[Lirerial]'s diary

1166828  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2014-08-21
Written: (1883 days ago)

Feeling really down today. I haven't had a bad day with my depression for a while so I guess its about time. Just feels a lot worse than usual... I'm so tired of it all. I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up again.

1166587  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2014-08-13
Written: (1892 days ago)
1166564  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2014-08-13
Written: (1892 days ago)
Next in thread: 1166584

Starting to avoid Facebook. A friend of mine is trying to convince me to give her one of my horses. I'm starting to get really annoyed. I have two horses both at the same boarding place where I pay 30 a month. She wants me to move my gelding to her house so she can charge me 150 or just give her the horse. Seriously... If you want another horse BUY one, if you want I may SELL Morgan to you but no matter how much you beg and ignore my refusals, I won't give him to you

1166348  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2014-08-11
Written: (1894 days ago)

Just found out some really bad news. I honestly have trouble imagining how it could get worse. Right now I think I may actually hate the person who put me in this position. I've just realized that I will be unable to go back to school this fall like I'd originally hoped. Please excuse me while I go curl up on a corner and cry while I plot my soon-to-be exhusband's demise.

1166233  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2014-08-07
Written: (1898 days ago)

I'm having a distinct "fuck life" moment... I woke up still drunk. I've had my coffee and Arya is running around like she's ingested several shots of straight caffeine. Oh and after going through some text messages I'm seriously contemplating an emergency trip to Florida and confiscation of a phone before they get read :P

1166181  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2014-08-05
Written: (1900 days ago)

I'm feeling so loved right now it makes me want to cry. My friends and family are amazing and I'm so glad to have them while going through a rough time. :3

1165830  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2014-07-14
Written: (1922 days ago)

Omg.... We have the best cats in existence! Arya has a special coffee table where she hides stuff. X box controllers, tv remotes, keys and basically anything else she wants but isn't supposed to have. Anyways, you know those two kittens I mentioned in a previous post? Well they've become permanent additions to the household and Arya's favorite pets but she's not supposed to be picking them up (they're older kittens not tiny babies). Just a few minutes ago I walked into the living room and caught Arya hiding both cats in her coffee table lmao! She jumped 3 ft in the air when I walked in and called her name! XD

1165724  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2014-06-29
Written: (1936 days ago)
Next in thread: 1165725

So I brought home a pair of kittens over the weekend. They're both solid black. XD Today my neighbor showed up with a kitten that was the exact same color as the two I had. In that moment of awesome clarity, my neighbor decided to let me borrow her cat for a few hours/days. Basically we wanted to see how long it would take my husband to figure out that we have 3 cats instead of 2. So far all three of these cats have been in his lap (no more than two at a time) and he's been talking about how fast these cats move. XD I swear he's starting to think he's going insane

1165705  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2014-06-27
Written: (1939 days ago)
Next in thread: 1165706

That moment when Cody is playing a game on the X-Box and returns to the home screen before walking out to the front porch and I'm left sitting in the living room fighting the urge to grab the controller and pop in my game.... >_> I may have a problem XD

1165644  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2014-06-19
Written: (1947 days ago)
Next in thread: 1165646

I'm currently feeling like a total bitch. My 17 year old brother stopped by my house to beg for a lighter. He'd snuck out of my parents house (with a friend) and had a pack of fireworks that he was planning on setting off under people's cars. I told him no and offered to set up a bonfire or engage him in some video games but he refused and they left. I ended up calling my mom and telling her to check his bedroom... Ugh my husband says I did the right thing, my sister thinks I overreacted and am just causing problems between him and my parents. We live in SC... Hearing gunfire in our neighborhood is not uncommon. I could seriously see him getting shot or arrested.

1165598  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2014-06-10
Written: (1956 days ago)

Welp my husband lost his job today. He forgot some equipment to take to a job site and was fired on the spot, not even a warning. Meanwhile, other employees show up to drunk to work and even drive the company cars. And no, this isn't a common thing for him, he has been employee of the month almost constantly for the last year. Apparently the place is in an uproar with people threatening to quit if he isn't hired back and his manager was crying when he told him. (The owner is the one who ordered him fired) I don't want him to go back there though, I have watched him work his ass off, sometimes not getting home until 5 am of the next day. I'm just ranting because I don't want this on Facebook, to many people on there who would just LOVE this sorta thing

1165587  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2014-06-08
Written: (1958 days ago)

