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Page name: Newer writings [Exported view] [RSS]
2008-07-11 21:34:37
Last author: MyWings
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Your wish is my Command

I've got no strength
No hope
And no will to live
But you won't let me go
You don't care if it's causing me pain
It's for my own good you say
Show me how it can be
'Cause I see no reason good enough
To keep on living in pain
Knowing the only way
To not let my pain hurt you
Is holding it all inside
Not letting out even one singel tear
Even though I'm drowning
So much pain
No way to make it go away
Tired with no way of resting


You're killing me without letting me die
Can't live
Can't die
Can't make the pain go away




My mind wandered

Hate is fake
You can't hate anything or anyone without loving something or someone
Can you hate something if you don't love anything or anyone?
War isn't worth any of the lives it ruins
True love might be worth bleeding for, but is it worth making others bleed for?
Sleep is important
So is food and water...
But we can manage without it for a while
Pain can be good
But is it worth it?
Would it be wise to risk something you've got to get something you want?
Don't look back
Past is past
Most people live in the past.
Forget about the past
You can't change it
You can't live of looking back
Past can't be changed, but future can
Hold on to what might be coming
Don't walk towards the light
But don't turn around and go back to hiding it the dark either
Stay just where you are
Somewhere in between
Black is black because white is white, but both are all the colours of the rainbow
You can't get one without getting the other too
You can't fall in love without being afraid of loosing them
You can't turn on the light without noticing the dark
You can't know what you like before you know what you dislike
Remember that
And think about if it's all worth it




Living a dream

If you live in a dream
Then what do you dream of?
Do you dream of a life
Since that's the one thing you haven't got?
How do you plan on waking up?
What do you do if the dream is a nightmare?
If you dream of a life
Then why don't you wake up?
If you can't wake up
Then is your dream really your life?
And if your dream is your life
Then do you want to live or dream?
If you live in a dream
Then what do you dream of?




Hvis alt går galt

Hvis alt går galt
Hva gjør vi da?
Gjemmer oss vekk
Undertrykker det
Later som ingenting
Gråter
Klager

Vi gjør mye
Men hjelper det?
Hjelper det å gjemme seg
Vekk fra noe som aldri vil forlate oss helt?
Hjelper det å undertrykke det
Stenge alt inne og holde det der
Hjelper det å gråte?

Å gjemme seg hjelper ikke
For alt går det ikke an å komme unna
Å undertrykke det går ikke
For det kommer til å komme tilbake en eller annen gang
Å gråte.




Lie to me

Lie to me
I'll know
You're not telling the truth
And I don't want the truth

Lie to me
I'll know
And convince myself
You're telling me the truth

Lie to me
I'll know
But I won't care
Cause lies are not that bad

Lie to me
I'll know
I need to know
So that I know I'm not to trust it

Lie to me
I'll know
Cause when I know you lie
Then I won't get hurt when I find the truth




That's what

If I am but one of many
If nothing lasts forever
If hope is wasted
If there's not such thing as love
Then what?

Then nothing
I hope I'm not one of many
I hope this will last forever
I hope a lot, so I don't think it's wasted
I hope there is such a thing, cause i can't live without you

If you are not the only one
If I can't trust you
If they're right
If my love for you isn't real
Then what?

Then nothing
You are the only one right now, and hopefully always
I choose to trust you anyway
I don't care if they are
It is. I know it is

That's what




Little angel of mine

Little angel of mine
Why are you so cold?
Why is your skin so white?
Why don't you answer?
Why don't you move?

Little angel of mine
What happened to you?
Why are you all stiff?
Why are your cloths all thorn?
Can angels really bleed?

Little angel of mine
Who did this to you?
Who was responsible for your pain?
What were you trying to tell me earlier?
What would you have said if you could speak now?

Little angel of mine
What am I to do now?
Who will guide me now I haven't got you?
You're not allowed to die!
Little angel of mine
Talk to me!
Move!
Live!




