Big Steph, Big Emma, Ian & Lil Emma:D
Key for Lecturers
David Gleeson = US History
Joe Street = US History
Mr Hmm = The Gay Law Lecturer
Kevin Kerrigan = Steph's Law Lecturer
Stine (pronounced Stina) = The Norwegian student
*licks Ian* Ooh! You taste like you smell nice
Why have I got a nose in my ear?
Cos your ear's warm and my nose is cold
It's like ear sex, but with a nose...
*After a lengthy conversation about size, length and holes*
Belts are quite dirty aren't they?
I've got a crold crotch
Why doesn't he just get a pie and stick his penis in that?
Oh no, no an M&S advert! It's like the middle classes just shat on me
I'm having a straight day today
I was having a gay day yesterday
*still looks confused*
You know those days you just wake up and are like *makes manly cleary throat noise* and the those other days you're just like *makes girly Oooh! noise*
I know I'm not manly cos I don't get uncomfortable going shopping in women's clothes
She was playing with her ears like she was masturbating them
I said Forehead
I heard Floorhead
I heard Foreskin
Dare I say, but my sausage is hot
I read that and thought it said breasts
'Fantastic Breasts and Where to Find Them'?
Yeah I thought it was a bit out there for J.K.Rowling
John Taplin? Tapelin?
Just call me Tapas. Everyone else does
Why? 'Cos you're small and Spanish?
I made this monster sandwich. Ahhh it was like getting a kiss from God! Not that I'm religious or anything....
*talking about realist literary critics*
He wrote about real people. Not about someone who's trying to shag Mr. Darcy
*After seeing a map of Europe in 1500*
Belgium doesn't exist? But what about the chocolate!!
I was in London the weekend of the bombings
(on Msn after sending licking emotes) Mine was more special. Mine contained flu :D
Oh I wasn't well this morning. It was like... *coughs*...*vomits*... Whooops
Big Steph Has anyone told him it looks like he has a racoon shagging his head?
Big Steph Ooooh it has a penis.. It's a little Boy muffin!
Ian You've knocked his penis off!
Big Steph I've eaten it now
Lil Emma I read that as 'Tuo' and thought what the hell did that mean. I just got that it was saying 'Out' on the otherside of the door.
Ian I have to keep it up cos the seats push against it.
Ian I'll only sleep with men. That's as gay as I get.
Big Steph *musing aloud* I quite want Ian and Mr Hmmmm to go off together...
Ian The day I do that is the day I turn into a floating sheep
Tom I inadvertantly hit a vegetarian with a sausage roll once...
Tom I don't like my English teacher...She spells stuff wrong
Kevin Kerrigan The sausage factory of justice has sped up considerably in recent years
Ian My phone fails, it doesn't understand the word, 'sniggers'
Big Steph Maybe it thinks you're being racist and sneezing?
Tom *after talking, and indeed miming about cupping imaginary testicles...* So you can actually TOUCH a metaphor, with mime... deep
David Gleeson Would Jesus say "I'm rich, I'm saved, screw you"?
John I understand tramps better than I understand most women
Stine That shirt is very circus-y...Do you think he's gay?
Joe Street As you can tell I'm either not David Gleeson or I've lost a lot of weight *Chorus of 'Oohs'* What? I'm just stating the truth
*Talking about red and grey squirrels*
David Gleeson Yeah the grey race is taking over from the red race. Can squirrels be racial? I dunno
Lil Emma Oh can you not just imagine a grey squirrel walking up to a red and just going "Hey nigga"?
Lil Emma He smells German. Smells? I mean sounds
John 'Cos that's not racist at all
Big Steph *Strokes Lil Emma's head* Oooooh. Your head feels very small.
Ian *about Lil Emma* If they're not popping out, you're rubbing them...
John Sex with him would be very rigid...
Joe Street Municipal Reform! Prepare to be blown out of the water with excitement over Municipal Reform. Actually it's really boring so I'll just go over this quickly. Consider it like bran. Tastes awful but it keeps you regular
John Can I draw a goatee on Pudsey?
Richie What? Tickle a goat?
Richie Sooo juicy
John *looks up worriedly*
Richie ...I meant the chicken
John I've always wanted to walk up to a girl and just say 'I've got a 9 inch tongue and I can breathe through my ears'
Lil Emma *sorting out Ian's hair* You've got a kink. I mean you're already kinky
Lil Emma I broke my Ear...Head....Shit
Ian *commenting on the ease of undoing headphones* It'd be easier to take the end out with those two big heads
Ian *after throwing paper balls at Emma on the bus and suddenly noticing he was nearly home* Time flys by when you play with two little balls
Katie It smelled like wet dog. And there wasn't even a dog
Ian Someone tell me why I'm fingering my hole?....Oh I can go quite deep....
*On the bus*
Lil Emma That woman's got a shower cap on hasn't she?
Ian Do you think she knows?
*Talking about the Titanic and how long it took to sink*
David Gleeson That's how long it really took you know. So Leo could run around and nearly be drown, and not be drown, and nearly be drown, and not be drown, and nearly be drown, and not be drown....And then freeze to death
Big Steph *about Rice Pudding* I like to think of it as the brains of my enemies
Stine Right I'm going to go play with my angry women
*John's face just lights up*
Big Emma *Grins* I poked the bush
Lil Emma I just misread this sign on a van and thought it said 'Population reducing vehicle' O_O