Hey, my name's Charles Richard Jones...
I wrote this poem for the one girl I most regret losing. I lost her because I was stupid, childish, and didn't consider her like I should have. I may never have her back, but I would like to take every second of my life, ever since I messed up, to let her know... I'm truly sorry, beyond measure and capacity, for everything I did, Lauren. I'll never have the peace I've wanted for years, by now on January 28, 2013 it'll be coming up to 10 years that I made that crucial mistake.
The Memories That Haunt, They Can Be Immeasurable
The world keeps spinning, shades of thoughts
a feeling of immeasurable pain seeps in
somehow an emotion slipped, a feeling free
a memory twisted away from its placement
and the edge of tears corrupt dry eyes.
A time ago, something flourished inside him
a feeling seemingly of peace and happiness
the words flowed, the smiles kept on coming
a moment of weakness surfaced, stupidity
a mistake that would be held in time, frozen.
He kept up his banter, filled with malice
she kept trying to explain, from truth
he kept being ignorant, not listening to her
she fell silent, no longer trying to say
he is left to ask for a forgiveness not given.
Years trudge by, pain seeps within and flourishes
behind the walls, hiding what emotions make him
trying not to let them go, to punish himself more
keeping them fresh on the page, a tortured soul
only willing to provide a penance cast with shame.
Over and over again, he tries to make it right
he tries to write her, to let her know how it is
tells her that he was wrong, says he's sorry
he can't let it go, can't let it die away just yet
he wants to make sure he didn't destroy her.
No replies has she made, no word of notice
no acknowledgement, only bitter silence chatters
she was more than he thought she was to him
not just a mere gal, not only another person
he ruined it with his ignorance, possibly ruined her.
Time floats by some more, he thinks of her
he wants to reach out and find her, hesitant
he wants to make sure she's happy, content
he doesn't want to be the one that ruined her
because she was the reason he made it through...
-Charles R. Jones-
Karma's Not Always Good
Thoughts Of Remorse