[NorthStorm]'s diary

1127196  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2010-12-08
Written: (3696 days ago)

Sometime's other's have said it so well, that there's just no better way of wording it; but when we do quote other's who have expressed what resounds True in our own heart's, let us at least give credit to such kindred soul's... The first two parts of this Journal entry are song's by My favorite band from Sweden. The third and final part is Original, by Me. The purpose of this entry is to express The Duality of The opposing forces which are now Battling within Me... Not that you can even begin to comprehend; but perhaps one will see a dualistic beauty and be inspired to deep thought and greater understanding of the world by such.
So, without further ado, I give you:

Written and performed by Amon Amarth

...They came riding at first light
Fifty men armed to the teeth
The sounding horn called Us out to fight
We went to greet them with Our steel

Outnumbered yet We fought
But soon We were overrun
We took refuge in Our home
Our downfall had just begun

They attacked Our home, we kept them out
Defending ourselves with spear and bow
We took them out one by one
As the rising Autumn sun glowed

There were twenty dead on each side
When we first smelled something burn
We heard them laughing from outside
Taunting us with spiteful words

They had set the house on fire
In order to smoke us out
Only five of us were still alive
And our time was running out

Raging flames surrounded us all
Our home was under siege
Crumbling roof and burning walls
There was no way to break free
As We were all about to die
We swore A Sacred Oath
Revenge would be claimed if someone survived
And We Sealed The Oath in Blood

The roof caved in and cleared a path
A way out of the flames
It was decided that I*d go first
As We made for Our escape

Suddenly the walls came down
And trapped the rest inside
My Closest Friends died that day
Only I made it out alive...

Written and performed by Amon Amarth

It's five years since I left this land
Since I left My friends to burn
Five years making bitter plans
Preparing My return

All this time My hatred's grown
The one thing on My Mind
The Hate in Me is All I*ve known
The One Thing keeping Me Alive

Bold word spreads across the land
Bragging tongues speak carelessly
Know they not what is to come
I*ll Hunt them down restlessly

The Oath I Swore, once sealed in Blood
A Seal between Loyal Friends
I Swore before Ancient GODS
I Will Have Revenge

I Swore! Before My GODS!
An Oath! Once Sealed in Blood

So here I stand in pouring rain
As he comes riding down the path
He will learn the meaning of pain
As subject to My endless Wrath
He will be the first to pay
For the bragging words he spoke
He'll regret that fateful day
My friends perished in smoke

I Swore! Before My GODS!
An Oath! Once Sealed in Blood!

So here I stand on the road
With cold steel in My hand
As he looks into My unforgiving soul
His tears begin to run

One man down twenty nine to go
Consider yourselves warned
I*m Coming for the rest of you
And I will have No Remorse!... 

That is the end of the story, as far as Amon Amarth is concerned; but it goes on...

Berserker BeWitched

Again I violently awake, Lashing at the enemy,
So quick to kill, till dream is gone and no one there I see,
Each time I enter My abode I search and clear as if at war,
Inside the battle Rages on even when it's no more;

My dreams are painted red with Blood, it always seems so real,
There is no hesitation here to kill with cold blue steel,
The smell of smoke, of death so close, yet fear I cannot feel;

Now in My house, I look about for onslaught well prepared,
So full alert and ready, but there is no one there,
My heart with Hate is always full, My Mind for battle forged,
At times I run from happines, as if a dog when scourged;

Water now streaming down My skin as My body is cleansed,
To wash the hell out from My mind, I can only pretend,
Silent I keep of matters such, for none can understand,
To know where they have never been would be a fool's demand;

Alone I walk among them all, so care free do they seem,
So soft and harmless they appear, as if from gentle dream,
My brothers far away at war, I feel I should be there,
Yet promise made, now must be kept, does My Honour declare;

So Wolf among the sheep am I, as akward as can be,
My thoughts they can never concieve, never can they know Me,
Finally I laugh and sigh, accepting this reality,
My Heart is cold, My mind is Hard, but what is This I see?

