[og_ghost]'s diary

880037  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-11-28
Written: (4678 days ago)

7 archetypes

Victim – follows murder scenes, doesn’t talk, unstable
Serial Killer – stalks, kills, doesn’t talk, unstable, hangs around death
Detective – inquisitive and forceful, generally rude, follows murder scenes, hangs around death
Journalist – talkative, nosy,
Private Investigator – nosy, sneaky,
Copycat Killer – stalks, kills, follows murder scenes, unstable,
Vigilante – ignores law, stalks, kills,


Get a letter from a woman close to you.
The letter is frantic, asking for help? Or maybe the letter is a warning?
- if player goes straight to the woman, +victim
- if player kills a random individual, +serial killer, +copycat killer
- if player looks for other sources of information, +detective, +private investigator
- if player talks to no one, +serial killer, +copycat killer, +victim
- if player talks to everyone, +detective, +private investigator, +journalist
- if player follows up on information concerning unrelated events, +journalist
- if player steals items, +detective, +copycat killer, +vigilante
Encounter Transient
- if player ignores him, +vigilante, +victim
- if player questions him, +detective, +journalist, +private investigator
- if player sticks around and listens to him, +journalist, +vigilante, +copycat killer
- if player follows him, +vigilante, +copycat killer, +serial killer
- if player kills him, +copycat killer, +serial killer
- if player tells him to go away, +victim, +detective, +private investigator
Emergency vehicle goes past
- if player follows it, +copycat killer, +detective, +journalist, +vigilante
- if player goes the opposite direction, +serial killer, +victim, +private investigator
Incident
- if player asks people questions, +detective, +private investigator, +journalist
- if player hangs around and looks at stuff, +serial killer, +copycat killer, +vigilante
- if player leaves when asked, +victim, +serial killer
- if player does not leave when asked, +vigilante, +copycat killer






Murderer MO is to stalk two people at a time, then kill one and leave a recognizable memento to the other one. (e.g., if the couple is married, the wife might find the husbands ring finger in her mail box)

Serial Killer paraphernalia: rose, coin, playing card

Or MO is to leave a personal item in the hand of the victim

Story:
There is a woman who calls to you about a problem.
You take care of problem. You encounter an insane transient, rambling. You return to the woman, who thanks you. She mentions that it’s getting late, and asks you to walk her home. She says goodnight, and then an emergency vehicle drives past. She tells you to be careful out so late, and thank you again.
FOLLOW THE EMERGENCY VEHICLE: You encounter the incident, and police.

Victim:
The woman is family
The problem is
You meet the transient after the problem
Transient is rambling about seeing the Murderer
The woman thanks you with a hug
As you walk her home, there are many people
The incident is a murder
The police tell you to leave

Serial Killer:
The woman is a friend
The problem is
You meet the transient after fixing the problem
Transient is rambling about the cold and the screams
The woman thanks you with a hug
As you walk her home, there are no people
The incident is a murder
The police tell you to leave

Detective:
The woman is a victim
The problem is
You meet the transient while fixing the problem
Transient is rambling about the dead bodies
The woman thanks you with a smile
As you walk her home, there are few people
The incident is a murder
The police ignore you

Journalist:
The woman is an informant
The problem is
You meet the transient before fixing the problem
Transient is rambling about the Murderer
The woman thanks you with a smile
As you walk her home, there are few people
The police ignore you
Private Investigator:
The woman is a client
The problem is
You meet the transient while fixing the problem
Transient is rambling about dead bodies
The woman thanks you with a smile
As you walk her home, there are few people
The police ignore you

Copycat Killer:
The woman is
The problem is
You meet the transient after fixing the problem
Transient is rambling about the cold and the screams
The woman thanks you with a
As you walk her home, there are no people
The police tell you to leave

Vigilante:
The woman is a lover
The problem is
You meet the transient while fixing the problem
Transient is rambling about the cold and the screams
The woman thanks you with a kiss
As you walk her home, there are many people
The police tell you to leave

870366  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-11-02
Written: (4704 days ago)

INT BALLROOM HALL

The hall is darkened as PETRA walks out into the clear of the room. DIMITRI turns on the lights, and Petra starts.

PETRA
Wow! Would you look at this!

DIMITRI
You like it?

Petra runs to Dimitri’s arms, he catches her and lets her spin once, before putting her down with some reservation.
PETRA
It’s beautiful!

DIMITRI
So you like it.

Petra takes his hands in hers.

PETRA
Of course I do. How could I not? I mean, just look at all this!

She turns and looks at everything again.

PETRA (CONT’D)
I love it.

Dimitri flourishes. He half runs/skips over to a wall and begins to pull a rope, raising the background curtain.

DIMITRI
It gets better.

On cue, the band starts to play. Petra, overwhelmed, staggers forward slightly, agape. Dimitri stands behind her proudly.

DIMITRI (CONT’D)
Well?

Petra spins around and embraces him. He takes her in, and then pulls away one hand. As she looks up at him in surprise, they begin to dance.

