[spletje]'s diary

787682  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-05-03
Written: (5089 days ago)

I was blind, didn't have a clue
but my deepest fears have finally come true
to die it seems, solution for all,
there's no one to care for me if I fall.

Happiness lost, my dreams fade away
nothing left for me to say...
you were my hope, you were my dreams,
you were my light, all gone it seems.

left by myself, and silently I wait,
to fall in this shadow, a dyning bait,
for shadows to lure,
or death to occure

776130  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-04-11
Written: (5111 days ago)

take the knife, cut my vein,
see the blood, feel my pain,
bleed me dry, cry your tears,
take my life, dream my fears...

776100  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-04-08
Written: (5111 days ago)

sometimes, the best things that happen to me,
are the things i can't hold on to...
we used to be together, she was my other half,
and i lost it all to another boy...
when I'm gone, who will be left,
to cry over me?

no one...

144772  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-09-03
Written: (5897 days ago)

menselijke warmte heeft me nodeloos verbrandt...

259681  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-06-18
Written: (5774 days ago)

after my first try's in writing poems, here is the second part:

The treason
And trough my dying breath,
I longer for my death,
My faith is yours to choose,
Afraid for what I'll lose

My hand is covering the cut,
The door of life is closing shut
The blood is dripping, and so is life
My life is ended by thy knife.

Its funny that I'm killed by thee,
Because you made me believe in me.
And all I see fainting to black,
My love has died, no turning back

The beauty of war
The bombs have dropped, presents from the sky,
Watch them kill and watch them fly.
The beauty it holds is rarely seen,
The darkness it brings will never be keen.

The buildings are raised, the sky has turned grey,
The corpses are scattered, theres so much decay!
And now I ask myself, what is the use,
To rule a country demolished, to abuse?

My pain I hold
My head is spinning, I'm far away,
The world I see has turned to grey
My heart is bleeding, my soul is dark
I'm greatly suffering by your mark

My life is fragile, see me weep
The pain I hold goes way to deep

And as I go I surely know,
My life is melting like first snow
Dont cry for me, I'm already dead,
The life's consumed, the words are said

The flames of loss
The city is burning, I hold no rest
I have to leave to solve this quest
My friends have died, my family too,
I ask these questions, for what, by who?

I took my sword, forged in dark steel,
I want revenge, I shall not kneel!
My path is chosen, the dice are rolled,
And though I'm dying, I feel no cold

The fire consuming, burning my flesh
My soul is acing, I am forsaken,
The story is ended, I let it unfold

Bleeding trough tears
My eyes are wondering, who can I trust?
My body is itching, through heaven I must
I'm crying, tears running down my cheek,
A restless soul serenity I seek

As night falls
The night has fallen, and now you're here
Your face is screaming, covered in fear
You have encountered my brutal claws
And as your dying , you'll feel my claws,
Kissing your neck in a deadly grin

The night is mine and you're my prey
And all I say you will obey
you are the one on whom I feed
you are the blood I deeply need,
kissing your neck in a hellish grin.

My teeth are glancing in the night,
The moon is shining in heavenly might
I am your master and summon thee,
You are my slave I let you be,
Kissing your neck in heavenly sin

The oppression of our foe
Eyes are watching every track
The enemy's luring, awaiting attack
Our lines have been broken, and only a few,
Remain to fight in this battle, but I'm missing you.

And though I'm certain, of what will happen next,
I write you this letter, it is my last text
And now I stand here, formation in line,
As death awaits me, I shall not decline

For freedom I do this, I know it's cliché
But with values to trust in, it'll all be okay
Cause if I trust in the future,
The past won't succeed
And as present's derailing
Our sacrifice will beat,
The oppression of our foe

For my love, and no one else
Your eyes are staring into me
And with my own I can finally see
What life has taken from me years before
With you I am happy, nevermore

Your hands caressing, my demons asleep
Inside my bubble, our love grows so deep
You lips are forming in my dreams
No longer awakened by my own screams

I fear the day you'll come to me,
And leave me there to finally be
On my own again, naked and cold
You can't imagine the feelings I hold,
For you my love, and no one else

The grave
And here I am to finally dig
In my solitude tormented and sick
My greave is ready, and now I'll be gone
Who will I remember, once earthy life done?