An innocence stands before Me, such as I thought could not exist,
A gentle creautre, pure and kind, wot even were I all but blind, I could no wise have missed...
As full moon Glows in cloudless sky in middle of the Night,
So there She is, that no regard demands all else in sight,
I marvell at this mystery Wot calms My fury's Might,
And once within eternity, I do not wish to Fight...

My cold steel heart now beats with Vigor, My icy eye's now welled with tears,
My hard, numb soul winces in pain, and now My Fearless Spirit fear's,
With Hate a Beast I have become in apathetic disregard,
So long have I forsaken time's when My heart was unscarred,
My Strength became My closest friend, Glorious death, My salvation in the end,
Why is it now, in All My Strength,I cannot look away,
From this creature, so unlike Me in almost every way?
With What Magick am I BeWitched that My composure steals,
Most Confident of Alpha Males, Now Nervousness I feel?
What Goddess do I now behold,Wot Warms My Heart, Icy and Cold?
Why do I find in place of Wrath A Longing for Something at which I once laughed?
How has The Hard and calloused One, who at sentiment once mocked,
Become as soft as summer grass, wot by the breeze is rocked?
And why does vicious bear now fear, the soft voice of The Gentle Deer?
Who's song lul's around Him like ribbon of silk, so delicate and smooth,
Yet make's The Mighty feel Vulnerable, and thus afraid to move?
Confused is He wot without fear has stared death in the eye's,
Now Spellbound by A Harmless dove, so much to His Suprise,
More than once hath The Warrior felled men wot were twice His size,
Yet before soft and fragile maiden, His lofty arrogance now dies...

Now Battle still within Him dwells, with War is He as One,
For never can he forsake where He's been and What He's done,
Also in Him is Something New, from which He cannot run,
A Mighty Force, He's never known so Subtle has Begun,
He long's to kill the foe in the field, the enemy to slay,
He long's with All His Heart to see again The Maiden's Face,
He long's for battle off to go, He long's with Her to stay,
He long's to cast the past away and feel Her Warm embrace...

Written by [NorthStorm]

1126892  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2010-12-02
Written: (3702 days ago)

Scott Pilgrim was right...

1126791  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2010-11-30
Written: (3704 days ago)

Ok Nebby, in Truth I can relate to wanting the dream and not giving up on Realizing it; even if it means shaking stuff up to get there.

...but you're still an egotist.

Take it easy, buddy.

1126639  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2010-11-26
Written: (3708 days ago)
Next in thread: 1126678

"I have dreamed a dream; but now that dream has gone from Me".


"Guess what, Nebby. I had a fucking dream too. Now the dream is gone.. So maybe you're not so fucking special after all. ..Fucking egotist!"


1126638  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2010-11-26
Written: (3708 days ago)

I was once a naive fool, who always wanted to Save the world. After pouring My Heart out for those who needed Me and being betrayed by them all time and time again, I Am No longer a victim to what A Wise and Honourable Woman once told Me I had: "Knight in Shining armor syndrome".

My Heart is Mighty and has been Broken, yet still It Beat's on...

I have Always been a Warrior.
Now I still live by Honour and Believe in Heroism; but I am A Harder Man.

I have been to war for My country.... I should probably go back in... So many rules, though... Anyway

I now understand how My ancestors felt...

If only I could sail to those days of old, when A Warriors Heart, turned Hard and Cold,
Could sail away across the sea, far away to face foreign enemy;

Then Noble Battle finds The Thane, who finds His Heart Alive again,
And having shed sufficient blood, his own spills on The Earth...

I don't feel like writting anymore, sorry..

1126532  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2010-11-24
Written: (3710 days ago)

"Yeah? You havin a rough day? I was in Korea. You don't even know the amount of tears I could cry. I could grow crops with my tears. Nobody in this world cares if you're sad. Now take off your dress and end this little tea party."

~Dane Cooks Dad~

- Korea and + Iraq and that pretty much sums it up


1126311  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2010-11-19
Written: (3715 days ago)

"Love is The achillis heel of The Warriors Heart" ~Me~

1126280  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2010-11-18
Written: (3716 days ago)

It's like a game of tag, only I'm not sure who's "it".
Her court, My court? Shit, is the ball even in the court anymore? Does it matter? Maybe we should just stop playing this Awesome game of tag, AHA! There is no ball, nor court, because this is Tag! ...and sometimes maybe hide and go seek. It's fun; but it's getting late. I have to go soon. I don't want to go. Not without Her... 