Blood

You can wash away blood
Ten thousand times
But it never totally disappears

You will always know it's been there
You will always remember the feeling
When you saw it

You will always remember where it was
And how it looked
You will never forget it

Every time you look at that place afterwards
You'll see blood there
Some things never change

Some things can't be washed away
Some things are always there
Some sorrows will never go away




Angels from hell

Humans thinks they're always right
When most of the time they're wrong
It's human nature to hurt
And blame others for their pain

We say many wise things
But we never listen to ourselves
No one really learns from their mistakes
They make the same mistakes over and over

I never knew what I had
Till it's gone and can never come back
Most people are like that
So stupid they don't understand

And when we say we're sorry
The none of it should have happened
Then it's too late
We can't forgive mistakes

Humans are angels from hell
Born angels but raised in hell
When you're raised be devils
You always end up as one yourself

How would this planet have been
If there had never been humans?
Would it have been any better
For everything we hadn't changed?




Leave me alone

Leave me alone
I never asked for this
I never choose to get hurt
You made that happen
With all your pittiful lies

I told you to go away
You didn't listen
I said no
You didn't care
Now, leave me alone
So I can hide my tears in the shadows

Please tell me what I did
I don't want to do it again
I know you never loved me
Just leave me alone

Was I too nice to him?
Did I ever say I wanted this?
I don't want to get hurt again
And if you don't leave me alone
I'm going to hurt you as much as I can
On purpose

Please tell me what I did
I don't want to do it again
I know you never loved me
Just leave me alone

Stop calling me
I don't want to speak with you
I won't answer
Stop messaging me
I won't write back
Just leave me alone!

Go away!
Can't you see what you're doing to me?
Leave me alone
Why won't you listen?
Go away
Please
Just leave me alone!




A good darkness

It's all darkness
Darkness everywhere around me
And it's a good darkness

It shuts out all the loneliness
And makes me feel calm
Nothing can hurt me

Then you light a candle
One small light in all that blackness
The candle is you

You warm my heart
Make me feel whole
Show me what love is
I've never felt less alone
Cause I've got you
No matter what, I'll always have you

And I'm not sad over the little dark
That left when you came
Cause this is even better

I love you
More than anything and anyone
And from now on it'll never be all darkness around me




That’s why I’m me!

I’m me
I haven’t always been
But I am now
I hid away
Until I understood it was wrong

I’m me
Right here, right now
Trying to be me as often as I can
Don’t want to hide anymore
Am so tired of wearing masks

I’m me
But who am I?
What do I like?
What don’t I like?
Why didn’t I want to be me?

I’m me
Just because
I like what I want to like
And dislike more than I want to dislike
My opinions are mine

I’m me
Right here, right now
Trying to be as often as I can
Don’t want to hide anymore
Am so tired of masks

I’m me
My thoughts make me who I am
My words I choose myself
My dreams can no one take away from me
This makes me ME!




My writings

This is me
This is how I deal with my breakdown
I try to get it all down on paper
All my thoughts
So that I can get them out
So that I don’t have to think about it anymore
So that if someone wants to know about
Any of this
I can just hand them these pages
And they can read for themselves
How I feel
And what was going on
When everything
Or almost everything
Broke down
And my world turned dark

I’ve been writing a lot
Since I got this way
I’ve been writing down how it feels
What’s been on my mind
And how it’s all looking
From my point of view
I can’t let myself go
But I can’t keep track of myself either
I lost myself
And have been out looking for a while
When I got tired of looking
I turned to the words instead
I’m hoping
That somewhere in between
Everything I’ve ever written
I’ll some day
Find myself