868125  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-10-27
Written: (4710 days ago)
864202  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-10-16
Written: (4721 days ago)

Economics, the study of money, its significance, and how it moves, is finding new application in and around video games. The industry itself has grown to rival movies and music, but more than that, the games themselves have become microcosms of economic movement. In addition, video games are opening up new avenues of research and experimentation. Add to this the fact that, historically, video games have led the forefront into technology that has since become standard proceedure in the business world and the result is a powerhouse force capable of literally changing the way today's history will be written.
The game industry, though a relatively new market, is doing extraordinarily well for itself. The combined revenue of console and computer based games has already surpassed that of the entire movie industry. This ever growing behemoth is experiencing the same economic growing pains that all the other ones did, but at an accelerated rate. While the rest of the computer industry experiences the ever baffling phenomena of forever falling prices and forever growing functionality, the game industry has met its match in economies of scale. With the coming of the new generation of console technology, the cost of development is expected to skyrocket by millions of dollars. The new systems allow for more to be shown on screen, for more calculations to be processed every second, and for more content to be stored in a single game, which means that all this new content needs to be created, and that every individual asset that goes into the production of the game takes longer to create. MMO (massively multiplayer online) games, among the most popular available, generally have a cost of production exceeding $20 million just to develop the game, which doesn't include the day-by-day maintenance that these games require.
Even so, MMO's have become successfull and even lucrative, with games like World of Warcraft, Lineage, Everquest, and Ultima Online bringing in the largest number of players globally. With all of these people interacting in their respective vitrual worlds, interesting societal phenomena have cropped up naturally in a controlled environment. This has tremendous implications for research, as everything in these worlds can be monitored and quantified, making even the psychology of economics a measurable attribute. Within these MMO's, players accrue currency that they then use to purchase in game objects. The fascinating thing about these in-game marketplaces is that while the world is virtual, the economy is very real, and responds to abuse exactly the way it does in the real world. In one particular instance involving Ultima Online, a popular game with thousands of players logging in each month, the developers actually designed their own economy, with all of its rules and factors. During the first year of its life, though, the economy in this game went through a tremendously tumultuous evolution, experiencing a wide variety of problems that the developers had not anticipated.
For one thing, there was over-production, spurred by the incentive that every time a player created an item, it improved their "skill" in creating that item, making future iterations better. Players expected to make a profit for their efforts as well, and complained when non-player shopkeepers would not purchase their wares, reporting it as a 'bug'. When the development team changed the system to account for this, the result was shopkeepers that would, in effect, manufacture currency to buy items which were not only not in demand, but were also over-saturating the market. While many items in the game could be found in the wild (collected from defeated monsters as loot) or created by players, the NPC shopkeepers did sell two things that were important in the Ultima Online economy. The first is raw materials, the price of which were kept artificially low so as to encourage new players to begin creating their own items and thus find more incentive to continue playing the game - the result of which was further irritation to the overproduction problem.The second thing these shopkeepers exclusively provided that players wanted was magical reagents. A group of players discovered that they could corner the market on these by buying them up from all the stores as soon as they were made available and then selling them off later at a higher price. The second major problem they encountered was hoarding. The players would each seek to accumulate wealth and items, and would generally simply keep all this wealth and items once acquired. The developers had built a closed economy that ultimately failed. Add to this the rampant counterfeiting that occured due to loopholes in the game, and the amount of hyperinflation that occured in the game was staggering, and the economy almost collapsed. The simulated market reacted exactly as it would have in the real world, so we can see that such games now can have more meaning than simply the fun the players have participating.
Other games have been more successful with the economy, but an interesting effect of these economies is the real world transactions they sometimes spur. In many games, the actual sale of characters and items is prohibited, although these transactions often occur anyway. Characters in games such as Everquest and World of Warcraft have been sold for thousands of dollars. A popular game called Second Life is actually built with the capatalist economy as the main selling point. Players join the world, create their own content, and then sell it for in-game money that can be exchanged for real money. In Second Life, the most important commodity is land, which translates in technical terms into server space. Players buy land (renting it for $9.95 a month), and then do with it as they please, storing their items, or setting up shops, or selling off their land piecemeal to other players hoping to open up a store or club. There are actually players who make their living creating content for this game, and one player in particular (known in the game world as the "Baroness") who became rich building a lucrative land sale empire.
In a certain way, the games themselves have become their own economy. Norrath, the virtual world of Everquest has become the 77th largest economy in the world! Internetnews.com ran an article that said that Norrath has a "gross national product per capita of $2,266, making its economy larger than either the Chinese or Indian economy and roughly comparable to Russia's economy". The current exchange rate of Lindens (L$, the currency in Second Life) is 252 Lindens to 1 US Dollar. According to an interview of the developers, the "GNP of Second Life in September 2005 was L$906,361,808 or US$5,596,674, based on the recent L/US exchange rate." These games are significant members of a world-wide economy, with players on all corners of the globe participating in the circulation of all this money.
Video games are becoming a significant presence in the real-world economy, and now that their virtual world equivalents are becoming so prevalent, these additional societies have begun to leave their mark as well. As always, it appears that games will lead the way into the future of business technology, just as it has in the past. Examples of this include the color moniter, higher resolution hardware accelerated graphics cards, sound cards, improvements in networking technology, and increased processing power of computers. Now, once again, games pave the way, now introducing the idea of what is being called The Grid, a system which will allow all the computers connected to share their processing power, effectively creating a world-wide supercomputer built of nodes of individual computers - all for a game. Games are no longer flights of fancy. They have grown into their own as both economic model and pioneer. One day soon, perhaps, games will allow use to finally understand that bigger game - the game of life and society.

