[Just another heartache on my lips.]'s diary

784186  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-04-26
Written: (5222 days ago)

Chyeah. Disneyland fucking rocked. With an extra side of ohmygawd. :3

I got myself a Winnie the Pooh plushie and something for Shelby. <3 Gawd. That place costs too much.>.< So I couldn't get anything for Stacy, Tyler, Diane, or Jeanette. </3 I'll make it up to them. Especially Tyler and Stacy. <3

Though, I think Splashdown made me even more sick. @.@ I officially have a cold. And that damn ride caused me and my brother to become drenched. Likeohmygawdlotsandlots. XD Looked like I took a shower with my clothes on. Oo; And Peter looked like a penguin when he was walking. XD Fun, fun.

Mom and dad got on that Roger Rabbit ride on their own. I took all my siblings with me. XD Got dizzy. @.@ Lines tended to be less than half an hour. :3 But Disney's Mexican food SUCKED.>.< Icky, icky.

We went on Astro Blaster! Mother kicked all our arses. XD I was in...fourth place? >>; Chyeah. I sucked. But it was fun. XD

We went on Space Mountain and took Matthew with us. He liked it. X3 Indiana Jones was cool, too. >>;

Back to the Roger Rabbit thing: Almost had a heart attack. Thought I lost my camera. Scary. @.@ And, when my parents let my brother and sister play in some Tarzan jungle thingy, we couldn't find them. Dorks got out the wrong way and went back to where the stroller was.@.@ Chyeah. Freaked us out.>.<

Lots of randomness and such. :3

Got home at around nine. Even though we had planned on getting home at eight. There was a parade that kind of blocked the way out of the park. Well, more like ebil tourists.-.- Who think they own the fucking park.>.< So, my family and I ended up doing the same things they did to us.>> << Along with us saying, "Like, ohmygawd.">>;;; Yeah, we all had too much soda. XD And we were very annoyed. >>;

Anyways. School was dull. Missed alot, though. >< Ah well. I'll find a way to make everything up.>>;

Oh! I got the papers and such for the trip to Italy and Greece. X3 Just need my parents to sign and stuff. >>; Make it official. xD

Well. Learning HTML in computers.-.- Fun. So, I'm off. Ciao. <3

783133  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-04-24
Written: (5224 days ago)

So, like yeah. My home computer is being, like, such a drag. Like, ohmygawd. Stupid ghetto thing, needs to like, DIE. *giggles*

...This is what not eating does to you. o.o I ate a bit yesterday, but I felt sick and couldn't eat anymore. Parents made me eat more, though...seeing as I hadn't eaten all day yesterday. >>; Too sick and bitchy. >:3

Argh. Another guy claims that they "like" me. I dunno. I don't want to think about him too much. Or teenage relationships, either. If I do, I'll just end up tricking myself that I do like them, and after a while, I'll end up realizing that I don't really like them. In that way. >.< I believe that's what happened with whatshisface. Damn teenage years. I hate you. D:

*boogies!* My parents gave me their 95% yes on me going to Italy and Greece next year! ^^ The other 5% being that something could happen which will prevent me from going. But! I'll try not to think so much about it.

...You know which band I hate know? Green Day. Gahhh. They're getting on my nerves. >< I'm all 80's right now. And powerpop, new wave, pop punk. Fuck yeah. Anything that you can dance too! X3

Uh, yeah. May not be on tomorrow. Disneyland, bitches. Hopefully I can manage to buy a few things. Not for me, though. Just for Shelby, Stacy, and Tyler. And if I have enough money, for Jeanette and Diane, too. <3 Oh, and Chris and Bird. XD ...As you can tell, I won't have enough money.-.- *sighs*

Dan is ignoring me. XD Ah, goes to show how much men tend to be dogs. :3 I'm starring at girls alot. As of late. Shmexy. >>; But! Moving on. XD

Well, I'm off. Don't want to be on. That, and I have classwork to do. Ugh, stressed. Have lots and lots of work to do for school. >< Ah well. Adios.

