[human_rhapsody]'s diary

947280  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-06-11
Written: (4512 days ago)

I'm moving to a new place in a couple of days. I'm excited. It's really big and beautiful. So the thing went through with Belial. We had sex a couple of times, but then he kind of wussied out on me. I guess the conundrum of being allowed to have guilt-free sex with an affianced woman was a bit too much. meh. I've been looking for a guy like him. You know, overly confidant, hot, tall, a good lay, and willing to have guilt-free sex with a woman you can't have. And no, as you've probably already guessed, the search is not going well.

I'm so sad. Bonnaroo is this week. It's the biggest musical event in TN. 147 artist are performing, including comedians like Demetri Martin (if you don't know who this is look him up on youtube, he's awesome). It's a four day fest and I desperately want to go, but I can't. It sucks, but hey, I'll try again next year.

939348  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-05-14
Written: (4540 days ago)

Long-ass weekend! I had two of my brothers this weekend, a self-afflicted torment to be honest. They of course drove me crazy, but that's okay. I'm exhausted now that they're gone and I don't even have to be at work till Wed. I'm going to be bored out of my mind the next couple of days. It's no wonder I've gotten so good at video games lately. I've been burning through a game every other day recently, but, man, do I love them.

It's sad: I really want someone to flirt with, more specifically Belial, but most of the people who are flirting with me are crazy, too young, or uninteresting or are too far away. I think tonight I'll get wasted and forget the whole thing. It's going to be a couple of weeks till I get to play again. It's also sad that James gave me the okay to sleep with him right after he left. Now that we have an open relationship, James has been flirting with every girl possible and hasn't had many hit backs. He's gotten so desperate he's turned back to men to tied him over till he can find a girl to flirt with. I don't know whether that insults me or not, but I did give him an okay on it, so I don't want to take it back.

935686  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-05-01
Written: (4553 days ago)

I'm in a pretty good mood, though things seem a bit ironic right now. Recently I broke things off with a distant more-than-friendship because James and I wanted to close down our relationship. Now we're more open than ever, and soon perhaps even more so. The funny part is that Belial left for JROTC at one am this morning, right after James told me that I would probably be allowed to do even more with him. (I know what you're thinking, and no James did not do that on purpose.)

I've finished half of my finals now, and I couldn't be happier that the semester is over...well unless I had actually done as well as I did last semester. Here's another thing that's ironic: last semester I didn't open a single book and didn't study and made straight A's in all six classes; this semester I studied, read my chapters, made study guides and I'll probably get a C in Educ Psy and a B in Shakespeare. Maybe the trick is to not put forth any effort.

934820  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-04-28
Written: (4556 days ago)

Okay so honestly I joined this thing because a guy suggested it to me, and mostly so I can stay in contact with him. He's coming over this afternoon for a little tet-e-tet with my fiance. James, my fiance, decided he wanted to make some guidelines about how much physical contact is allowed between me and said person. I'm nervous but excited. Afterwards, while James is at work, I'll be able to test my new limitations. I plan on having Belial help me die my hair, that way it'll be easier to keep his hands off of me...well at least the places he can't touch. :)

I'm glad James is open about the whole thing. I really like flirting with and teasing Belial, but I'd hate to mess things up with James. I'm going to make a stew for dinner tonight, with the intentions of flaunting my cooking prowess. I'm such a wanton flatterer. I want so badly for everyone to like me. I know that I'm writing this for a lot of people to see, but as it is a diary, I don't want to hedge when it comes to true intraspection.

934548  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-04-27
Written: (4556 days ago)

Alright, so this is my first diary entry in a while, first ever on elftown. I've realized lately that even if you believe the journey is more important than the destination, you still have to have a destination in mind. Lately I've been wandering and traveling for the sake of traveling. I have a preconceived notion of where every person's journey is supposed to take them, but I don't know that if I was given a concious decision if I would have chosen the same path.
Sure I've seen those who followed a less conventional dogma for life, but in essence, their lives turned out the same. There just isn't enough time to live all the lives that one can craft for oneself. I can never reach my full potential in any of my options because I'm always distracted by all the possibilities that life has to offer.
Sorry to start my diary on such a pretentious note, but this is a concept that's been bothering me lately and it does feel good to express it without having to worry about someone giving me unwelcome commentary. *co(jessie)ugh*

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