In my life I've always sought after what was true. The truth of reality and living and simply being real. That said It's once again for a drastic change in my life and social influence and just who I determine a friend. Hence why my friend list is edited. I don't see why I have people on a list for friends when they never message me. Unless its because I deleted them. I mean I used to be friends with allot of people but even then you never really knew me nor I you. So then what is there but a superficial relationship? Anyone worth calling a friend proves it in action, not just in flattering words for no reason. I am sick of people just being fake and superficial. Be real, think for yourself. Do something different, provoke a conversation. Be bold and don't be afraid to say what you want to say. So long as you can hear the other man out as well, given that he has a piece to speak. Offer a mutual respect. Its then that you build real friendships, the kind of friendships that I'm interested in anyway.
If You'd like to get to know me, ask me anything. Ill answer truthfully. As we converse and build a basis for a friendship... well you get it.
I wont just add people because I bantered with them once. I find often I never talk to these people again and then I just have a random contact on my list for no reason. So given that I see a point in adding you, I will.
A little of who I am:
I am a survivor, a fighter in this crazy thing called life. Been through hell and back, beaten odds people said id never beat. I have more faith and more strength than your average character. Oh and I also speak what I need to speak boldly. I speak with confidence, birthed from experience lived in life. Should people have an ear to listen anyway, often I know when to speak and when not to, but sometimes you have to just let loose on some people. Let them know where you stand, or in the pursuit of being a true friend, speaking truth hurts and is often challenging. What do I live for if not to be challenged and then to challenge others? I seek to be inspired and to inspire others. Mainly and mostly in faith in Jesus, in God. As I AM a Christian, and proud to be so. Should ANYONE ever DARE try to pray you'll meet Him as well. Ive seen it done and will continue to do so through out my life. Ask anyone of my doubting friends who said as boldly as i used to say, "there is no God and if there is Ill never fallow him." Yeap, Ive eaten those words since and so have a few others in my life that have been close by.
I like how people say I cant affect change, I cant change people.... Well your right but I know someone who can. Its all a matter of patients and persistence in the oldest discipline, one the world as long since forgotten... and that is simply true love. Love that God first showed to us, we live by example and then thusly move and inspire others.
Am I perfect? By no means, I fail and mess up plenty and thats why I seek God, to work out my salvation, to always grow and learn and better myself. I don't judge people, thats not my job, and why would I when i was once as anyone else.... another person who stood against every possibility of there being a God. A note of failing and messing up.... its not about how much you screw up, fail, or fall... its how many times you are willing to get back up, try again, and try harder. No not in my own strength but with God as my guide and not as a crutch, by no means. If your one of those people who instantly figure Christians are weak and the whole "God concept" is just a crutch, your damn ignorant. As anyone who ever for a moment experienced real faith, real love from God, knows its a hard pursuit, a hard life to fallow God. True Christians are hard to come and often people only meet hypocritical, judge-mental religious people who are to busy condemning to ever show any sign of the love their father commands of them to show to others.
You want to smash a hard one home to someone who claims to be Christian, Ask them humbly, what ever happened to forgiveness, grace, mercy and ultimately unconditional love? There I've give you a bullet to convict Christians. Its true and many Christians will agree with you, theres far to many judging and failing to love as Christians should. Thats how you usually weed out the self righteous from the humble at heart. Well its evident I'm passionate about God, as Ive recently come full swing back into the faith and well to say the least at this point in time things are going great.
If I were to say what else I was passionate about it would be as fallows. Music for one, mostly everything except shitty rap music and all pop music. I'm inspired to play guitar and write lyrics. Which leads me to also say that I am a writer, and intend to go to college at some point to pursue that path fully. Id love to write books one day, be a published poet and have written a few songs.
I must also say that I'm passionate about my future role as a father, one I intend to do my best on and be the father that my father failed to be.
This is where I speak freely about what ever and whom ever I wish how ever I wish Its brutally real and simply me. Given what ever state I may be in. Don't read it if your just going to later take offense and judge me. On the other hand if your curious enough to see what goes on in my head, then read it.
I don't believe I have anything to hide. Nor should anyone really. I live to be real and truthful. Weather it offends or not, I know not everyone will like me nor I like everyone. But thats where patients, understanding and a little wisdom comes in. Eventually at the very least there should always be a mutual respect.
I'd like to figure that through whats given here, in my blog and poems, it's sufficient to initiate a conversation. It's a challenge to really get to know someone. And I challenge you.
Poems By Me.
Its just a matter of a moment , a thought misplaced,
or one fought, tossed only later to be embraced.
This is the meandering of my mind in moments.
Capturing instances of inspiration to influence.
Its a delicate dance between words and worlds,
To dive and delve within oneself, to be unfurled.
My soul spilled out in an attempt to just keep it real.
An all bearing moment to passionately express how I feel.
I muster all my strength together and get ready,
I know in my heart who I am, its time to meet destiny.
Step to the beat and set the pace for a quicker race,
the harder things get the bigger the grin on my face.
I am never going to give in always gonna keep livin'
So long as I breathe ill fight another day and keep givin.
When its all said and done and my wars have been won,
Ill gladly bear my battle scars and share how far I've come.
When I've made it to my limit, Ill remember the climb,
Ill be reaching my hand out, never leave a friend behind.
Maybe then if they did too, we'd all make it through,
Ultimately changing the world, by testing hearts that are true.
April 7, 07
Going Through the Grinder:
Mind tormented and twisted like mad,
something of mysteries and monsters.
Lying by omission and self kept secretes,
todays seduction into sorrow,
a taste of bitterness left for tomorrow.
Thrashed by the realities of truth,
to hang on by a thread and live.
To have learned and grown,
to have gone through the grinder
and now know I am stronger.
Dreams now birthed in freedom,
no longer held back by limitations.
Its only a matter of imagination,
An ignition of sheer will power to over come.
to unhardened my heart and not be numb.
March 31, 07
Believe. Just believe.