1126066  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2010-11-13
Written: (3721 days ago)
Next in thread: 1126068

I wonder... I Wish... I Hope... I Dream... I set goals... I Plan... I Strategize... I Prepare... I Work... I Battle...

Wish Me Luck. Wish Me Happiness. I finally admit that I Deserve it. I am so tired of being sad.

1125676  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2010-11-04
Written: (3730 days ago)

Dear Stupid question asker. Please stop asking Me why I: Train so Hard, Am so Adventurous, find Humor even in life and death situations, don't fear Death, am not married, don't believe in the bible, question "authority", ect, ect, ad infinitum.

It's like asking A Storm why it is so Fierce... This is Me. =)

Simple enough? This conversation's over. =)

1125143  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2010-10-25
Written: (3740 days ago)

So, in four minutes and forty five seconds, one of The Greatest Athletes in America was beaten.. Brock Lesnar was defeated by an overhand right and knee to the face by Cain velasquez. There has to be a rematch...

1124883  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2010-10-19
Written: (3746 days ago)

To know the torment of My soul is that which you should never know,
The Darkened depths within My Heart is somewhere you should never go;

Consuming Flames of Unquenchable Passion, like Blood courses through My veins,
Like stinging venom tipped Thorns and briars, My consciouness ever My Pain;

Yet Do Not Pity Me My friends, your simpathy I*ll Not recieve,
Compassion upon Me is wasted, for this My grief does Not relieve;

I pay the price for My own crimes, bitter fruit of My misdeeds,
Though ever good were My intentions, Foolish youth, the heart misleads;

All too often was I warned, countless more admonished well,
True they say: Our Best intentions ever pave the road to hell;

Love I gave the Undeserving, who gave betrayal for their part,
Ever present are the memories, like rusty nails which pierce This Heart;

Tears within won't flow without, for Cold as Ice I now become,
Hard as Steel and Stronger still, with childhood NightMares Am I One;

Hatred is the vinegar which rains grant Me to tease My thirst,
Love like Water in a desert, one must find oasis first;

Beauty flies around before Me, like a mirage just out of reach,
For I pursue and overtake it, then cruelest lesson does it teach;

War is Ever in My Blood, I drew first Blood at age of three,
Perhaps this is why Love denies Me, that Hardened Warrior I may Be...

1121875  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2010-08-27
Written: (3798 days ago)

(Be forewarned: This one is not for the faint of heart. If you chose to read this entry, you do so of your own free wil and I accept NO, that is, ZERO responsibility for any: hurt feelings, offense, anger, or depression. NOTE: StormDevil is an equal opportunity hater and does not discriminate based on race, religion, creed, sexual orientation, ect, ect, ad infinitum. I HATE you all equally. If you read on, you are agreeing to the above terms).

A question has been on My mind for some time and it is high time I get some answers beyond My Own:

Why in the blue hell is it that the weak minded always feel the need to defend their own insecurity?