Love you, Shelby!
My hawt wife. :3
*molests*>>;
Hee. Non-lesbian porn. XD


782263  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-04-23
Written: (5225 days ago)

Long Way To Happy by P!NK



One night to you
Lasted six weeks for me
Just a bitter little pill now
Just to try to go to sleep
No more waking up to innocence
Say hello to hesitance
To everyone I meet
Thanks to you years ago
I guess I'll never know
What love means to me but oh
I'll keep on rolling down this road
But I've got a bad, bad feeling

It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy

Left my childhood behind
In a roll away bed
Everything was so damn simple
Now I'm losing my head
Trying to cover up the damage
And pad out all the bruises
Do you know I had it
So it didn't hurt to lose it
Didn't hurt to lose it
No but oh
I'll keep on rolling down this road
But I've got a bad, bad feeling

It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
781533  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-04-21
Written: (5227 days ago)

*smiles brightly*I got to come home early!
You wanna know whyyyy? *giggles*
I got really sick during second block. :3
Started trembling and sweating while I felt as if my blood had ran cold, had awful cramps that made me wanna cry...
And when lunch started, I went with Stacy to get something to eat, and by then, my vision got blurry and my knees were shaking and I felt faint. Also felt like I was going to throw up.
So, afterwards, I called my dad to pick me up.
Which he did.
So, now I'm here...

781048  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-04-21
Written: (5227 days ago)

Dan is with someone!
Should be happy for him, I guess...
But god, I wanna stop falling for people.
Fuck you all and good bye. <3

781043  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-04-20
Written: (5227 days ago)

I feel like cutting again.
Eh, stupid temptation.
Stupid emoness. *stabs it* oo;
Having more thoughts of suicide.
And now I feel like crying.
And I was having such a good day, too. XD

780921  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-04-20
Written: (5228 days ago)

Ashes, ashes, we all fall down!

*giggles*Eh, hyper. Listening to 80's music. Hell yeah, it's gangsta. X3

Some of them want to use you, some of them want to be used by you. Some of them want to abuse you, some of them want to be abused.

Nummeh. Kinky. XD

Not much homework for me today! :3 Stacy helped me with my Spanish homework during third, so now all I have to do is my history homework. And reading. But I can do that. Though, sadly, we have an essay to work on tomorrow for third. ><

Love shack, baby!



That song makes me giggle. X3

I did good on my introduction paragraph for resurrection as a theme. :3 I'm sho happy!

Oh, lots of projects for English to work on though. Fudge.

And...I'm making a wishlist. XD

Stephy's Wishlist.
*Shelby.
*Dan.
*More music for my MP3 player.
*More manga.
*Different colored eyeliner and nail polish.
*Stuffed animals.
*Anime DVD's
*Trip to Italy.
*Money.
*Clothes.
*A cat.
*A job.
*Less stress.


Yeah. >>; I'm odd. Well, off to finish my work for fourth period. Ciao!
780271  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-04-19
Written: (5229 days ago)
779817  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-04-19
Written: (5229 days ago)

Who's the girl behind the mask of "happiness"? <3



Why!
It's Stephanie.
She's the girl behind the mask.
Oh, what a pathetic girl. <3



Baby, at least I don't need love...


Steph, is a fucking idiot. Here's a song fit for her. </3



Simple Together by Alanis Morissette.



You've been my golden best friend
Now with post-demise at hand
Can't go to you for consolation
Cause we're off limits during this transition
This grief overwhelms me
It burns in my stomach
And i can't stop bumping into things
I thought we'd be simple together
I thought we'd be happy together
Thought we'd be limitless together
I thought we'd be precious together
But i was sadly mistaken
You've been my soulmate and mentor
I remembered you the moment i met you
With you i knew god's face was handsome
With you i suffered an expansion
This loss is numbing me
It pierces my chest
And i can't stop dropping everything
I thought we'd be sexy together
Thought we'd be evolving together
I thought we'd have children together
I thought we'd be family together
But i was sadly mistaken
If i had a bill for all the philosophies i shared
If i had a penny for all the possibilities i presented
If i had a dime for every hand thrown up in the air
My wealth would render this no less severe
I thought we'd be genius together
I thought we'd be healing together
I thought we'd be growing together
Thought we'd be adventurous togheter
But i was sadly mistaken
Thought we'd be exploring together
Thought we'd be inspired together
I thought we'd be flying together
Thought we'd be on fire together
But i was sadly mistaken
779789  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-04-18
Written: (5230 days ago)
Next in thread: 780042

I think I'm in love...