Internetnews.com: http://www.internetnews.com/infra/article.php/10693_1107121
Harrow, Jeff: http://www.theharrowgroup.com/articles/20020527/20020527.htm
Vaknin, Sam: http://samvak.tripod.com/pp153.html
Criterion Economics: http://www.criterioneconomics.com/news/060713.php
Simpson, Doug: http://www.dougsimpson.com/blog/archives/000504.html
Rosedale, Phillip: http://www.technologyreview.com/read_article.aspx?id=16023&ch=biztech
Simpson, Zachary Booth: http://www.mine-control.com/zack/uoecon/uoecon.html
Koster, Raph: http://www.raphkoster.com/gaming/uoeconevolution.shtml

840256  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-08-18
Written: (4780 days ago)

Goodbye, waterfall


I had to get out, had to go somewhere. I couldn’t bear these walls, still echoing her voice. I went outside, on the dark and empty street where I could be a stranger, a silhouette; featureless. I walked, aimless, down the street I knew best in daylight and now could hardly see. Eventually, the cool air of the evening began to calm me down, soothing my agitated mind with quiet patience.
I turned a corner and found my self at the old park, where I’d spent much of my time as a cub, scurrying about, exploring the world and sports and people. Like everything else, it was quiet, black, cold. As I wandered through, I couldn’t help but remembering the times I’d hit the baseball so hard it actually injured the kid who caught it, or I’d played with a little kid to cheer him up, or had driven myself to keep running until I finished training.
I walked through the baseball field, past the basketball courts and the tennis courts and the swings in the sandbox. Past the pool that had replaced the building that remembered how I’d trained for boxing, or practiced acting, or sculpted pots that didn’t work. I came to the edge, just beyond the little Japanese garden where I’d climbed on rocks, jumping from one to the other, trying not to fall to my doom just a foot below, behind the auditorium where I’d played basketball and delivered my lines on cue. The sprinklers had come on, and all the plants glistened in what little light there was. One of the sprinkler heads was broken, and sent a gushing stream of water fifteen feet up before it rained back down.
It was beautiful. I sat down on a nearby bench. Watching this self-proclaiming fountain gave me peace. The water shined as it flew majestically into the air before disappearing against the trees and shining once again on its way back down, changed, better – this water had done something, had been a part of something, this beautiful and glorious arch that defied nature and man. I listened to the soft pattering it made on the cobblestone path.
I left earlier than I wanted, preferring to remember it bold as it was in its prime, rather than to watch it die as I knew it inevitably would.



I had done something wrong again. It was a recurring theme, by this point, so in a way it wasn’t so bad – after all, it was nothing that hadn’t happened before. History supported me, showed me that there could still be a happy ending. But in a different way, it was almost infinitely worse: was I doomed to live a life forever riddled by mistakes and foolishness? I’d been here before; had I not learned? As always, she stayed supportive. As always, I found a way to make things worse.
It was my turn to say something, but I didn’t. Unsure of how I’d managed to dig such a hole, I was terrified of making things worse. I kept quiet. She asked me what I expected from our relationship. Can’t answer. Can’t think, can’t speak. I can’t even move. I want to tell her I love her. I want to tell her I’m sorry. I mouth the words, but I can’t make the sound come out.
She deserved better than this. She and I both knew it. I tried my hardest to be a good boyfriend, to be a good person, but every step forward is a new mistake, a new word I didn’t mean, hadn’t meant to say. We had spent such great times together. I know I’d made her happy, once. I had. Even then, back in days that felt like lifetimes ago, it was hard to speak of the future. She’d join the army, I’d go to college. I never asked her not to. It was what she wanted, so it was what I wanted for her. I knew it wouldn’t be easy – no one had said it would be easy – so I prepared myself for the worst. I prepared myself for the months of silence that would come while she situated herself in her new world.
Hers was a world of success. It was a world of accomplishment. It was a world where duty and honor were manifest each day in each persons very way of life. It was a world I could never know or understand.
She asks me what’s wrong. There are no words, and won’t be for a very long time, so I smile as best I can and tell her that all is well. I feel guilty. Guilty for wasting her time. Guilty for gambling on our happiness.
I had to leave, had to go somewhere. I had to say goodbye.

Goodbye, waterfall.