When angels cry and demons laugh
The shadows are falling, covering the land
I'm awaiting your coming, my axe in my hand
I remember the time, when we were best friends
But all good things change, even friendship ends

I chose for the light, you chose for the dark
I am a free person, you're burned by the mark
Tomorrow our duel will surely begin
Losing a friend, I will carry this sin
And take it to my grave, to never let go
The moment I killed you, with a striking blow

The fire in your eyes has fainted to black
Another dead body to put on the stack
But I will never forget, my dearest friend,
Not now, not tomorrow, until the end

My story
This is my story,
Believe it or not
I created this world,
for that I am god!

You say I'm a psycho, I say you are right
I lay you down my feet,
A grin revealing my teeth
Do you see I was right?!

You say you don't fear me
Let me prove you wrong
The knife I hold, it's blade is cold,
Your body floating in mud
The story I told,
Is written in blood

The crow
The crow is flying so heavenly high,
His eyes appealing, cutting the sky.
His wings are feathered in beautiful black
He crosses the land, never looks back

Descending on earth, a beauty so rare,
The sky is the limit, in amazement I stare
The freedom it holds, so pure and so fresh
Envy I hold, burning under my flesh

A snapping sound comes, and so I look up,
A hunter has shot him, life giving up
He hits the ground, I fall on my knee,
A tear of blood is falling from thee

I take you in my hands, your head falling back
Your eyes once so shiny, are turning to black
A feather comes loose, the wind carries it on,
Fragile life ended, your story is done

A whole life is taken by that one aim
I tuck you in, oh what a shame!
And though your rest now under ground,
This loss I feel, really profound

God has lost
God has died, look what he left,
A world corrupted by murder and theft!

Why you had to leave?
Your regret can never change,
The feelings I hold, this rage
For what you did, and I wont lie,
Once in a while, I sit down and cry

You say that you’re sorry, but does it matter anymore?
I won’t be your victim, And therefore,
I’m leaving you be, decide what you want,
Your decision is hurting, thats something I can't

I hope to live but I am dead
I hope to live but I am dead,
These empty thoughts are clouding my head:

I seek the truth but only find lies,
I long for hope but I get cries
In search of love only to find hate
I want my destiny, I know my faith

I long for peace and I get war
I want you close yet you are far
I want to scream but I am still
I need some warmth 'cause I am chill

I want the future, I get the past,
I want it slow it all goes fast
I need a friend, an enemy comes,
I want the tops yet reaches the bottoms

I want to sleep yet I'm awake,
I wan to give but only take
I want to feel but now I'm numb
You say I'm smart, I say I'm dumb

I long for today yet it is night
The shadows turning, I want the light
All I actually want is for me again,
To live normally again like any other men

Poème nostalgique
Le ciel pleure des larmes,
Sentiments estompés,
Ton cœur plein de charme,
La nuit vient de tomber

La brume couvre les plaines,
Mon âme apaisé
Je te couronne ma reine,
Je te dédie mes baisers

La lune chante un poème,
Sentiment déprimés,
Je voudrais dire que je t'aime
Mais ma reine est tombé

Lettre à un ami
Tu as disparu, je me sens si vide,
Mes larmes déversés, tous pour ton suicide

Ton sang a coulé, a travers tes veines,
Le monde disparu, a cause de tes peines

T’était mon ami, je t'oublierai pas,
Les sentiments trop fort, je pleure pour toi

La mort ta enlacé, dans sa dernière prise
Une tombe solanée en guise
De mon amitié

La perte de mon âme
Le vent chante une chanson apaisante,
Ma vie ressemble à une longue descente
En enfer, plus rien sur mon chemin,
Tout a été détruit, je ne possède plus rien

Les sentiments flou, jai perdu la foi,
T’est sorti de ma vie, je n'ai plus le droit
De te prendre dan mes bras, tes mains dans les miennes,
Une mort apaisante, je souhaite quelle vienne
Me délivrer de cette vie pourri,
Mais tu ne m'aime plus, il faut que j'oublie

Daarvoor, dank je
Ik gluur door het raampje,
Met tralies bedekt
Ik denk aan de vreugde,
Die mijn herinnering stekt

De spiegel ontwijk ik,
Spiegelbeeld ver
Die flitsende blik,
Een vallende ster

Ik weet niet wat te doen,
Bevreesd kijk ik toe
Het leven ontglipt mij,
Futloos, zo moe!