With 80's music! :D


Feeling utterly exhausted right now.
Chyeah. Blood loss and not getting enough sleep probably does that to people.
Stupid Emo Steph. -.-
Oh, one more thing...
I'm getting glasses! :3
I look even more ugly with them. XD
Ah well...
Now I'm off to ignore the pain in my left arm and right leg due to my stupidity last night...
And try to get music into my mp3 player.
Ciao.
779320  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-04-18
Written: (5230 days ago)

Wonderful HP fanfiction that I'm reading. Here's a quote. <3



Frustration and self-loathing had Harry close to tears, but Draco would not take back the ring. Fingers numb from cold and desperation, the band slipped free to land soundlessly in the snow.

“Harry, listen. Do you not understand the meaning of the words ‘I love you’?”

Blank green eyes stared back at him. Draco sighed and slid the scarf from around his neck, tucking it between Harry’s head and the snow.

“Alright, listen up scar-head, and I’ll define it for you. It means that even though you may think you’re stupid and worthless and all that utter rubbish, to me you’re important for some strange reason. I guess you could say you’re precious to me, maybe even so much as vital. It means that as much as you cry or run away or break down, that I’m still going to be there to catch you, and help pick up the pieces again. It means that even when you feel like being a complete prat, or you want to punch me in the nose, I’ll just hold you down and kiss you until you realize just what a git you actually were and apologize properly. It means that if you do, in fact, decide you don’t want this,” Here he grabbed the fallen ring back up, along with a handful of snow, “Then you’ll probably need to tie me up, stuff me in a bag and chuck me into the Lake to ever be rid of me.”

Harry ♥ Draco. Squee.



Bit of a warning: Harry is a bit messed up in the head after he's raped in the first chapter. But I ♥ it oh so much. Especially all the cute moments. <3


http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1942098/1/





779203  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-04-17
Written: (5231 days ago)

Steph is such a pathetic wench. <3



Whore.
Loser.
Idiot.
Lost.
Lonely.
Confused.
Ill.
Heart broken...


Hee. Glazed donut, mango juice and Prozac don't go well. :3
I'm tired of this teenage heartache shit. Teenage love isn't real. Damnit, it isn't. Maybe if you're older than sixteen, but for the rest of us, I doubt it. Love for a friend, maybe. Love for family, of course. Love for someone in that way? Noooo. Love fades as fast as it comes. ^^

Argh. Spring Break SUCKED. So dull. Didn't get enough sleep. And meh. Ah well. Looking forward to summer, though. :D

Lookie:
Might paint my room turquoise.
Might go on a road trip.
Might get $500 for my birthday.
Might get three colors in my hair along with blonde.
Might go to Knotts Berry Farm with Stacy.
Might start wearing makeup. xD

Lots of might. oo;

Haaa.

Thinking of sending Dan a card for his birthday. ^^ Or something of the like. He's too glam. :3

Well, in computers. So yeah. Having an eye exam tomorrow, no homework today, though! ^^ So, whatever bitches.

I'm out.

Love to Shelby,Lexy, Sana, Blaise and Nicole. <3

778803  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-04-17
Written: (5231 days ago)

oo; Essay for H. English. Saving it here incase I need to change it. XD



Stephanie Solis
Block 1
April 17, 2006



A Tale of Two Cities



            In the novel, "A Tale of Two Cities" by Charles Dickens, the author develops two different perspectives for not only the French working class, but also for the aristocrats during the first and second half of the novel. Charles Dickens uses the French Revolution to clearly express the different aspects of the two opposing classes. That being said, the novel offers many metaphors to clearly expose both of the different sides of each class. With the help of said metaphors, it allows the book to foreshadow how these two different social classes are going to react to the outbreak of Revolution among the streets of France. And because of this, the author clearly expresses, that even though these two classes start off quite differently, by the end of the novel they both appear to have gained more power, or to have lost all of what they once had.