837200  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-08-11
Written: (4787 days ago)

Goodbye, waterfall

I had to get out, had to go somewhere. I couldn’t bear these walls, still echoing her voice. I went outside, on the dark and empty street where I could be a stranger, a silhouette; featureless. I walked, aimless, down the street I knew best in daylight and now could hardly see. Eventually, the cool air of the evening began to calm me down, soothing my agitated mind with quiet patience.
I turned a corner and found my self at the old park, where I’d spent much of my time as a cub, scurrying about, exploring the world and sports and people. Like everything else, it was quiet, black, cold. As I wandered through, I couldn’t help but remembering the times I’d hit the baseball so hard it actually injured the kid who caught it, or I’d played with a little kid to cheer him up, or had driven myself to keep running until I finished training.
I walked through the baseball field, past the basketball courts and the tennis courts and the swings in the sandbox. Past the pool that had replaced the building that remembered how I’d trained for boxing, or practiced acting, or sculpted pots that didn’t work. I came to the edge, just beyond the little Japanese garden where I’d climbed on rocks, jumping from one to the other, trying not to fall to my doom just a foot below, behind the auditorium where I’d played basketball and delivered my lines on cue. The sprinklers had come on, and all the plants glistened in what little light there was. One of them was broken, and sent a gushing stream of water fifteen feet up before it rained back down.
I sat down on a nearby bench. Watching this self-proclaiming fountain gave me peace. The water shined as it flew majestically into the air before disappearing against the trees and shining once again on its way back down, changed, better – this water had done something, had been a part of something, this beautiful and glorious arch that defied nature and man. I listened to the soft pattering it made on the cobblestone path. It was beautiful.
I left earlier than I wanted, preferring to remember it bold as it was in its prime, rather than to watch it die as I knew it inevitably would.

826965  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-07-20
Written: (4809 days ago)
823389  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-07-12
Written: (4817 days ago)

Domino: 1 9/16 x 3/4 x 1/4 in

823278  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-07-12
Written: (4817 days ago)

customize/unit setup
Click: US Standard
System Unit Setup: 1 = Inch

807271  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-06-12
Written: (4846 days ago)


CHECK 1- value scale
2- monochromatic scale - green gray red (9 each)
3- color wheel (tint and shade and complimentary)
4- 7 harmonies (analogous 3, complementary 2, double complementary 4, monochromatic 3, split complemtary 3, triadic 3, subdued contrast 4)
5- high and low chroma (hugh chroma light value - yellow, orange, red-orange; high chroma dark value - blue, green, purple, red purple, blue green; low chroma light value - tint HUGE; low chroma dark value - shade)
6- munsell color wheel.

745444  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-02-07
Written: (4972 days ago)

Gon Lucos
Blair Graphics
Sammy's Camera
BIG printing - 1646 17th St, Santa Monica, 310-396-4446

737915  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-01-24
Written: (4986 days ago)

Name
Email
Phone
Quarter
Major
Career goal
Dream job
Passions/hobbies
Theme/style for midterm
Thoughts on the class
Understand syllabus and attendance policy

611077  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-06-29
Written: (5195 days ago)
Next in thread: 676769

We are superhuman
we are something more
we are superhuman
and we won't be ignored!

We burn brighter
than you can even see
we fly higher
than you could ever dream
and we live lives
you only know in make-believe
and yet you think you'd understand us?
HA!
...ha...
We fight monsters
you only see when you're asleep
We fall harder
than what you could just concieve
We're more truely lonely
than you will ever be
so why do you think you'd comprehend us?

No one ever sees the good to being normal
Because none of you know's the truth:
that ignorance is bliss!
If I could just forget these horrid secrets I know
maybe, just maybe then,
my soul could be at peace!

606042  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-06-23
Written: (5201 days ago)

Question: Is the song "Hikari" by Utada Hikaru the original song in that first cutscene in Kingdom Hearts? Or is it a Japanese remake? Because it's DEFINITELY the same music and tune. I don't know if it's the same words because (a) I don't know the original words, and (b) I don't understand Japanese that well. But I was just wondering. Anybody who knows, hit me up with the answer.
Thanks.

564986  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-04-29
Written: (5255 days ago)

Sleep well, my sweet Forbidden
be blessed with pleasant dreams
Farewell, my sweet Forbidden
farewell, 'til next we meet
Goodbye, my sweet Forbidden
take care away from me
Goodbye, my sweet Forbidden
Mine to always have, but never keep

Seductress, enchantress
my ultimate temptation
so reckless, so lawless
so steadfast your convictions
your beauty, complasence
my Valkyrie, my Siren
my Amazon warrior Princess
my Lady of Contradictions

You're the burning blue of the fire
You're the gleaming edge of the sword
so beautiful to the eyes, but
get too close, get cut and burned!