... Anyone?
Seriously, if you are so insecure and unconfident in your own abilities, why make the effort to convince others to cater to your over-sensetivity? Any "conviction" which one is not willing to risk their own safety for is hollow and weak at best.
At worst it is no conviction at all; but a simple emotion, felt by a sniveling wretch in futile hope that someone will feel pity and treat their wounds. Perhaps even chastise society for being so "cruel" to such poor cowards.
Bollocks! I say! The society which lowers the standard for the sake of such Social Parasites (yet again) is like a pack of wolves, who stop chasing their prey to attend to the one who feels that eating the deer is wrong. Grass cannot sustain the pack. The flock, certainly; but it is the flock who is ever prey to wolves; and try as they may: the shepherds and sheepdogs cannot protect the stupid and the weak from The hungry Pack.
I Propose My solution: Let the sheep graze with the flock and let the Wolves Hunt with the pack; for there can be no unity between predator and prey (except that which takes place after the prey is devoured).
If a sheep approaches a wolf and tries to convince him to join the flock: what does one suppose would result?...
At least sheep know and understand their place. Every day, someone is protesting against "War" or "Fur" or "Capitalism".
...As if! As if The Rich and powerful in all their ambition are suddenly going to start feeling remorse for the Luxury they enjoy at the expense of their servants simply because some high school or college drop out who has no major accomplishments to their own merit holds up a poorly made sign and yells for a day or two.
The same can be said of the: christian who tries to convince a Warrior descended from Warriors to "turn the other cheek". Not gonna happen. The Vegan who tries to get the Hunters descended from hunters to Stop eating meat. Not gonna happen. The self obsorbed "Spiritual" person of almost Any path, be it Wiccan,Reiki, Buddist, Taoist, shinto, ect, ect, ad infinitum, who elevates their self esteem by speaking in a condescending manner to or of a, perhaps "less spiritual" or "immature person" than themselves in a contemptable attempt to be "looked up to" by someone who deals more in everyday reality than they do.
If such weaklings have to label others as: "Childish", or "Carnal" simply because they disagree with the "denial of self" lifestyle they live and Are Strong Minded enough to CHOOSE FOR THEMSELVES. If this offends them so much: then it is they who are immature and childish; surely not those who take responsibility for their own decisions, rather than blaming it on "god" or "the universe". Name your cleche.
It is utterly Pointless for the elk to Preach at the Lion. This will Not protect them. After all: What are they going to do?
They don't believe in fighting. (Which is convenient, as they usually do not possess the courage or strength to fight).
I forget whether it was George Washington, or Theodore Roosevelt who said that: "The best means of preserving peace is to be prepared for war." How ironic is it that the vast majority of "peacemakers" are those most ill equiped for war. They tend to be thin and frail, or fat and out of shape. They know a great deal about their own propaganda; but little to none about anything else.
To be "offended" implies to take Offense. So as the weak and cowardly are unlikely to take offensive action beyond words and useless "demonstrations"; and thus cannot actually enforce their demands.
Why bother be offended? Without merit. Words mean nothing. You think they're wrong, they think you're wrong and Everyone thinks themselves "Right".
In the end: what really determines "right" and "wrong" depends ENTIRELY on "what side" you are on.
"I am not on any side." Proclaims the self obsorbed philosopher. This is True Hypocrisy at it's worst. They are on a side: Their Own side. They can claim to be "Right" untill their voice grows faint. It makes no difference.
War has, is and always shall be a part of human nature. All living organisms are predatory, as all must consume some other form of life to sustain it's own existence. It is "Survival of the Fittest" then. Life is very much a competition.
In the end The side which Wins is the The Right side... which is why the Right side is the side which Wins....  

1121638  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2010-08-23
Written: (3803 days ago)

(Be forewarned: This one is not for the faint of heart. If you chose to read this entry, you do so of your own free wil and I accept NO, that is, ZERO responsibility for any: hurt feelings, offense, anger, or depression. NOTE: StormDevil is an equal opportunity hater and does not discriminate based on race, religion, creed, sexual orientation, ect, ect, ad infinitum. I HATE you all equally. If you read on, you are agreeing to the above terms).

I Am not usually one to share personal feelings, as in regards to Myself; however Today I Shall.

FUCK YOU ALL! (With a few exceptions.)But the rest of you can go to hell.
You are stupid, you degrade yourselves and shame your anscestors with your weak, sheepish philosophy! Die!

How is it that the descendants of Noble Heros, who would sooner die than kneel, now idolize and emulate the degenerate descendants of slaves who chose to kneel rather than die? Your Yokel culture and ignorant lifestyle is An ABOMINATION! Those who celebrate it, SHAME Themselves! Well bred women who water their blood down and infect it with disease by Mating with these social parasites simply because it is "Cool", or "In" are No Better than the Vernim they try to impersonate!

You want to know why you are Not Happy.. I hear you ask. What A STUPID Question!
If Our Anscestors were here, how they would answer you: "Oh! To think that Our seed should have sunk so low!"