       The French working class, in the first half of the novel, tend to be seen as hardworking people who are suffering under the hands of the aristocrats. And because of their suffering, the feelings of revenge are beginning to spill over. This assumption can easily be made with the spilling of wine on the streets. The wine brings out the primitive nature of the working class; their subtle thirst for blood and revenge becoming more apparent to the reader. The spilling of wine represents the blood of the aristocrats, and the actions of the peasants show how much their oppression, by the hands of the aristocrats, have left them lusting over revenge, to allow their most primitive side to get the best of them and drown the aristocrats in their own blood. Yet, these actions do not occur until the second half of the novel, thus continuing to leave the French working class timid and fearful of the aristocracy. Though, that is not so in the second half of the novel. Revolts flood through the streets of France, all lead by the French working class. These rebellions against the aristocrats are filled with the thirst of noble blood. The French working class goes from being timid and fearful of the aristocracy, to ruthless and vengeful towards them. 

    The French aristocracy, on the other hand, are portrayed as to only be concerned with their own well being, along with being quite harsh and unjust during the first half of the novel. An example of this can be seen when the Monseigneur, in chapter seven of the second book, is enjoying his chocolate, which is being served by four of his men. Monseigneur seems to have a ridiculous state of mind by thinking that if his chocolate were dared served by only two of the four men, he might as well die. This little statement goes to show that many of the aristocrats tended to be quite used to their way of life, always getting what they wanted, if not more. Yet, after the death of the Marquis, and the burning down of his home, the second half of the novel offered another sort of metaphor: the stone figure caught between a storm of flames. Such a metaphor can only express that the end of the aristocrats will not just stop in the world of the living, but continue a life of torture and suffering in the deepest pits of hell. The ruthless behavior of some, not all, of the aristocrats greatly differs by the time the second half of the novel is put into play. The aristocrats are no longer living a comfortable lifestyle, but suffering in jails, being killed, and tortured, all by the people they once oppressed.

     “A tale of two cities” by Charles Dickens shows an example as to how two completely different people, in this case social classes, switch their roles in society, for better or for worse. The French working class, first timid, fearful, off into the shadows change rapidly during the revolution. They become strong, ruthless, cunning, yet very bloodthirsty. Yet, the aristocrats are no longer cunning, powerful, and haughty, they have traded places with the lower-class men and women. That being said, Charles Dickens perspective on the French Revolution and the two classes caught between it all, intentionally or not, are a bit varied. At times he’s on the side of the working class, but all it takes is a blink of an eye, and he somehow appears to be on the side of the aristocracy. But, with the use of metaphors, it is clear that he has no side, but is merely showing the consequences for the two social classes during French Revolution in his own perspective.
778329  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-04-16
Written: (5232 days ago)

First orgasm, bitches. <3



This song makes me giggle. :D


First Orgasm by the Dreseden Dolls.


it is a thursday
I get up early
it is a challenge
i'm usually lazy


I make some coffee
I eat some rice chex
and then I sit down
to check my inbox


I only read a word or two
I stare across the street and see the churches and the blue


the first orgasm of the morning
is cold and hard as hell
there won't be any second coming
as far as I can tell


I arch my back cause
i'm very close now
it's very cold here
by the window


there are some school kids
yelling and running
I barely notice
that I am cumming


the first orgasm of the morning
is like a fire drill
it's nice to have a little warning
but not enjoyable


I am too busy to have friends
a lover would just complicate my plans
so I will never look for love again
I'm taking matters into my own hands


I think I could last at least a week without someone to hold me
I think I could last at least a week without someone to hold me
won't you hold me?

778323  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-04-16
Written: (5232 days ago)

Baby, you're just another heartache on my lips. ♥

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