532392  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-03-26
Written: (5290 days ago)
Next in thread: 532441

Once upon a time, there was a SPC Schwarz stationed with the Army in the Balkans. SPC Schwarz was either very clever or very bored; but probably both, since he managed to attempt or be warned about 213 things he wasn't allowed to do. He collected those things into a hillarious list and posted them to the web. The site hadn't been updated in a couple of years and has since gone away; but the list is classic, so I saved it. A couple favorites: 2. My proper military title is 'Specialist Schwarz' not 'Princess Anastasia'. and 191. Our Humvees cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot.


The list:
Not allowed to watch Southpark when I'm supposed to be working.
My proper military title is 'Specialist Schwarz' not 'Princess Anastasia'.
Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.
Not allowed to challenge anyone's disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.
Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.
Not allowed to play 'Pulp Fiction' with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.
Not allowed to add 'In accordance with the prophesy' to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.
Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don't like to War Criminal posters.
Not allowed to title any product 'Get Over it'.
Not allowed to purchase anyone's soul on Government time.
Not allowed to join the communist party.
Not allowed to join any militia.
Not allowed to form any militia.
Not allowed out of my office when the president visited Sarajevo.
Not allowed to train adopted stray dogs to 'Sic Brass!'
Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my 'Sampson like powers'.
God may not contradict any of my orders.
May no longer perform my now (in)famous 'Barbie Girl Dance' while on duty.
May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I'm right.
Must not taunt the French any more.
Must attempt to not antagonize SAS.
Must never call an SAS a 'Wanker'.
Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they've been smoking crack.
Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if it's true.
Never confuse a Dutch soldier for a French one.
Never tell a German soldier that 'We kicked your ass in World War 2!'
Don't tell Princess Di jokes in front of the paras (British Airborne).
Don't take the batteries out of the other soldiers alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times).
The Irish MPs are not after 'Me frosted lucky charms'.
Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.
Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.
Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.
Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
(Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.
Not allowed to sing 'High Speed Dirt' by Megadeth during airborne operations. ('See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I'm off to meet my maker')
Can't have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isn't over).
Our medic is called 'Sgt Larwasa', not 'Dr. Feelgood'.
Our supply Sgt is 'Sgt Watkins' not 'Sugar Daddy'.
Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.
I do not have super-powers.
'Keep on Trucking' is *not* a psychological warfare message.
Not allowed to attempt to appeal to mankind's baser instincts in recruitment posters.
Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.
I am not the atheist chaplain.
I am not allowed to 'Go to Bragg boulevard and shake daddies little money maker for twenties stuffed into my undies'.
I am not authorized to fire officers.
I am not a citizen of Texas, and those other, forty-nine, lesser states.
I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.
Not allowed to trade military equipment for 'magic beans'.
Not allowed to sell magic beans during duty hours.
Not allowed to quote 'Dr Seuss' on military operations.
Not allowed to yell 'Take that Cobra' at the rifle range.
Not allowed to quote 'Full Metal Jacket ' at the rifle range.
'Napalm sticks to kids' is *not* a motivational phrase.
An order to 'Put Kiwi on my boots' does *not* involve fruit.
An order to 'Make my Boots black and shiny' does not involve electrical tape.
The proper response to a lawful order is not 'Why?'
The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we've all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.
May not make posters depicting the leadership failings of my chain of command.
'The Giant Space Ants' are not at the top of my chain of command.
If one soldier has a 2nd Lt bar on his uniform, and I have an E-4 on mine It means he outranks me. It does not mean 'I have been promoted three more times than you'.
It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz.
Command decisions do *not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority.
Inflatable novelties do *not* entitle me to BAQ or Separation pay.
There are no evil clowns living under my bed.
There is no 'Anti-Mime' campaign in Bosnia.
I am not the Psychological Warfare Mascot.
I may not line my helmet with tin foil to 'Block out the space mind control lasers'.
