for the two social classes during French Revolution in his own perspective.
778329  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-04-16
Written: (5538 days ago)

First orgasm, bitches. <3

This song makes me giggle. :D

First Orgasm by the Dreseden Dolls.

it is a thursday
I get up early
it is a challenge
i'm usually lazy

I make some coffee
I eat some rice chex
and then I sit down
to check my inbox

I only read a word or two
I stare across the street and see the churches and the blue

the first orgasm of the morning
is cold and hard as hell
there won't be any second coming
as far as I can tell

I arch my back cause
i'm very close now
it's very cold here
by the window

there are some school kids
yelling and running
I barely notice
that I am cumming

the first orgasm of the morning
is like a fire drill
it's nice to have a little warning
but not enjoyable

I am too busy to have friends
a lover would just complicate my plans
so I will never look for love again
I'm taking matters into my own hands

I think I could last at least a week without someone to hold me
I think I could last at least a week without someone to hold me
won't you hold me?

778323  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-04-16
Written: (5538 days ago)

Baby, you're just another heartache on my lips. ♥

778123  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-04-15
Written: (5539 days ago)

Couldn't sleep last night. >.<
Think I only got two hours of sleep. oo;
Besides being nosy and listening to the neighbors argue...
I couldn't sleep. >.<
I was too afraid of laying in bed just thinking. @.@
I'm so pathetic. xD
Now I'm off to see The Wild.
Bye, biatches.
And Stacy, if you see this, I'm sorry about the cafe thing! >.<
Maybe we can go to the one in Maywood next time. <3

777926  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-04-15
Written: (5539 days ago)

Love, I think I'm falling again.
He's always on my mind.
His voice is uber nice.
He's such a hopeless romantic.
He adores children.
Love, I think I'm falling again.
He's almost done with high school.
He isn't a stranger to sex.
He makes me laugh all the time.
Love, you're scaring me.

777821  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-04-14
Written: (5540 days ago)

DAN IS BACK! ;-; God, I missed him so much.
He's so sweet and glam. <3
But, I think I'm falling for him. *whimpers*</3

777817  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-04-14
Written: (5540 days ago)

Changed my name. :D
Fear teh Stephachu. X3
777374  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-04-14
Written: (5541 days ago)

Dan is back from Europe! <3
Now I just have to wait for my Shelby X3
 The logged in version 

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