The idiotic things Ian saysThe new home for the things Ian says that I take dirty xD
Pull me thingee out for me
I thought it was a girder
Like a big metal thing?
....What am I thinking of?
A garter Ian
My thingy is hanging out the bottom of my trousers
My nipples are hard...
My thingee doesnt work
*sniffs fingers* My fingers smell.......
*sniffs again.......Of chicken....huh
We were talking about how I had hard nipples
But you're a Geordie, we don't feel the cold
Well I'm sorry, that my nipples aren't Geordie enough
Cmon Miss we're finished now can we go
No just wait a few minutes, you know what Mr.Knight is like
*walks toward door* Pleeeeeeese
Fine, spell Schizophrenia
Mrs. Eggett No you missed an 'R'
Ian Fine let me spell something else
Mrs. Eggett *looks confused*
Ian *shouts* O....C....D *walks out of the door*
Mrs.Ward So what do we think?
Ian Well it could be deterministic because she wanted to wear something that matched her outfit
Mrs.Ward Ooooooh Ian's turning into our own little Gok Wan
Ian My thing's all sticky
Lil Emma Well I get it everyday now
Ian You get it off me every Thursday
Ian It won't come out!
Erin Shake it harder
Ian Someone sniff me
Ian I want one of them really long ones
Ian My crotch is all wet
Ian My penis just flew off my head
Big Steph Don't worry Ian doesn't mind sticky things
Big Steph Just lie there with your legs open and just kinda wink at people
Lil Steph *peering at Ian's t-shirt* Does that say cock legend?
Big Emma A butterfly is more manly than you
Ian I went to pull it up and it sprang back
Ian It all came out too fast
Lil Emma Buffoon
Ian Is that a type of monkey?
Ian I need a big one...I don't have a big one
Lil Emma Balls we have you know
Ian You have balls?
Ian If I make it really small it might go in
Ian Your fingers are small enough to make me squeal
Lil Emma Bad luck just follows you around like a cloud don't it?
Ian See? Gays can’t throw
Lil Steph Yeah but they can toss
Ian I'm bringing howdy back. Kinda like Justin Timberlake only not as sexy
Ian I'm not a gay gay!
Micheal Rocket Propelled
Ian Steph's farts?
Erin Ian I asked a guy out for you, but he said you were too straight looking
Ian I'm too straight to date a gay guy, coool
Michael If Ian were here he'd have pulled by now... Male, female *gestures at phallic shaped bar fitting*... object
Ian How does a T-Rex wank???
Ian I feel like a Drag Queen today
Ian Do them curtains look 3D?
Jess and Alex Yes cos they're real Ian
Ian No but I mean they look 3D. Like the colour looks odd.
Becky and Charlie Ian, they ARE 3D
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