What I’ve written is meant
For anyone who bothers to sit down
And read it
It’s not amazing poetry
It’s not great at all
But it’s true
I know every feeling
I’ve put into it
I know why I’ve written it
And how hard it was
To feel it
Some of it is written as letters
Letters to just anyone
But most of them are also written
To a certain someone
Because I need him to know all of this
But I can’t tell him
And now I’m not even sure
If he’ll ever read it
And how I feel towards him
Mostly because that’s what is always
On my mind
Him
I’m going to carry with me
These texts for the rest of my life
But no matter how much
The world
Or I change
I’ve promised myself
I’m going to let this stand unchanged
It needs to stay like it was from the beginning
Otherwise it’ll loose
Its meaning

This is the beginning
This is the end
What was in between?
Nothing
Ironic
But true
This is how I feel
Everything can be a new beginning
But it’s also always the end
I’m living till the end of the world
But the world’s ending all the time
It’s been ending since the beginning
That’s how everything is
Beginning and ending
At once
All the time

I’m not dead
But I’ve died ten thousand times
It all can make sense
If you twist it
The right way
Leave me alone
But don’t go
I need you
But you mustn’t know
I need to tell you
But you can’t know
So what have I got left?
A whole bunch of letters I never sent to anybody




The Day We Died

I died in your arms
You cried
I saw your tears
I know you said my name
You screamed it over and over
I heard it all

I heard what you wispered in my ear
And it would have made me cry
If I hadn't already been dead
What's the point in crying
When you'll never know?
I wish I could have said it back

when I slowly turned cold
You tried to make me warmer
When my eyes stared without seing anymore
You closed them
When my hand fell to the ground
You picked it up and held it in yours
When my lips never closed
You kissed them one last time

They said there was nothing more you could do
You yelled they couldn't take me away from you
Not this time, you cried
Then you decided to follow me
I could see it in your eyes
You wouldn't let me leave without you

When I slowly turned cold
You tried to make me warmer
When my eyes stared without seing anymore
You closed them
When my hand fell to the ground
You picked it up and held it in yours
When my lips never closed
You kissed them one last time

You came after me
And I got to say back
What you said to me
That I will always love you
And we'll always be together
I'll always be with you


It never stops
There is never really an ending
Not even for you and me
We'll be walking down this road forever
Together for the rest of the evernity




Nightmares about shadows


I see you
In so many ways
Lost
You're there, but so far away
I want to ask you to stay, but I can't
‘Cause you can't hear a word I'm saying
Still, I want to tell you


It feels like I'm drowning
I know how I want to die
But I'm not dead
And I'm not dieing
It just feels like I am
‘Cause you're lost
I can't find you


Everything is darkness
I want to fall, but I can't
I stay were I am
Can't move at all
Just watch
Watch you move even further away
You are about to disappear totally


I scream
Cry
There's nothing anyone can do
I feel like I’ve lost you completely


My own scream wakes me up
I'm crying harder than ever before
‘Cause I feel like I‘ve lost
Lost you
And life


But after a while I get a bit calmer
And I lie there the rest of the night, thinking.
As long as you live in me you're not gone
Not totally
And if I tell other people, you'll live in them too


That’s love
Love is to live without necessarily being alive
Love is to love someone so much you won't ever let them die
Why can't you see that?
I'm not letting you go
I'm not letting you get lost
I won't loose you
I love you too much


[This last poem I wrote right after a friend of mine got killed in a car crash... I wrote it as a short text, and over a year later I found it again, and made it into a poem. He was an angel, and I'll always carry our friendship with me]








<--- Back to Christine's poetry

[MyWings] - Kris


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2006-04-30 [MyWings]: I just needed to gather it all somewhere... I'll see if i get do something with them later

2007-09-05 [true love waits]: loved every word you wrote i can't wait to read more

2007-09-06 [MyWings]: I don't know when there will be coming a lot more, really, cus i've got a job now and hardly have time for anything but that and school. but as soon as i have the time there's nothing i want to do more than writing.

2008-01-09 [Maeve104]: Your poetry is wonderful. It isn't flowery-it goes right to the point. Love it. :)

2008-01-10 [MyWings]: Thank you! :D

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