Ik ben niet meer,
Maar wij herinnert mij?
De enige die een traan vergoot op mijn begrafenis,
Dat was jij
Daarvoor, dank je

Mijn zonnetje
Ik denk aan die dag waarop je zei,
Ik hou van jou, jij bent van mij
Die dag in kwestie vergeet ik nooit
Mijn kille hart terug ontdooit

De brug staat er verlaten bij
Het water wacht, niet meer voor mij
Ik rij erlangs, ga steeds rechtdoor,
Met jou bij mij ga ik ervoor!

En in de straat is het zo kil,
De zon schijnt en het is windstil
Maar als mijn zonnetje wederkeert,
Heb ik het warm, ben ik vereerd,
Gelukkig dat ik jou nog heb

248568  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-06-08
Written: (5783 days ago)

i was really bored, so i started to write poems, even though i suck in it...

so here goes:
And forever shall it be
Your freedom will I hear,
No longer any fear…
Even death cannot deny,
For this I want to die…

In you I put my trust,
Trough victory, I must…
Evil shall forever fall,
For this I would sacrifice it all…

Peace within my grasp,
Breathing heavier, with a gasp,
And forever shall it be,
For peace, for freedom and for thee…

The death of my love
No longer are you here,
My spirit shivering of fear,
My heart is broken, where is the thrust?
You’re gone my love, winning I must…

Though pain and death are closing in,
I have to pay for all my sin…
Because of me now you are dead,
And all I feel is anger, regret…

I praise thy lord for your sake,
Sacrificing you was a mistake.
And now that our people are finally free,
I cannot live for I’m without thee…

I hope you can forgive my deed,
‘cause your love is all in this world I need.
And with these words I want to die,
Don’t shed no tears for me, don’t cry…

My wound
An angel of mercy descends on earth,
Is this death or is this birth?
I do not know and I won’t ask,
I know my destiny, I know my task.

The battle will surely begin,
Sky’s turning red, I regret my sin…
I have to fight, I have to pay,
With blades of steel, on earth of clay…

Body’s and corpses covering the field,
My blade is stained, so is my shield.
My blood is dripping through every poor,
I feel abused, I am a whore!

For too long I fought for thee,
I was blind but now I see.
The future can’t undo the past,
Forgive me father, but forget me fast…

The cigarette
The smoke quietly fills my head,
Every pull takes me closer to my dead…
My lungs tainted black, tissue filled with tar,
Condition decreasing, my health is far.

But now I’m here, and without care,
Suffocating, catching no air…
But my mind is clear, and so are my thoughts…
Lung cancer, what are the odds?

Notice the signs
This is our story, come read the lines,
It’s pure and true, and softly mine’s
My heart consuming, no longer a stone
The wind is whispering a silent tone

You are the one you are my light
You are my love come hold me tight
You are my reason, let it be
The stars are shining for us, can’t you see?

Your pretty eyes are all I need,
My feelings growing just like a seed
Your skin feels softer than the sky
My love for you will never die

The leaves are singing, can’t you hear?
Feelings of happiness when you are near…
And with these words I’ll let you be,
I think of you, will you think of me?

The modern society, the death of society
Those little girls did nothing wrong,
That evil man was just too strong

He came along, a search began,
The corpses found,
Buried six feet under ground!

I fear this world, I don’t feel safe
The only secure place left, is a sleeping grave

And though society holds no grunch,
I know some people I wanna punch!
But who am I, to say what’s good or bad?
The delinquent victim, I know it’s sad…

167730  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2004-03-14
Written: (5869 days ago)

don't cry for me, i'm already dead...