May not pretend to be a facist stormtrooper, while on duty.
I am not authorized to prescribe any form of medication.
I must not flaunt my deviances in front of my chain of command.
May not wear gimp mask while on duty.
No military functions are to be performed 'Skyclad'.
Woad is not camouflage makeup.
May not conduct psychological experiments on my chain of command.
"Teddy Bear, Teddy bear, turn around" is *not* a cadence.
The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."
I may not call block my chain of command.
I am neither the king nor queen of cheese.
Not allowed to wear a dress to any army functions.
May not bring a drag queen to the battalion formal dance.
May not form any press gangs.
Must not start any SITREP (Situation Report) with "I recently had an experience I just had to write you about...."
Must not use military vehicles to 'Squish' things.
Not allowed to make any Psychological Warfare products depicting the infamous Ft. Bragg sniper incident.
May not challenge anyone in my chain of command to the 'field of honor'.
If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
Must not refer to 1st Sgt as 'Mom'.
Must not refer to the Commander as 'Dad'.
Inflatable sheep do *not* need to be displayed during a room inspection.
I am not authorized to initiate Jihad.
When asked to give a few words at a military ceremony 'Romper Bomper Stomper Boo' is probably not appropriate.
Nerve gas is not funny.
Crucifixes do not ward off officers, and I should not test that.
I am not in need of a more suitable host body.
'Redneck Zombies' is not a military training aid.
Gozer does not dwell in my refrigerator.
The proper response to a chemical weapon attack is not 'Tell my chain of command what I really think about them, and then poke holes in their masks.'
A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield.
Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are.
I am not allowed to mount a bayonet on a crew-served weapon.
Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are "casualties of war".
My commander is not old enough to have fought in the civil war, and I should stop implying that he did.
Vodka, green food coloring, and a 'Cool Mint' Listerine® bottle is not a good combination.
I am not allowed to bum cigarettes off of anyone under twelve.
I may not trade my rifle for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, Kalishnikovs, Soviet Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CD.s.
Must not mock command decisions in front of the press.
Should not taunt members of the press, even if they are really fat, exceptionally stupid, and working for UPI.
I am not authorized to change national policy in Eastern Europe.
Never, ever, attempt to correct a Green Beret officer about anything.
I am not qualified to operate any US, German, Polish, or Russian Armored vehicles.
When saluting a 'leg' officer, an appropriate greeting is not "Airborne leads the wa- oh...sorry sir".
There is absolutely no need to emulate the people from 'Full Monty' every time I hear the song "Hot Stuff".
I cannot trade my CO to the Russians.
I should not speculate on the penis size of anyone who outranks me.
Crucifying mice - bad idea.
Must not use government equipment to bootleg pornography.
Burn pits for classified material are not revel fires - therefore it is wrong to dance naked around them.
I cannot arrest children for being rude.
An EO briefing is probably not the best place to unveil my newest off color joke.
I should not use government resources to 'waterproof' dirty magazines.
Radioactive material should not be stored in the barracks.
I should not teach other soldiers to say offensive and crude things in Albanian, under the guise of teaching them how to say potentially useful phrases.
Two drink limit does not mean first and last.
Two drink limit does not mean two kinds of drinks.
Two drink limit does not mean the drinks can be as large as I like.
'No Drinking Of Alcoholic Beverages' does not imply that a Jack Daniel's ® IV is acceptable.
"Shpadoinkle" is not a real word.
The Microsoft ® 'Dancing Paperclip' is not authorized to countermand any orders.
'I'm drunk' is a bad answer to any question posed by my commander.
No dancing in the turret. This especially applies in conjunction with rule #113.
The loudspeaker system is not a forum to voice my ideas.
The loudspeaker system is not to be used to replace the radio.
The loudspeaker system is not to be used to broadcast the soundtrack to a porno movie.
An order to put polish on my boots means the whole boot.
Shouting "Let's do the village! Let's do the whole fucking village!" while out on a mission is bad.
Should not show up at the front gate wearing part of a Russian uniform, messily drunk.
Even if my commander did it.
Must not teach interpreters how to make "MRE" bombs.
I am not authorized to sell mineral rights.
Not allowed to use a broadsword to disprove 'The Pen is Mightier than the sword'.
'Calvin-Ball' is not authorized PT.
I do not need to keep a 'range card' by my window.
'K-Pot, LBE, and a thin coat of Break-free' is not an authorized uniform.
I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.
Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.
I should not threaten suicide with pop rocks and Coke ®.
Putting red 'Mike and Ike's' ® into a prescription medicine bottle, and then eating them all in a formation is not funny.
Must not create new DOD forms, then insist they be filled out.
On Sports Day PT, a wedgie is not considered a legal tackle.
The proper way to report to my Commander is 'Specialist Schwarz, reporting as ordered, Sir' not 'You can't prove a thing!'
The following items do not exist: Keys to the Drop Zone, A box of grid squares, blinker fluid, winter air for tires, canopy lights, or Chem-Light ® batteries.
I should not assign new privates to 'guard the flight line'.
Shouldn't treat 'piss-bottles' with extra-strength icy hot.
Teaching Albanian children to taunt other soldiers is not nice.
I will no longer perform 'lap-dances' while in uniform.
If I take the uniform off, in the course of the lap-dance, it still counts.
The revolution is not now.
When detained by MP's, I do not have a right to a strip search.
No part of the military uniform is edible.
Bodychecking General officers is not a good idea.
Past lives have absolutely no effect on the chain of command.
Take that hat off.
There is no such thing as a were-virgin.
I do not get 'that time of month'.
No, the pants are not optional.
Not allowed to operate a business out of the barracks.
Especially not a pornographic movie studio.
Not even if they *are* 'especially patriotic films'
Not allowed to 'defect' to OPFOR during training missions.
On training missions, try not to shoot down the General's helicopter.
'A full magazine and some privacy' is not the way to help a potential suicide.
I am not allowed to create new levels of security clearance.
Furby ® is not allowed into classified areas. (I swear to the gods, I did not make that up, it's actually DOD policy).
We do not 'charge into battle, naked, like the Celts'.
Any device that can crawl across the table on medium, does not need to be brought into the office.
I am not to refer to a formation as 'the boxy rectangle thingie'.
I am not 'A lesbian trapped in a man's body'.
On Army documents, my race is not 'Other'.
Nor is it 'Secretariat, in the third'.
Pokémon® trainer is not an MOS.
There is no FM for 'wall-to-wall counseling'.
My chain of command has neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Fruit Roll-Ups. ®
When operating a military vehicle I may *not* attempt something 'I saw in a cartoon'.
My name is not a killing word.
I am not the Emperor of anything.
Must not taunt officers in the throes of nicotine withdrawal, with cigarettes.
May not challenge officers to 'Meet me on the field of honor, at dawn'.
Do not dare SERE graduates to eat bugs. They will always do it.
Must not make s'mores while on guard duty.
Our Humvees cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot.
The proper response to a briefing is not 'That's what you think'.
The Masons and Gray Aliens are not in our chain of command.
Shouldn't take incriminating photos of my chain of command.
Shouldn't use Photoshop ® to create incriminating photos of my chain of command.
I am not allowed to give tattoos.
I am not allowed to sing 'Henry the VIII I am' until verse 68 ever again.
Not allowed to lead a 'Coup' during training missions.
I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born.
My chain of command is not interested in why I 'just happen' to have a kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in the back of my car.
Must not valiantly push officers onto hand grenades to save the squad.
Despite the confusing similarity in the names, the "Safety Dance" and the "Safety Briefing" are never to be combined.
'To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is a bad long term goal to give the re-enlistment NCO.
NEVER nail a stuffed bunny to a cross and put it up in front of the Battalion Headquarters sign as an "Easter Desecration."
Don't write up false gigs on a HMMWV PMCS. ("Broken clutch pedal", "Number three turbine has frequent flame-outs", "flux capacitor emits loud whine when engaged")
Not allowed to get shot.
The Chicken and Rice MRE is *not* a personal lubricant. (Skippy wanted this noted for the record that this is not something he has ever attempted or considered! It was something we heard at dinner on 22 September 2001 and it was just so obscene it had to go here.)
Not allowed to play into the deluded fantasies of the civlians who are "hearing conversations" from the NSA, FBI, CIA and KGB due to the microchip the aliens implanted in their brain.
An airsickness bag is to be used for airsickness *only*. (Also not a Skippy-ism...this was the same dinner.)
Must not make T-shirts up depciting a pig with the writing "Eat Pork or Die" in Arabic to bring as civilian attire when preparing to deploy to a primarily Muslim country.
Don't ask LTC Steele to sign my copy of Blackhawk Down.
Must not go on nine deployments in six years that require a security clearance that I don't have, even if the Army tells me repeatedly that I have one and I have no reason to question them.
Do not convince NCO's that their razorbumps are the result of microscopic parasites.

