[loonygirl2005]'s diary

1153389  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2012-09-01
Written: (3381 days ago)

I don't understand why we all have to suffer the blade of family who never loved us. The fake promises that mean next to nothing. I guess the tragedy has some comical elements to it. It hurts if only there could be a fairly fast cure for it. I guess for the time being I have to deal with the grief.

1080804  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2009-05-30
Written: (4571 days ago)

You know its funny how often we think of ourselves as invinceble. The truth is we feel every choice we make and the difference lies in the responsiblity we take. I see that questions lead to irritation but I want to know that trust will be there reguardless of the iritating questions I ask. I don't know what to think at this point.

1057110  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2008-12-02
Written: (4750 days ago)

I am not sure what to feel. It hurts and here I am at a loss on what to say. I don't understand how I got here. Maybe things are ment to be like this for some reason there is a distance. It seems I am only capable of broken bridges but maybe one day I won't feel like this. Its strange change requires us to let go of the selfish part of each of us. It hurts but it needs to be done.

1035407  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2008-07-06
Written: (4899 days ago)

Oh I feel so homesick. I haven't felt this way in a while. It is so gut wrenching. I don't know why I thought this to be any different. I hope to be home soon. I don't feel comfortable and what's worse it feels like the same old pain.

1026690  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2008-04-30
Written: (4966 days ago)

How interesting to be so afraid of success. How interesting to feel heavy when there isn't much holding you down. That means it is the person not trusting. So one must take it as it is and keep going. Keep trying and understand that we are not perfect but do not give up.

1026011  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2008-04-26
Written: (4970 days ago)

Patience and Forgiveness

Two of the hardest lessons to learn and accept. Forgiveness requires a relinquish of pride and predjuice against fellow human beings. It also means we can't allow ourselves to be blind.
Patience is the calm grace to accept that life is not a fairytail and there are figures we have to deal with. It also means that we have to give it flexibility. Requires a lot of effort to silence the child like tendency.

1025854  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2008-04-25
Written: (4971 days ago)
Next in thread: 1026954


1017931  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2008-03-15
Written: (5012 days ago)
Next in thread: 1021134

I often wonder why do people wish to know what happens ahead of time? History is finite and even though the future can be changed it doesn't mean the small changes will make a better outcome. I am curious as to why these events transpire in such a way that even the most intuned person is punched in the gut.I can only hope to end this dance we call life gracefully.

1010956  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2008-02-11
Written: (5045 days ago)

Stay At Myspace

I know there are probably several variations of this sort of wiki, but my frustration continues to rise at the annoying people who come here seeking friends. These people have nothing to contribute but usually bad pics of themselves asking what we think of them and nothing original in their house. I say we take a stand and tell these losers to stay where they belong: at MySpace. Elftown is a site for artists/writers, not an online friends bar, STOP TREATING IT AS SUCH!! If you share my feelings, please join and link back to this wiki in your house.

NOTE: This does not mean I am against people making friends here, far from it! I am simply against people who come here SOLELY for that. Please show your support by linking back to us!
1. [Chaotic Serenity]
2. [Raesha]
3. [Saphira]
4. [Fearathress]
5. [Thrice]
6. [XxTsomexX]
7. [FrankoPhWN]
8. [Nike Laos]
9. [1BadassWarrior]
10. [Love and Chaos]
11. [the loved wolf]
12. [Jitter]
13. [Cia_mar]
14. [Vou]
15. [DeadSockMonster]
17. [SpiritOfTheWater]
18. [nopenope]
19. [{SaRcAsTiC *lOsS *oF* tHe *SuBcOnSiOuS*}]
20. [neoqueen serenity]
21. [{*Suna's Kazekage*} Gaara]
22. [.Toxic Valentine.]
23. [Duke Devlin]
24. [TheKingdomLight]
25. [*(.Randi.)*]
26. [Hobbit teen]
27. [Erubeus] Even though I have a myspace... =x
28. [silent_voice] I likerz this, *posts in diary*
29. [Roxcie] Can't stand those people -_-
30.[Aki Neko]Umm....note the "Fantasy" comunnity? Not "Welcome and join with everyperson you seee"Commnity!!!
31. [†Sweets†] I have a myspace, but only so i can keep in touch with some of my friends.
32. [Mordigen] - i have a myspace too....but thats just it, i leave my BULLSHIT on my muspace, and my art on ET...duh, this isn't a cyber brothrel....
33. [Angel In Red] I dont have myspace.. but even i know to keep the rubbish in my head to a limit, so yeah... guess this wiki rocks... why? Because The Red said so.
34. [Nevermore.] arrrrg!
35. [Ansem]
36. [The Dark Wolf] why you say?... CUSE MYSPACE SUX!!!!!
37. [Vampire Akis] Yep yep Silenty's right ^^
38. [~`~Wolf~`~] I might have a myspace, but that's only to talk to the friends who aren't into fantasy as much as I am. And these people who are here that don't deserve to be are starting to piss me off.
39. [*Night_Shade*] Bah.
40. [Glassphyxie.]
41. [Silver Moon] I hate it when you see polls like: "Do you think i am Hot?" It's sick and usually the answer is NO! I think you are an ass for asking!
42. [Piercedskull] I dont have a myspace.I dont want one.But I agree with this wiki completely.
43. [Dark_Superman] I have one but only to stay in touch with some friends. But I agree as well, death to the sell out that is thus Tom.
44. [de Morte] I tried myspace awhile ago... but it sickened me so much that I had to delete the old account! If your friends are truly your friends then you can stay in contact WITHOUT myspace!
45.[alli.DEADFAYCE.] myspace whores go to myspace. elftown whore stay here. plan and simple.
46. [▲.] This is definitely a place for art, and since I'm an artist this just happens to be the place to be. However, even though MySpace has it's downs, it's still a lovely way to keep in contact. If you abuse the way you use the site, then so be it, some are likely to complain about it. I ask that people don't dis either site, since Elftown has it's own fair share of downs.
47. [Fetish Dolly Koneko™] I started at ET and then went to Myspace and I have enough brains to know where to keep certain things. I love them each for what they are and they should remain different places.
48. [loonygirl2005] AMEN TO THAT! This is a place for artist to actually reach out. Yes you have the option of posting art but they aren't really appricated unless you are famous. Myspace is a purely social place where anything goes but here. This is a sanctuary for all artists to express themselves without the need for cybering. So for those who need to be hot and compared to stars go do that on myspace.