167728  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2004-03-13
Written: (5869 days ago)

"People once believed, that when someone dies, a crow carries their soul to the land of the dead. But sometimes, something so bad happens, that a terrible sadness is carried with it and the soul can't rest. Then sometimes, just sometimes, the crow could bring that soul back to put the wrong things right."

156958  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-03-02
Written: (5881 days ago)

there is something cold and blank
behind her smile,
she standing on an overpass,
in a miracle mile,
'cause you were from a perfect world,
a world that trew me today,
to run away...

152792  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-02-26
Written: (5887 days ago)

one man's fun is another's hell...

151938  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2004-02-25
Written: (5888 days ago)

deep into that darkness peering,
long i stood there, wandering, fearing,
doubting, dreaming dreams,
no mortal ever dreamed before...

148711  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-02-20
Written: (5892 days ago)

don't cry for me, i'm allready dead...

148718  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-02-19
Written: (5892 days ago)

we were one, we were all you were the only,
future full of hope nothing could stand in our way
but dreams can change, visions fall i feel so lonely,
i would walk trough fire for just one more day...

so i say farewell, i'm yours forever,
and i always will be...

144767  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2004-02-15
Written: (5897 days ago)

the time is close now,
the end is near...
my walk trough the valley
trails of fear
i feel empty
my pain is overdue
i guess it's too late now,
to be with you
i'm extremely frightened
of what will surely be...
i sold myself, the death of me...
i know you can't forgive me, i know i'm on my own
i know that i've betrayed you...
i walk alone...

144768  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2004-02-14
Written: (5897 days ago)

lord i pound my fist at you
would you just let me die
have i not suffered enough, no way of peace!
no afterlife!

156984  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2003-12-25
Written: (5881 days ago)

Dead, Dead, Dead
Someday you'll be dead.
Dead, Dead, Dead
Someday we'll all be dead.

The minute we're born we start dying
We die a little more every day
Young or old Rich or poor
There's nothing we can do to stop it
So look long at that Christmas tree
It may be the last one that you see.
Decorate your house in green and red
'Cause someday you'll be dead.

Dead, Dead, Dead
Someday you'll be dead
Dead, Dead, Dead
Someday we'll all be dead

It might happen in a couple months
Or 50 years from now
But no matter when it happens
It will seem too soon to you.
So be sure on Christmas Eve
When you snuggle into bed
That you thank God for your family
'Cause someday they'll be dead.

Dead, Dead, Dead
Someday they'll be dead
Dead, Dead, Dead
Someday we'll all be dead

Who knows how many Christmases are left in their short life?
Nobody knows, that my point,
Enjoy them while you can.
And so on Christmas morning
Let good tidings fill your head.
What a festive season

Someday you'll be dead.
Dead, Dead, Dead
Someday we'll be dead
Dead, Dead, Dead
Everyone you know, dead

A Very Merry Christmas to you
Dead, Dead, Dead.

144769  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2003-06-24
Written: (5897 days ago)

i did what i though was wright,
all for the love of my life
something is very wrong
condemned to suffer so long
for a love so true

question that lies within
so hard to understand
is to tear at me
and in my dying breath
my heart longers no regrets...

my spirit begins to rise
to the heavenly skies
just to be shown the way by you
now all i want is to die
no streets of gold in the sky
and i wash my off you!

16242  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2003-03-25
Written: (6224 days ago)

Their's much more to life than what you see...

14561  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2003-03-16
Written: (6234 days ago)

Sleep well little child,
The Lords holds thee now...

14560  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2003-03-16
Written: (6234 days ago)

i'm not all you wished of me,
i took your love for granted,
and all the things you said to me...
and now i'm coming home,
but a cold stone is all i see...

14387  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2003-03-15
Written: (6235 days ago)

Now I lay me down to sleep,
Pray the lord my soul to keep,
If I die before I wake,
Pray the lord my soul to take...

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