[ACCOUNT DELETED.]'s diary

698395  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-11-14
Written: (5252 days ago)

Your element is Water: Understanding, intelligent, quiet and calm. You know who you are and no one can change that. Usually quiet but only because your listening, don't let anyone think you haven't got an opinion! Your not quiet because your shy or sad, your usually quiet because you are thinking. Your answers are well planned and helpful so people generally seek your advice. Your the perfect balance between solitary and outgoing. But sometimes you need a little time to yourself to sort out your emotions and figure things out. You understand the phrase 'sticks and stone' and rarely let things get to you. What's that important for you to have to get so upset over? You know what you want out of life but are simply taking your time and enjoying things. To you your life is fine as it is, you can always change things later if your not happy.

682951  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-10-16
Written: (5281 days ago)

Someone Else, Somewhere Else, Something Else.

Sitting on the sand, she feels tendrils of hair whipping gently at the sides of her face, in her eyes as she stares out to sea. With a small, barely audible sigh, she tucks the offending hair behind her ear and leans back into the dune, tugging the collar of her coat further up, sheilding herself from the elements.
Gray eyes narrow as she watches a small child running towards the sea, parentless.
Suddenly, a shout, and a mother comes dashing across, scooping the child up in her arms, cooing to the babe softly.
A wry grin twists plain features as the girl remembers running away from her mother.
Time slips away, the tide getting closer and closer to her spot in the sheltering dunes. The girl doesn't move, leaning back into the firm sand with her arms folded over her chest for warmth, chin tucked into the scarf wound around her neck, legs pulled towards her chest to keep a firm stand, she continues to sit still, slowly losing feeling in her fingers and toes. "Miss?"
Looking poilitely at the old man, she raises her eyesbrows slightly. "You alright? You've been sittin' here for a while."
A small smile, and; "I'm alright, thank you."
He looks unsure, craggy face confused and worried. She smiles warmly, sadly. "I'm alright, Sir. I'm thinking."
"I see...well...have a nice day."
"You too."
She watches him walk away, a quiet strength in his old steps. Tilting her head, she ponders what kind of a life he'd led, what he'd acheived. Old people were interesting things. Turning her head, she gazes back out to sea. It was calming here. Somewhere she could sit and not worry about anything in the world. Somewhere she could escape to. It was a sorry moment when she stood and brushed off her faded, torn jeans and headed for the busstop on the hill. It meant that she had to stop pretending and go back to her life. It wasn't that it was a bad life. In fact, she had it a lot better than some, but it was nice to pretend, just for a little while, that she was someone else, somewhere else, something else.

601028  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-06-17
Written: (5403 days ago)

Changes come and go. People change, time changes, new beginnings cover old endings. Sometimes we cannot tell where one begins and the other ends. It's like the Gods do really play chess in a game of strategy. Lives run by the string in the pocket of Herne. I don't want to change. I'm happy being who i am, and who i am is myself. I'm not perfect, no one is. I make mistakes, i get things right. I laugh and cry, i sing and scream. Another no one in a world of oppertunity. Did anyone ever stop to think about the possibilities that a no one has? Giving a no one a name is hard, especially when that no one has no idea about how they want to be known.
Sometimes, when things change, i want to sing. And other times? Other times i want to run. But at the moment, changes are both. Revelations that cannot possibly lead to something good. I know, i've been there. I think it's stupid. And other things that make me laugh and become hyper, those are the threads that i hang on to, this shred of peace in my turbulent world.

598240  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-06-14
Written: (5405 days ago)

The young girl crouched over the slug, biting her lip nervously. I shouldn't be doing this... She thought, looking around for her parents. Nowhere in sight. Taking a deep breath, she quickly dropped the pinch of salt onto the slow moving creature, biting her lip so hard she was sure it was about to split.
Her eyes widened in horror as the creature began to writhe, fizzing with a white foam. "No..." She whispered, reaching down to grab the tortured grub. "I'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry!" She whimpered as she ran cold water over it from the garden tap. The slug merely began to slide across her palm, leaving a sticky trail. Hearing her mother calling her, the girl dashed over to a plant, placing the slug carefully on the outstretched leaves. "Sorry, Mr. Slug." She whispered, before dashing inside, wiping her wet and slimy hands on her shorts.
Regret made her insides crawl. I am a horrible person... she thought later that night, as she sat wtih a book on her lap. Shaking her head in remorse, she flushed as she remembered the reaction of one of her friends. He'd poked fun, and made her feel even worse. Frowning slightly, she stood, sliding the book back into it's place on the shelf. She didn't really feel like reading about happy endings anymore. 

597360  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-06-13
Written: (5406 days ago)

The serenity of this place unnerved me slightly. The leaves, gold and red fell in soft, fluttering waves from the trees to scatter, desolate in their deaths on the path before me as i walked. Breathing deeply, trying to dispell the feeling, i took in my surroundings. A forest is home to many creatures and peoples, and i could think of no other place as beautiful to live as this.
The trees were ancient, wise, their knarled trunks and twisted branched speaking of experience and solace. Thier leaves that fell in the dying sunlight set the air aflame in a riot of colour, softly lighting my way.
The sound of soft singing broke through my dazed revierie, echoing down the path to wrap around me in a sad, longing melody. Snatches drifting through the air...

"With a sigh, you turn away...
With the deepening dark,
No words to say
you will see that the world is changed....
Forever...

The leaves are turning from green to gold...
And the sun is now fading
I wish i could hold you closer...."


Tears sprang, unbidden and emotion filled into my eyes as i stood, alone and unmissed amidst the swirling leaves and dappled sunlight. A lone stranger in a world not her own.

585701  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-05-29
Written: (5421 days ago)

Guardian Devil

Sunlight seeps into my eyes,
I watch you through
Triumphant eyes
You're winning this battle of wills

I cannot stay for very long,
I have to sort this
Right from wrong
But you know i'll be your

Guardian Devil,
An Angel of Catastrophy
Flame of Justice
Path of Peace,
Watching over you,
I'm watching over you.



Standing on the heated sand
I reach for you
You take my hand,
A friend of guiding light,

To see this day
in hazy light,
another day, another fight
You know i'm here, here as your

Guardian Devil,
An Angel of Catastrophy
Flame of Justice
Path of Peace,
Watching over you,
I'm watching over you.


(repeat first two verses and chorus, then end.)

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