1003461  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2008-01-07
Written: (5080 days ago)

I can't believe I am actually breathing. Who knew that I would not feel so useless now. True I still have a ways to go with my battle but I can actually feel the air touch me and I don't feel like I am the worst scum to walk the earth. I have a lot to be thankful for. I am finding that dream that will need everything I can give. Nothing more or less. I will be patient and work through challenges.

999974  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2007-12-20
Written: (5097 days ago)


I try to keep the balance of the house
I try to fullfill requests
I try to not make mistakes
I try to do everything I can

I mess up anyway
I miss requests because of whatever reason
I mess up the balance all the same

But I am trying

995147  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-11-27
Written: (5121 days ago)
Next in thread: 995285

I feel like a clumsy elephant...I know my brother is not going to be happy and frankly I would not be the least bit surprised if he never lets me use his car again. I just don't know anymore it just seems like my efforts are trumped by something...I just feel horrible...I dread what will come in the morning.

994977  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-11-26
Written: (5122 days ago)

"I'm Sorry!"

i'm sorry if i'm not pretty enough to be "your bitch"

i'm sorry that i don't want to have sex every minute of the day.

i'm sorry that i'm not a playboy bunny so i can act like a porn star for you.

i'm sorry if i don't have a dream body that turns you on.

i'm sorry if i won't drop down to my knees to get you to like me.

i'm sorry if my hair isn't long enough.

i'm sorry if i'm not the "hottest" bitch you've ever seen.

i'm sorry if loving you isn't enough.

i'm sorry if being your friend through thick and thin makes no difference.

i'm sorry that i try my best to get you to like me, but then get hurt.

but most of all; i'm sorry that most guys can't accept a girl for who they really are.

and i'm sorry that most guys will read this and post it and may agree with it but after 5 minutes they forget about it and do the same thing all over again. GUYS! just think about it, about how you treat girls. You treat them like shit & all they want to do is be loved by you. think about it.

If you're a girl and you agree with this letter, repost as "I'm sorry. =["

If you're one of the few GUYS with enough balls to repost and you would never make your girl feel this way, repost as "I love you just the way you are.."

994487  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-11-24
Written: (5124 days ago)

Its nice to feel like your passionate self again. All will fall into place if you allow yourself to breath.

989941  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-11-06
Written: (5142 days ago)

I suffer alone because everything else falls into pieces. Then when I do have to face it then it is too late it has burrowed deep into my heart. I would not wish the problematic lifestyle for any guy and I can not have any controling figures in my life. What I need is affection and understanding and someone who is not active in my rhapsody of the messed up tango.

982094  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2007-10-07
Written: (5172 days ago)

Ok you know getting dropped kicked on your head is one thing. But when your gut and chest feel the pain its a little harder to hide it all. Sick of feeling sick and tired it really is annoying.

981499  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-10-05
Written: (5174 days ago)

ok wow it really does come back to bite you on the nose when you neglect things.

978180  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-09-22
Written: (5187 days ago)

Well I have not felt this out of sorts for a while. But oh well I will find a way to survive. I just feel like a major incovinence to all my friends.

972978  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-09-03
Written: (5206 days ago)

Want to live

I want to be able to smile without condition
I want to be able walk and see the natural beauty
I want to be not to be afraid to mention

970602  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-08-27
Written: (5213 days ago)

I have survived the first week. Now I can only hope things are going to be better. I am glad to have friends on here.

969322  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-08-22
Written: (5218 days ago)

Eye opener

It would seem that I will be all right. I just need to breath and prepare accordiningly. Although that will be a bit of a challenge but hey I can do it.

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