1119737  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2010-07-18
Written: (3839 days ago)

(Be forewarned: This one is not for the faint of heart. If you chose to read this entry, you do so of your own free wil and I accept NO, that is, ZERO responsibility for any: hurt feelings, offense, anger, or depression. If you read on, you are agreeing to the above terms).

Ok. We have All heard that suicide is Not the answer. But in All Sincerity: If you are the ceo, or an executive of a corporation and your SIX FIGURE INCOME just isn't enough without that anual SEVEN FIGURE BONUS; so you and your collegues decide to "Lay Off" 150 + or - American workers who have been the very life blood of your corporation and "Outsource" their positions to a foreign market where you pay the Slaves $0.11 per day, thereby increasing your profit margin; and you don't see this as "Slightly" irresponsible... Then in your case: YES. SUICIDE IS THE ANSWER.

Do the world a huge favor and GO KILL YOURSELF. Take the elevator to the roof of your organizations tallest building and JUMP OFF.

No one likes you anyway. Your wife married you for money and probably has multiple lovers of Both sexes. Your kids despise you, assuming, of course they even know you. You have definately not aknoledged the RESPONSIBILITY which comes with power. All that College Education and Not One Ounce of Common Sense to compliment it.

You Are Worthless. A discrace to society. A Shame to Our Species. Survival of the fittest. Certainly. So inevitably, you will be killed by a disgruntled Ex-employe; as you are Not mentally fit to preserve good relations with The MAJORITY. History repeats itself. Just because a few politicians are bought off does not mean The people will forever tolerate your Stench, spoiling our Society!

Here's a novel idea: If the Government gives you 30 Million dollars to help sustain jobs, in an effort to fix the economy; DON'T USE IT TO SEND YOUR EXECUTIVES ON HUNTING TRIPS AND VACATION SPAS!

The people outnumber your hired muscle and We have guns too.
Be admonished to re-create your strategy. Lest you destroy yourself by awaking a Sleeping Dragon...

1119638  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2010-07-16
Written: (3841 days ago)

Ah. Religion. Everywhere I go, it seems, someone is telling someone else who they should be, how they should live, what they should fear, ect, ect, ad infinitum.

"You're gonna go to hell".

Really? How do you know that?

"The bible says so".

Oh. So because some 40 + men from a culture both foreign and ancient wrote a compilation of works over a span of approximately 1500 years and several governments utilized these texts to control the masses; this somehow makes it credible?? Sure. Of course. I mean, it was written in the middle east, so it has to be true, right? What about the i-ching? The Al Jiwah? How about the poetic Eddas? They were taken from old world culture. Are they all true as well?

"You need jesus!"

Really? How do you know? Not withstanding the two men I*ve met who died of cancer after having some "elders" lay their hands on them and pray in faith, as their bible instructed them to in a promise that they would be healed; and even if one disregards how TWO THOUSAND YEARS later, the world is really no more "Holy" than it was before, even ignoring that the vast majority of Christians live the exact same lifestyle as most: pagans, heathens, jews, muslims, wiccans, Satanists, buddists, darwinists, atheists, ect, ect, ad infinitum; I can, even then give you so many reasons why I don't need to be a christian.

I like My "sin". As you call it. I lust after beautiful women, I have premarital sex, I Am Prideful, Arrogant, Ambitious and competitive. I Do Not turn the other cheek. I Do Not love My enemies; and I Never do good to those who hate Me.
I represent Indulgence (Not compulsion) rather than abstinence.
By the Way, I AM Asatru.

So wouldn't it be just slightly hypocritical of Me to claim a religion and belief system which Completely contradict almost everything I believe and practice?

I don't say these thing to seem heartless, or without honour or common sense. I believe in Family. I Believe in Loyalty, courtesy, and human Decency. But I firmly believe that to deny one's nature is to be a liar in the most wretched sense. For this deciet is Self deciet; and if you can't even be honest with yourself, how can you be honest with anyone else? No. To take the very Instincts which sustain our survival as a species and pleasure as individuals and call them "Dirty", "Immoral" or "Evil".. This is The Real "Sin".

 The logged in version 

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