Well... my rough week has turned amazing. My German Shepherd puppy (5 months old) killed my rabbits including my best doe and my daughter's pet. My husband gave me an ultimatum and said I had to either shoot her, give her away or get rid of all my farm animals so she wouldn't kill anything. Self-sustaining farming is my dream and goal so I'm not willing to give up my animals and I'm sure as hell not going to shoot her so I sold her. I have to say though... the farming community in my area is amazing. I had been talking to a local rabbit breeder to purchase on of her bucks for 30 dollars, I had to cancel our appointment today due to the carnage I woke up too. This lady, whom I have yet to even meet face to face and is renown in our area for some of the best quality rabbits available, has been a godsend. She gave me 5 rabbits, 4 does and the buck I wanted for 50 dollars... These are rabbits I've seen her sell for 45+ each(the does). Another lady gave me a bunch of wire and fencing supplies to help me repair my pens so that I can bring the new bunnies home. Honestly, I'm a bit stunned about how easily this community I'm part of came together and it cemented my desire to remain a part of it.

1165576  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2014-06-06
Written: (1960 days ago)

Had a really rough day yesterday. Fixed it so I had a babysitter and could go riding and come home and get online for a few hours and that went wrong. Babysitter cancelled, horse riding partner is moving out of the house she has with her bf and now my my mother in law is on her way to drag me out because my sister in law told her I broke down yesterday. *sigh* I just wanted a stress free day

1165538  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2014-05-31
Written: (1965 days ago)

I honestly can't remember all the places I need to post. Please feel free to poke me (side pages included) and I'll get them all tonight

1165512  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2014-05-28
Written: (1969 days ago)

I won't be on at all June 27-July 1st. Some friends and my husband and I are packing up the dogs and going camping. Sadly, there is no wifi so we'll all have to learn to survive without our computers and x boxes. Thankfully, the dogs get to come and the cabin is on a lake. I have the feeling Becca and I will be in heaven while our respective spouses will be attempting to create X-boxes out of wood and fire :D

1165510  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2014-05-27
Written: (1969 days ago)

I'm starting to realize just how much of a recluse I'm turning into :P Since last week, I have not had a single day to myself. I have been dragged out to do errands or just had people randomly drop by or call me and talk for hours. I don't mind people so much and I love my friends and family but I don't want to see them every day! I enjoy being alone at the house with the dogs and my x box. ~Confessions of a Blossoming Recluse

1165493  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2014-05-26
Written: (1971 days ago)
Next in thread: 1165495

I feel like crying right about now. We have over 10k in debt because of my husband's hospital bills. This week I paid all our bills got groceries and kept back 30 dollars for gas and dog food. I usually hide it so Cody won't spend it but yesterday he got all offended cause I didn't trust him so I gave it to him last night. This morning I asked for some to put gas in my car and I find out he spent it all. Thankfully I already put gas in his car so he can get to work but I needed dog food and gas in my car. Looks like the dogs are getting cooked food this week and we're missing his family's cookout.

1165474  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2014-05-25
Written: (1972 days ago)

Ugh apparently I drank more than I thought. I just walked into my yard and found way to many empty liquor bottles, a bucket of cement and cement covered shoes. Oh and I have a hangover from hell and I gotta go pick up a horse in a few minutes :p

1165473  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2014-05-25
Written: (1972 days ago)

Ugh last night was completely awesome. I got surprised by some friends and way more booze than I needed access too.

1165455  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2014-05-24
Written: (1973 days ago)

So I'm now drinking alone while my husband and his friend drink in the next room >_> Apparently I get better at video games when I'm drunk off my ass and after winning every match for the last hour my husband got pissed :P

1165449  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2014-05-23
Written: (1974 days ago)

Ok, seriously my husband is REALLY good at giving me presents. Like holy crap good. When he proposed to me he gave me a knife. A good quality useful knife that I could take to the barn with me. When we got married he got me a horse (technically he gave me permission to get one of my choice and his funding). For mother's day he bought me a new rabbit who has had babies and is a perfect mom. For our two year anniversary that is this June? He has booked a week long vacation at a beach in NC (Folley's Beach I think) AND he bought me a second horse. Please excuse me while I thank the goddess for the most amazing man I could possibly ask for. I never imagined I would find someone who, not only deals with my weirdness, but is someone I can talk to, drink with, play with and kick his ass on video games. I'm just feeling so loved right now, I can't help but share

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