525770  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-03-18
Written: (5298 days ago)

Hamlet's father is the true cause of the death of the royal family. His exceptionally unscrupulous appearance to Hamlet, and his subsequent conversation, if you can call it that, have an immediate and very drastic effect on Hamlet's mental well-being, which is then the cause of the unfortunate and untimely ends of each of the court members. Hamlet acts rashly and impulsively when he talks with Gertrude and "accidentally" kills Polonius. This death, along with his uncouth interactions with Ophilia, invoke a madness upon her that leads to her drowning, an end that seems to have come to her no more maliciously than the "flowers" she hands to her brother in an earlier scene. The death of Ophilia and Polonius couples together to be more than enough to send Laertes into a fit of rage, which leads him to conspire with Claudius against Hamlet, a plot which directly leads to the deaths of Hamlet, Claudius, Gertrude, and Laertes himself. All of this is to ignore the bit about Rosencratz and Guildenstern, sent to die in an act of malificience which gives Hamlet a strange twist as a cold and cruel character.
First off, Shakespeare makes very clear the change in Hamlet, and he does show the full effect that the ghost has had upon Hamlet's fragile psyche. In Act 1, Scene 4, Hamlet is waiting with Horatio, Marcellus, and Barnardo. Then, Hamlet experiences the little father-son talk in Act 1, Scene 5, a chat which occupies the whole of that scene. The interesting thing here, though, is that when Hamlet returns to Horatio, and Marcellus, his attitude towards them has suddenly very muched changed, but not in a positive way. He has become extremely paranoid. In Scene 4, Hamlet speaks a total of 67 lines, of which 14 are spent in telling the others that he will follow the ghost, while the rest is spent in idle banter (7) or gossip (26) or awed wonder (19). It is clear by both the quantity and quality of Hamlet's words that, at this point, he is a rather agreeable individual, all things considered, and he is not in any real way stand-offish. However, as soon as he has returned from the ghost, he spends 24 lines being very suspicious of his former companions, believing that they cannot be trusted with secrets. Out of a total of 66 lines after the ghostly confrontation, Hamlet spends 32 lines just making Horatio and Marcellus swear to never relate to anyone what they have seen and/or heard, even going so far as to ask them to swear 7 times, 4 of which he specifies "upon my sword", to which they agree 5 times and then cease to speak completely. The ghost also decides to throw in his six-pence by telling them to swear 4 times as well, and he becomes so persistant in his participation that his orders that the others swear seems to completely eclipse any chance they had of complying. This is a lot of numbers which at first may not seem to mean very much, but there are a few of these numbers which are especially significant: for example, I find it difficult to believe that it could be an accident that Hamlet's 67 lines of rational and reasonably friendly talk from beforehand compare so closely and contrast so directly with his 66 lines of paranoia and suspicion afterwards. Shakespeare is illustrating, in the very length of the lines, as well as the words, the change and deteroration in Hamlet's persona as a result of the confrontation. The one test which I elected not to do was to count syllables, to see how this would all affect the time the lines require to say, as a more accurate measure of how much time is given to which: the reasoning behind this choice was that I do not know the extent to which the text has been translated, and so cannot interprete Shakespeare by syllables he didn't necessarily write.
The effect of the visit does not end here, however. Not at all. Upon his return, he unleashes his new-found paranoia upon Ophilia, with harsh emotional consequences. She notices the deteroration of Hamlet's control over himself ("Oh, what a noble mind is here o'erthrown!..."; Act 3, Scene 1, line 163) - in essence, his sanity - and her observation of this is the door through which she later slips through herself to madness ("O, woe is me t' have seen what I have seen, see what I see!"; Act 3, Scene 1, line 175), and thusly to drowning. This is not the only instance of his acting out upon others. However, the others, which generally involve his interaction with actors, or Rosencratz and Guildenstern, are primarily insignificant, doing little more than sustaining the sense of instability - the anal retentive attitude towards the method of acting ("... it offends me to the soul to hear a... fellow tear a passion to tatters..."; Act 3, Scene 2, Line 9), or the self-distressed monologue ("O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I..."; Act 2, Scene 2, Line 577). His condition has grown more severe by the time we reach Act 3, Scene 4, wherein Hamlet confronts his mother and begins practically frothing at the mouth in his fervor and unhappiness towards her. His mental stability / rational baseness has gone to such a degree that in Act 3, Scene 4, Line 32, he can calmly ask if he's killed the king ("Nay, I know not. Is it the King?"), and then not give any real response of emotion once he finds that he has killed Polonius. His words become more and more enraged, more and more volatile, and it becomes less and less certain that he will make good on his resolution to do her no harm: that is, until line 117, when the ghost, as if he finally realized the true effect he's had upon Hamlet, shows up to tell his son right, and suddenly Hamlet becomes reasonably stable, once again. The overall effect of the entire thing is the same as it would be with cancer: caused by an abarrition (radiation), malignant and deadly to those who must deal with it, and curbed by an abarrition (as with kemotherapy). But here, we observe that the cancer has spread beyond Hamlet himself, so "cured" though he may be, the damage has already been done.
This much is made clear by the next arrival of Ophilia ("Where is the beautious Majsty of Denmark?"; Act 4, Scene 5, Line 26), who is at this point very much stark raving mad. She leaves, and Laertes enters ("Where is this king? -sirs, stand you all without"; Act 4, Scene 5, Line 122), already in a considerably bad temper which was caused by Hamlet's temporary insanity, courtesy of his father, which leads him to kill Laertes' father. However, it is not until Laertes encounters his deranged sister ("O heat, dry up my brains!..."; Act 4, Scene 5, Line 178), again, courtesy of Hamlet, courtesy of the ghost, that Laertes really loses it (Later explicitly illustrated in Act 5, Scene 1, line 262, where he jumps down into Ophilia's grave). It is enough to make Laertes succinctly drop his grudge against Claudius and take up a grudge against Hamlet, and in so doing sets out the plan that would end up with plenty of additional ghosts to keep Hamlets father company. Hamlet's plague, as it were, is brought to its end with Gertrude, the character who suffered it least despite her contact with it. However, her disobedience to Claudius over such a little thing as drinking ("I will, my lord; I pray you pardon me."; Act 5, Scene 2, line 318), shows that Hamlet did indeed have an effect upon her, and once again, it leads to her death ("The drink, the drink! I am poisoned."; Act 5, Scene 2, line 341).
Ultimately, all the death was caused by this domino effect, as started by the ghost himself. Had he not imposed himself upon Hamlet's life, or perhaps waited some time longer to go about doing so, all of this would have turned out very differently. Hamlet himself starts off seeing the ghost as a frightful thing, something which can mean no good to anyone. All of these are Hamlet from Act 1, Scene 2: "Tis very strange...(233) ...this troubles me...(237) Armed, say you?(240) What, looked he frowningly?(246)". Clearly, Hamlet is less overjoyed at this knews than he is shocked and fearful. Horatio sets the foreshadowing very well when he says that the ghost might "deprive your soverignty of reason and draw you into madness", or "what if it tempt you to the flood, my lord? Or to the dreadful summit of the cliff... and there assume some horrible form" (Act 1, Scene 4, Line 77). It ends up being that Horatio, the only one who really listened to his own advise here, is the only member of the court left alive at the end of the play.

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