If missing you is a crime, then I am in for life. Sometimes I feel sickened, because I can't get you out of my head. Then once you are gone, I am slapped in the face with you again. Tonight I opened up my school notebook and out fell a letter from you. It was like watching my past fall and once catching it, all I wanted to do was throw it all away again. I keep crossing this line, maybe expecting something new. But I am different now. There are hard lines next to my eyes and mouth. My friend said, you can see pain. I just want to talk to you one more time. I don't want to hate you anymore. I don't want YOU hating me anymore. I want my childhood friend back. Everyone makes mistakes. I have made a lot.
"What are you afraid of? I know you are..Keep it in your sights now, don't let it go far.. What are you afraid of? Making it better? Wonder where your heart came from..."
Sometimes I wonder if life in The Giver is already happening..
The Sun will keep shinning and the Sun will keep setting. The days repeating. Time has a way for this to get easier to handle, shoulders and legs stronger to carry the burden. Sometimes the burden becomes a weapon or a tool to the greater things life has before you. Even better when you can smile, and see that there is a lot of good that comes out of so much bad. I like sunglasses for that.
But the Sun's cousin the Moon, comes out to play each night. She brings her friends, the Shadows, a reflection of the things missed dearly. Of another life where it would be different. A dangerous path. For the moon cannot stay forever, and neither can the heart play with such sweet Shadows of the past. The moon will shine on them, and make them friendly once more.
But the sun must rise, everyday. She tells no lies.
Then the day breaks, it's a pause in time. The cousins meet to play for a short time. A world half in sun, and half in glitters and shadows. You hope it would stay. That a portal would open from your hearts dreams and wants, to fix the mistakes you made. To heal the ones you hurt. To paint a new picture. The Shadows of the Moon and Sun collide into one, and for a moment all is still, holding it's breathe. A hearts portal is opened for a moment. Then it's gone and another day is blooming. Are those colours in the sky my heart bleeding? Are they from the door of my mind, soul, heart? For a moment it's just you and the Earth, breathing together and feeding into each others wants and needs. Of course it is all for you. You built these dreams of colours and darkness. But you also built this blinding light of hope. The Sun is here to remind you of another day. Until sunset...